Last week I talked about how After I had a stroke at 39 from stress I had to learn how to care for myself at a deep level in order to survive. What I didn’t talk about is the 11 Deep-Level Self Care practices I used to get there but I’m not just surviving, I’m thriving! 

My biggest lesson and message I share is that when you learn that deep-level self-care is NOT selfish, putting yourself first is NOT selfish. It serves everyone. 

That statement might trigger a few people. I know it would have me triggered years ago because I based my worth on how I cared for others and how much I could do for others. 

Basing your worth on something outside of yourself is a recipe for disaster. Depending on another person or situation to make you feel good, happy, and fulfilled in life will always leave you feeling unsatisfied and puts unneeded pressure on all of your relationships. The only person that can do those things for yourself is you. 

By using these self-care practices my intention at the...

The Difference Between Surface & Deep Level Self Care & Why You Need Both

When I share what I do with the world I always share that I’m a Deep-Level Self-Care & Mindset Coach. When I say this I know that most people don’t know what I mean by that and think, “Why would I need a Self Care Coach?”.

Today I want to talk about the difference between surface-level self-care and deep-level self-care and why you need both of these infused into your daily life in order to put the best and healthiest version of yourself with the world. 

First, let’s define surface-level self-care. These are things like the bubble bath, getting your nails done, spending some time outside, and lunch with a friend. 

This type of self-care is important but will not have any lasting effect on your life if you're not taking care of yourself on a deeper level.

Deep-level self-care is working on yourself at a deeper level. For example, setting and maintaining boundaries in order to protect your time and energy. Lea...

I believe this will be the last of the Life On My Terms Series as I feel a shift moving into something else. Maybe it's the change of seasons, but I definitely feel a shift.

This topic, Finding Your Soul Aligned Friends & Family, is something that is very close to my heart. I’ve had to do this many times over for different reasons. 

There are some people who will always be in my life and then there are some who have come and gone. Either way, there will always be times throughout your life when there is a need to expand your soul posse.

The first time I had to do this was when I came out of a very verbally abusive relationship where I lost the connection and trust in myself. When this happens, it’s hard to stay close to your soul family. Then, I also had to do this the many many times I moved in my life. 

As we get older, I think this gets difficult because of a few reasons. Sometimes we just know who we are and are very picky about who we let into our lives. I think this is a good...

I have given a lot of time to think about how cool it would be to go through your younger years of life with all the knowledge I have now as a woman in my mid-life era or what I like to call my Villan Era, oh how much fun it would be. I would be so powerful it would be dangerous. 

This is why when I see the younger generations of women stepping into their power so amazingly I am in the front row of their cheering section. I’ll do anything to champion these young girls and women and live through their experiences with the pride of a mother. I will also do everything to raise that generation up. 

That’s where the topic came from for this blog. If I could send my younger self all my knowledge from the life that I lived so far, what would it be? What would I say to that young, insecure girl with a full life ahead of her? 

Here are some of the things on my list:

Don’t care about what anyone else thinks or says.

Nobody out there cares what you're doing. I swear, NOBODY.  Everyone is foc...

I’m a dog person for sure. As in, my dogs are my second set of children. I’ve learned there are a couple of different levels of “dog person”. There's my crazy level. Then there are people who say they’re dog people but have to wash their hands after they touch one (Not from allergies) Now there is no hate coming from me. It’s just me noticing a difference. 

Over the past couple of years, I’ve become closer with my dogs. You know through the pandemic and them being my most favorite companions ever.

There is a lot to say about the love and companionship we get from our pets or if you're like me, your furbabies, and today I want to share a few things I’ve learned just from watching and spending so much time with them.

These things I believe are life-changing, meaning they can change our health and our relationships for the better. How many times have you heard people say, “I like animals more than I like people” There is a reason for that and I believe we should all take a closer look ...

This is a fairly new lesson I’m learning with the help of this unpredictable completely crazy world we’re living in right now. Every day we hear terms like, unprecedented, challenging, turbulent, and unmatched, I could go on but I think you catch the drift.

