Reframing - Why is this happening for me and not to me?

Did you ever get stuck in one of those cycles where nothing is working out? You think things can’t get worse and then they do, and again, over and over?

We’ve all been there, right? 

So what do you do to get out of this horrific cycle? How do you respond and not react to it?

One of the most powerful shifts I’ve made in my life was when I learned to ask myself a question whenever I was in this situation. 

It’s so simple but it’s hard to bounce out of the old mindset into the new. 

Old mindset: OMG Why is this happening to me?

New Mindset: Okay, deep breath, why is this happening for me? <<Powerful Question, Right Here<<

• What am I supposed to learn?
• Why am I being redirected in my life and how can this help me, what can I learn?

You see when we are in a rut or we believe things aren’t working out for us it's almost always because we are out of alignment with...

As we start our new year we all have dreams, goals, new things we want to come into our lives and other things we want to let go of.

Today I would like to share with you how I show up for myself and why it’s important for you to know that you can do this for yourself also. 

If you want some of the things to change in your life or if you maybe want to change everything then the first step is to KNOW that in order for things to change, you have to change. You can’t do, act, & be the same and expect different results.

The first step in this endeavor is to just make the DECISION that you are doing this for YOU and no one else but YOU. It’s important because you most likely won’t bring about big changes if there is not a lot of passion behind it. So, ask yourself the question, why do I want to do this and why is it important?

The next thing I want you to know is that to make big changes you don’t have to take huge leaps. You just have to leap. Small...

Set Boundaries To Create Space In Your Life

Boundaries are one of my favorite things to talk about because I believe they are the foundation of a high level of self-care and self-love. Also, I am an award-winning recovered people pleaser so I constantly have to work on maintaining my boundaries for myself. 

First things first, what is a boundary?

A boundary is what you are willing to allow or not allow in your energy space.

I want to start by explaining something really important that a lot of people miss.

We are all different, we have different strengths, weaknesses, likes dislikes, love languages, and different patience levels. So naturally, we will all have different boundaries. That's why it's so important for you to set them and MAINTAIN them. It’s your responsibility to do this for yourself. What you think might be an obvious boundary, might not be to someone else and vice versa. 

This is why it's your job to let them know that this is a boundary...

What Standards Do You Use As Your Guide?

When you are doing something in your life whether it be your work, the way you eat, work out, your relationships, or the way you have fun, what do you use as a standard guide to what you do and how you do it?

For example, do you feel you have to put in a certain amount of time to earn a certain amount of money? Or, do you believe that you solve a problem or finish a job and you should get paid? A lot of people believe and a lot of corporations believe you should trade time for money but I think this just creates the opportunity for less than desirable outcomes and unhappy people. 

I think we should focus on doing the best possible work in the least amount of time by being intentional with the way we do things. 

How about working out? Do you ever limit yourself because you might think or society might think, you’re this old and you can’t do that, or you shouldn’t do that? 

I hear this all the time about...

Get Unstuck Series - Learning Your Dreams, Passions, & Purpose

In this next episode of the “Get Unstuck Series” I thought it would be good to talk about how to dream big, and find your passions, & purpose. 

What does that even mean?

Speaking from experience, when I was feeling beyond stuck. I mean, I was so freaking stuck I couldn’t even begin to know what I wanted. 

I had to start reconnecting with myself. Who was I now, who was I before, what do I want, Am I even allowed to dream big? 

I mean I actually used to think, why bother? I was so beaten down that I didn’t even know where to start. 

So what I did was I went back. I went back to a time before I was beaten down, when I remember being happy, inspired, and excited about everything in life. 

I thought to myself, I need to feel this way again.

I have to, and everyone needs to feel this way.

Don’t try to sell me the line, oh Tina grow up, not everything is fun and...

Step 12 - Take Action

 This is an important step for any goal you want to reach or solution you want to reach. Don't sit around and wait for things to become great, don't complain if you have a problem with no solution, make one, If you want something, go get it. No one is going to do these things for you. If you want something to happen, take action.

Recognize what is action and what is procrastination. Educating yourself more, preparing to take action is not action.

You’re never going to feel ready to start so you’ll have to just take the leap. That feeling in your stomach may feel like fear but it’s really excitement! 

Taking action before you’re ready I believe helps you reach your goals quicker. 

It kinda goes like this:

Take action, That wasn’t perfect, let me make some changes and shifts and move forward and keep trying.

So you see, you just keep learning and moving forward until you get to where you’re going! 

Action...

This week for Step 11 in the Life Purpose series we will be talking about gratitude and the benefits of having a gratitude practice.

Gratitude is scientifically proven to improve relationships, physical health, psychological health, empathy, and self-esteem. It also can reduce anger.

Let's not forget that like attracts like so it's a great place to get started when you're trying to improve your energy and vibe and the outcome of anything in your life.

When you're starting to make your daily gratitude list or journal you might be thinking, what am I grateful for? Some people struggle at first to come up with things. 

Remember to start small. Think of all those small things that are just so great. Your morning coffee, Your puppy or your cat, the sunrise, someone who made a kind remark to you the other day. These things make a big difference in our lives and it’s important to acknowledge them. 

The more we acknowledge them the more they will show up in our lives!

...

It is not healthy for us as humans to stand still and to be stagnant. Remember, movement is life. It's human nature to want to learn and grow throughout our entire life and this should never stop. It is your job to feed and nourish this desire and keep your mind and imagination alive. Right now, let's focus on reigniting our desire to learn new things and have fun doing them.

I once watched a Ted Talk where the guy talked about an experiment he did where he tried something new every 30 days.

I thought, that sounds like fun, I’m going to do that!

The first thing I did was start eating plant-based cold turkey! It was an amazing experience and something I had been thinking about for a while. By the way, I’m still plant-based today and it’s been around 12 years! I also coach other people who want to transition over so give me a shout-out if this is you.

Don't worry about being good at something or looking good. Right now, just focus on moving forward, learning...

Step 9 - Love yourself exactly as you are~

If you love yourself exactly the way you are, unapologetically, everyone else will follow suit. Going back to the first step, learning about the things we love definitely helps, you learn more about who you are. Here are a few more questions to ask yourself.

Questions:

• Are you changing the way you act with certain people to avoid conflict or to make them happy? If so, why?
• Do you find yourself trying to do things that you don't like to do to please others? Why?
• Are you worried about sharing your beliefs and dreams with the people you love and spend time with because you're afraid of judgment? Why?
• Are you judging the way you look by comparing yourself to other women or representations of women in the media you consume? 
• Ask yourself if these are true representations of true women of today or are they unrealistic representations?

These can be signs that you're not in alignment with yourself and are questioning who you are. 

...

Step 8 - De-stress and self-care - Life Purpose Guide

De-stress and self-care

Most of the things we have talked about so far could be considered de-stressors and self-care. You will find if you don't continuously look at the ways you spend your time and reset how you might be doing things, you’ll become unbalanced. Just like riding on a bicycle becomes habitual and second nature, where you don't even have to think about the balance, it just happens, you need to form this same habit with self-care in your life.

Boundaries:

I believe that learning to set boundaries and maintain them so you can protect your energy and time is the foundation of self-care.

How do you know when you need to set a boundary? If you are feeling obligated to do something to keep the peace or to avoid conflict a boundary needs to be placed here.

If you feel like someone is walking all over you or you feel like a doormat, a boundary needs to be set.

Setting boundaries is about deciding what is acceptable...