Last night I had a night. One of my dogs, Max, was up all night pacing. He was upset about something? I believe it was the incoming thunderstorms. I have 2 dogs, Max & Millie. Both Golden Doodles, both adopted. Max is high maintenance, reckless, and keeps you guessing about everything type of dog and Millie is well trained, sweet, loving, and hyper as a 4yr old that just drank a large red Slurpee from 7-11.

So I did not sleep at all or you could say I was in and out of sleep and I kept having some really crazy dreams. I felt like I fell asleep and woke up a thousand times. Every time I woke up I got a message and it was the same each time. The message was, What you did to get where you are now is not going to get you where you want to go. 

Hmmm, what the heck do I need to do then? 

Well, let’s start with the fact that I’m proud of myself. I am proud because usually when I get a cryptic message from my higher self, my intuition, I don’t pay...

There have been many times in my life that I’ve entered that dreaded stuck phase. It usually starts with you not realizing you're stuck, then you start to get frustrated, and me, I get cranky, then I get to the point where I just cry. I sometimes skip past all the phases but most of the time I work through them and it’s because of this one thing. 

FEAR

The worst thing about fear is that it's the first thing our brain goes towards. I’m pretty sure this is meant to protect us but a lot of the time, we get stuck, frozen in time. We keep going through the motions of our life in the phases I talked about above until we’re so uncomfortable that we have to do something. 

As this is my new series of essays about living life on my terms. I’ve decided that from this point forward I’m going to take drastic steps to keep moving forward. Become more aware when fear gets a hold of me and take a leap forward embracing this fear. 

I actually know...

In a world with so many what-ifs I've decided to be sure about how I will live my life and today I wanted to share some of my thoughts with you. 

Starting with, just eat the ice cream and enjoy it. Stop saving everything for later or when. Use the good china, the good perfume, make-up, that awesome outfit, the nice shoes. Stop saving it for a special occasion, enjoy it now. Treat yourself the way you treat your house guests, do this every day! Take the day off, take the vacation, even if it’s alone, do it now, and stop waiting for someone else. Spend some money on yourself, give compliments, say I love you, ask them out, tell them you admire them, and don’t tolerate bullshit or bad behavior. Stop making excuses for others' bad behavior, and stop apologizing for your existence, you’re allowed to take up space, learn that thing you always wanted to learn, and you’re never too old or young. Fuck society's expectations, fuck the patriarchy, you’re...

I had something come up this week while practicing stillness as a part of my Mind Body & Soul Reset program. 

This was one of the challenges this week for everyone in the program including myself. 

To sit in stillness doing nothing. No phone, reading, social media, music, nothing. 

We started with 5 minutes because I know this can be super challenging for me, a perpetual doer, it must also be hard for others, right?

So I’ve been going outside every day to my sitting spot, I take my shoes off to also make sure I ground. Even in stillness, I’m multitasking. 

I sit there and do nothing. I close my eyes and listen to the birds, the creek running. It’s so relaxing. When my mind wanders to my schedule and what I should be doing I bring it back to focus on the birds and the creek. 

So I had two breakthroughs. First, the 5 minutes went by sooo fast, so I stayed there longer. I was surprised at how crazy fast 5 minutes were. I loved it....

I think it’s so mind-blowing to think about how many decisions we make in a day and how each decision we make leads us down a different path. 

It’s crazy how much control we can have over our life experiences when we start to focus on being really intentional with the way we spend our time and taking the time to make the choices that are aligned with our true selves and our true path. When we learn how to respond to life instead of continuously reacting we can start to take control. 

I always think of the Katy Perry song where she talks about your life being like a plastic bag in the wind being tossed around not knowing what life will bring you next. 

While this can be true about what comes into our lives, I don’t believe it's true about the outcomes we create with those experiences that come toward us. As I said earlier, we have complete control over how we respond to our life situations so we then have control over how we want to experience...

Yesterday, Sunday, was a great day. I was thinking about it all day. How I was having fun, I was relaxed, and the day seemed to last forever. This led me to think to myself why did I enjoy my day so much and why not have every day like this one?

I came to the conclusion that I’m at an age where I’m absolutely blissed out if I just do all the things I love and I thought I would share some of them with you today. 

I want to grow, prepare, and eat delicious plant-based whole food. This means having my hands in the dirt tending to my garden, watching it grow, pulling weeds, and watching the birds making families around me while I’m out there. I can spend 8 hours doing that and be very content and happy. Making the food. I love cooking and especially love plant-based cooking. Learning how to preserve and use the food from my garden is a new learning experience every year. The eating part. Well, we all love eating, don’t we? I think my goal this year is...

This is what goes through my head when I come on any platform to share my message, my work, and what I’ve learned that I know will help women. 

I feel like if I speak from my soul and my truth that it will be too much. It’s a bit too edgy. That you might think I’m too much or maybe going a little too far. 

I feel it might trigger some women because what I believe is so far from society's norm. But as I said in my last blog and I’ll say it again. When did society's norm ever support women? Support women in a way where they can step into their power and be fully themselves without being judged on every level. It just doesn’t. 

This is what holds me back in my business. Holds me back from speaking about what I know to be true.

I know or believe some people, men & women, might think it's too extreme. I believe the opposite. That when women mute themselves to make others comfortable or to reduce friction and confrontation. Thats fucking...

Is It Selfish To Put Yourself First

Nowadays I try to always put myself first. But sometimes the old me sneaks through. 

You might be familiar with the version. I was a top-notch people pleaser, always there to make everyone happy, and to always make sure to avoid all confrontations. I would change into the type of person I thought the person I was with wanted me to be. I always made sure everyone around me was comfortable and happy. Does this sound familiar to you? Are you or have you been in the past a people pleaser?

This was a survival technique I learned from having to avoid the abusive behavior I experienced for most of my life. I lived like this for over 20 years but even after I removed myself from the situation it was such a habit, being in survival mode, that it took me a few more years to break free. 

What happens to a person who does everything to please others, always takes care of others, and puts herself last?

They lose...

To all the ladies who feel stuck,

In my last post, I talked about the first step to take to get unstuck and I shared you need to know what you want and you need to think big. 

This is the best way to start because you can't get to where you want to be unless you kinda know where you're going, right?

Another point I want to talk about is that change will not happen unless you reach that point, The Breaking Point, because we won't really be motivated to change unless we are so uncomfortable that it's more uncomfortable than the fear of making the changes. 

Our brains are built to keep us alive, not happy. So it's pretty uncomfortable for us as human beings to make these changes. 

So how do you know you're at that point? Well just like I said above. It's more uncomfortable to stay where you are. 

Some of the things I hear from women and have felt myself at one point are:

• You feel lost and have no idea who you are anymore.
• You're tired of filling everyone...

We all know that we need to allow ourselves to rest in order to put our best version of ourselves into the world but very few of us actually do this.

This is just one of the pressures we put on ourselves, to do, do, do, and then do more. 

We also don’t allow ourselves any time to feel the negative feelings that are just a part of life. 

You see there is this pressure to always be positive, to raise our vibration, to be a bright ray of sunshine in order to attract this same energy into our lives. 

The truth is, it’s not just okay for you to be not okay, but it’s also necessary to be not okay in order for us to process these feelings.

If we mask these feelings, if we push them down and try to hold them there. They will resurface, they are still there, and you can’t positive mantra the shit out of them. 

There is a saying that Wayne Dyer said and I’m sure I’ll screw it up a bit, but here...