It's been a ride that just keeps getting crazier and crazier. Just when you think something crazier can’t possibly happen, it does. I question nothing now and if someone said there's been a bird zombie outbreak, I’d be like, okay, what else you got, bees that electrocute us, no problem, I got this. 

The truth is though, that I don’t. This is a lot and the weird underline stress of it all wears you down. This is where my new lesson comes in. How do I hear about all this craziness but still stay sane and on the path I want to be on, how do I stay positive through the world drama? How do I keep myself healthy and as happy as possible? Good question right?

Well I have some suggestions, but I’ll be the first one to admit, It’s a wo...

I have to say, the last 3-4 years of my life have been interesting, to say the least, and if you would have told me that I was going to go down the path that I went down there is no way I would have believed you. 

I retired from a career, started a business, lost a business, and started another business. My friend group has completely changed and is a whole lot smaller and more intimate. 

My relationships with my kids are even more amazing than they were and keep getting better.

I’m happily single and really enjoy being by myself. I never thought I would say that. 

Some of my blood family members have been completely removed from my life, ..for the better. It's been a crazy ride to put it lightly. 

I have to acknowledge though It has been really hard, devastating. Blindsided is also a good word. 

I also somehow know to my core that it's all the right path. 

While it's happening though, it just sucks. You can’t help but think, why is this happening to me? 

I talk about this stat...

Last night I had a night. One of my dogs, Max, was up all night pacing. He was upset about something? I believe it was the incoming thunderstorms. I have 2 dogs, Max & Millie. Both Golden Doodles, both adopted. Max is high maintenance, reckless, and keeps you guessing about everything type of dog and Millie is well trained, sweet, loving, and hyper as a 4yr old that just drank a large red Slurpee from 7-11.

So I did not sleep at all or you could say I was in and out of sleep and I kept having some really crazy dreams. I felt like I fell asleep and woke up a thousand times. Every time I woke up I got a message and it was the same each time. The message was, What you did to get where you are now is not going to get you where you want to go. 

Hmmm, what the heck do I need to do then? 

Well, let’s start with the fact that I’m proud of myself. I am proud because usually when I get a cryptic message from my higher self, my intuition, I don’t pay attention. Well finally, at the age of, Flo...

There have been many times in my life that I’ve entered that dreaded stuck phase. It usually starts with you not realizing you're stuck, then you start to get frustrated, and me, I get cranky, then I get to the point where I just cry. I sometimes skip past all the phases but most of the time I work through them and it’s because of this one thing. 

FEAR

The worst thing about fear is that it's the first thing our brain goes towards. I’m pretty sure this is meant to protect us but a lot of the time, we get stuck, frozen in time. We keep going through the motions of our life in the phases I talked about above until we’re so uncomfortable that we have to do something. 

As this is my new series of essays about living life on my terms. I’ve decided that from this point forward I’m going to take drastic steps to keep moving forward. Become more aware when fear gets a hold of me and take a leap forward embracing this fear. 

I actually know as a coach that almost always on the other side of ...

In a world with so many what-ifs I've decided to be sure about how I will live my life and today I wanted to share some of my thoughts with you. 

Starting with, just eat the ice cream and enjoy it. Stop saving everything for later or when. Use the good china, the good perfume, make-up, that awesome outfit, the nice shoes. Stop saving it for a special occasion, enjoy it now. Treat yourself the way you treat your house guests, do this every day! Take the day off, take the vacation, even if it’s alone, do it now, and stop waiting for someone else. Spend some money on yourself, give compliments, say I love you, ask them out, tell them you admire them, and don’t tolerate bullshit or bad behavior. Stop making excuses for others' bad behavior, and stop apologizing for your existence, you’re allowed to take up space, learn that thing you always wanted to learn, and you’re never too old or young. Fuck society's expectations, fuck the patriarchy, you’re never too much, stop muting yourself to m...