Are you Experiencing Burnout? 3 Ways to Tell & When to Get Help

Have you ever wondered if the stress you were experiencing was just a little too much? 

I know I had this pivotal moment in my life when I was in my late 30’s. I was newly divorced, raising 3 kids by myself, I was isolated from my family, and I was working a high stress sales job that I hated. 

Also, leading up to my divorce, my partner was absent, not really participating and sometimes away for 3 weeks out of a month. The only participation was a paycheck. 

So, the stress was there for a while and got significantly worse after the divorce just because it’s impossible to raise 3 kids by yourself. Now I had some really good friends that were very helpful, but it wasn’t enough.

There was a 6 year difference between my oldest and my younger two because of two miscarriages I experienced in between that were devastating but the age difference was tough.

My oldest played almost every sport and so I spent a lot of time in the car and on the field watching and waiting. I remember packing a six pack of bottles, snacks, and a crazy amount of stuff just to keep busy. I remember the little ones falling asleep on the bleachers. 

I did all of this while selling real estate. I hated the job, but what was great about it is it allowed me to be with my kids. They did not have to go to daycare. I did have a few amazing sitters. But for the most part, I was around and I’m so grateful I was able to do this. 

So, I was under an enormous amount of stress. 

My thought that always came up in my head though was, I’m young, I’m very fit, I eat pretty good, all true. But that's all that was true and you think it would be enough, but it wasn’t. 

I did have signs I ignored though and I want to share some of them with you because they were subtle and I was healthy, but I did not take care of my stress levels, at all. 

Sometimes, at the end of the day, after work and school, and dinner, and then out the door to a sports practice or event. We would get there, and I would sit still for the first time that day and I could feel my whole body just shake. Like a small tremor. You could see it too. It would freak me out. It scared me and it wouldn’t stop until I went to bed and slept. So, the next morning I was fine. 

This is not normal, and I should not have ignored it. This was a sure sign that I was at some kind of a point of no return. 

I want to point out that everyone responds differently to exhaustion and stress and what I experienced might show up completely differently in your body. My point is it was subtle and a little bit scary but easy to ignore. Symptoms may be small, but they might lead to something very big.

I’m not trying to scare you; I’m trying to make a point. Don’t ignore any symptoms. 

The next mistake I made was thinking that because I was young, very active and physically fit, and ate fairly healthy, I thought I was protected. 

Surely, I should be okay, people don’t drop dead at my age…usually.

Just because you're scoring high in the other healthy lifestyle departments doesn’t mean you can ignore one and still be okay. Your health is a sum of so many different things and we need to create the space for ourselves so that we can check in every once and a while and see what we need, and ask, what is not balanced. 

Another thing I noticed was I could be very short at times and my emotional responses would all be exaggerated. So, I would get angry easily, and cry easily. 

This was so frustrating because I would cry in situations of frustration and some of these times it was inappropriate. For example, during a house purchase negotiation. 

These also little clues that I should not have ignored but did. I thought, I’m just a passionate emotional person. But when it starts to interfere with relationships and your career then maybe it’s time to get some help. 

The last weird sign that I didn’t think was a sign was I became forgetful of important things. I was so stressed and overloaded that there was no space left in my brain to function. At least this is what it felt like. 

I would forget things like, my mom's birthday, my best friend's kids' birthday, appointments at work even if they were on my schedule, and even very special events for my kids. It got really bad. I would double and sometimes triple book myself and then in a panic try to figure out how I would do it all. 

I thought I was just a busy lady. I would say to myself, maybe I’m just not good at anything, maybe I just can’t do this. 

Now I know, no one can do what I was doing, it’s physically impossible. But then, I judged myself, was hard on myself and this spiraled my self-confidence into the shitter. 

But this is a sign not to ignore, I was overloaded. My capacity levels for more “doing” “thinking” were full and there was no more I could take on. 

So to recap,  the 3 signs:

• The weird symptoms in my body.
• My exaggerated emotions.
• My extreme memory loss.

As I said earlier, everyone is different. So, these signs might manifest differently for you. The key is to check in with yourself every day to see what you need and to practice self-care. 

Now there is surface level self-care, the bubble baths, the mani-pedis, and there is deep level self-care. Boundaries, managing your emotions, decluttering the mind, space, and processes, etc. I have 11 that I focus on, and I talked about these on my 100th episode, HERE.<<

Also to learn more about the difference between surface level and deep level self-care, listen to this episode, HERE. Both are important and needed.

This is where you start if you need help. Be intentional about yourself care. 

Now if you do all these things or you feel like you just can’t manage, it might be time to get into some counselling. This has definitely helped me at times, and you can do both and have really good results. 

The pivotal moment for me was, I did nothing, I kept going, I had no one telling me to take care of myself, everyone just said this is how it is, suck it up. 

I had a vertebral dissection at 39 that led to a stroke and a blood clot going into my brain. My body said enough and made me rest. It took me a full year to completely recover.

Now, I know the price of not paying attention and caring for myself so I’m VERY intentional about my self care.  It is now my mission to help as many women as I can do the same. 

Xo, T

P.S I have a really cool Masterclass coming up where I will share a tool with you so you can see if you're out of balance and show you how to maximize the results of yourself care.

I'll also share how to move forward, be intentional about your time, and thrive in your life. This is an intimate experience with limited spots so if you want to be a part of it sign up HERE.<<