Tina 00:00:00 I believe that feeling stuck is just a symptom of being out of alignment with yourself. Maybe you've grown or changed in some way. This is good. Growth and expansion is just a part of our human experience. So if you're feeling stuck right now, then this is just a sign that your life needs a small adjustment in some way. And that may be right now, you just need to do a little bit of detective work to find out how to redirect yourself. Today on the podcast, I am going to be sharing with you six steps to rediscover your joy and meaning in your life. Let's get into it. You are listening to the Soul Aligned Self-care podcast. I'm your host, Tina Stinson, and I had a stroke at the age of 39 from stress and burnout that shook my world. Now I'm laying it all out. The deep level self-care practices and mindset shifts that I needed that kept me healthy, balanced, and thriving. Join me in this intimate space as we explore healing, resilience, and the soul's journey to alignment.
Tina 00:01:15 This is where real conversations about deep level self-care happen.
Tina 00:01:19 Let's get into it.
Tina 00:01:27 Hey guys, welcome back to the Soul Aligned Self-care podcast. Today I am talking about six steps to rediscover joy and meaning in your life. And before I get started, I just wanted to share with you a special that I have going on for the soul aligned Self-care insiders. We have a seven day free trial on all the tiers and also 50% off your first month. Now you could also follow along for free. So if you just want to be a part of the community, there's definitely a lot of stuff over there on the free tier that you could join. So one of the things, when it comes to the soul line, self-care insiders is it's on a Patreon platform. And I really love this platform because it's really it's not like social media. You you download the the Patreon app on your phone, and the only thing that you're going to see is the people that you follow on Patreon, and there's no ads or anything like that.
Tina 00:02:28 So I like using it for myself. I follow the people that I want to follow over there, and when I want to check in with them, I just go over there and I check in with them. So that's one of the things I like about it. The second thing I like about it is in my group, the insiders, I separate stuffs into different categories. And so I have like the meditations, I have the journal prompts, I have the podcasts, the blog posts, anything like that. So everything's separated. So if you want to go there and you just want to listen to meditations. You could just hit that category and you'll have every meditation that I've downloaded from the beginning. So you have access to a lot of meditations. And same goes for the blog posts, the, the podcast episodes. So it's really you have a lot of control over the content that you look at. So it's really cool. The soul aligned self-care insiders over on Patreon is more than just a community.
Tina 00:03:23 It's a support system. And over there, I'm dedicated to helping you reduce stress, cultivating calm through intentional, soul aligned self-care practices. So we don't just do surface level self-care, we do do that. That's just as important. But we also go beyond the surface level routines. We delve into mindset shifts and empowerment and holistic growth and health. We create a place where everyone feels supported and understood on their self-care journey or their healing journey. So as I said, you said, you could follow us for free, or you could join for as little of as. Like a less than actually a cup of coffee each week. So you'll find the link in the show notes. As I said, we're running a special seven day free trial so you can come in and look at everything. And then also 50% off your first month. Okay guys, let's get into today's episode. So as I said, I'm going to be sharing six steps with you today to really help you step into your purpose. So as far as titles go.
Tina 00:04:30 Title of the podcast, Six Steps to Rediscover Joy and Meaning in Your Life. Because I really, truly do believe that your purpose is really just you following your joy. So if you wanted to like, really, really, really simplify, you know, finding your purpose in life, if you feel like you're stuck or not aligned with what you're doing right now, it's really about following what makes you happy and doing more of that. It's that simple. But I think what makes it difficult for a lot of people is that they've been doing things that they don't enjoy for so long, and they have all these expectations, whether they be family expectations, societal expectations, whatever it might be. They've been living into those expectations and not really aligned with themselves for so long that they really are having trouble finding their way back to themselves. And so that's really what this is about. So I can simplify it and say, follow your joy and do more of that every day. And it's that simple. But if you need help reconnecting to what that is, then that's what this episode is all about.
Tina 00:05:33 Hang out with me for a little while, and I'll go through each one of these six points. And this is just the beginning, because next week, I'm going to be covering even more ways that you could step into this. This is kind of just the first half of what I want to share with you. So the first thing that I really want to talk about is, finding knowing what your starting point is. So I always say that to get unstuck. It's like you have to set a GPS. And I do a lot of this work and most of my programs and with my private clients. So what do I mean by it's like setting a GPS? You need to know what your starting point is and where you want to go. And the steps in between actually don't really matter right now. So if you are in New York and you wanted to get to LA, you would put those locations into your GPS. I know a lot of us, don't use an actual GPS anymore. We use our phones or apps or different things like that.
Tina 00:06:37 But just as an example, and you're going to put those locations in there and then it's going to spit out some directions and you would follow these directions knowing full well that there's roads that can be closed. There might be construction that's going to slow you down, And some of the directions might even be wrong. I mean, we've all been there. Right. We're driving. We don't know where we are. And it's telling you to go someplace and you know what feels wrong. But you follow it anyway. And then you have to do all these U-turns, and we've all been there. Right. So you have to redirect yourself. Right? And we have to do that in real life too. Right. And the GPS is going to change a little bit and it's going to give you different directions, but you're going to keep moving forward towards your destination. So life is so similar to this. So even when we know you know where we are right now. And if you're reading this, I'm thinking you're not you know the happiest about that right now.
Tina 00:07:38 You're not completely content with where you're you're at right now. And then you also might also know where you want to go. Okay. And if you don't, there's ways to figure that out too. And I can cover that later. But, there's going to be quite a few hiccups along the way. We all know that. It's just part of the journey. And if we accept that in the beginning, it won't. It won't be perfect. It's not going to be perfect. It's not going to go as planned. Then you could actually put that aside and actually enjoy the expansion and the challenges and the things that you learn along the way. And that's really what life is all about. We do, however, need to have an idea about where we're starting off and where we want to go. So today, the number one is to start to learn more about where you're at. And I'm going to give you a few questions that you could ask. Okay. So, now if you're listening to this right now and you're driving, just come back to it, like, listen all the way through, and then come back to it and maybe do the journal.
Tina 00:08:38 There's going to be journaling. Journaling journaling exercises. Can't talk right now. so just come back to it and do the journaling also. I do have a journaling book like a download. It's a PDF Half of a year worth of journal prompts covering different topics for each month, so I'll put a link to that also in the show notes, if you like journaling, it's really a great tool to have for the year, for empowerment and being able to move forward. So that's another thing that you could use, including the insiders that I talked about at the beginning. But also this book is, has really, really good journal prompts. And as I said, each month has a different topic, so it's kind of cool. Anyway, so let's get into it to learn more about where you're at right now. So ask yourself the questions. What feels out of alignment in your life right now? So just think about what you're doing on a day to day basis, and maybe write down all the things that you think that really aren't aligned with exactly where you want to be.
Tina 00:09:45 ask yourself the question, what activities drain my energy? And if you're saying to me, yeah, everything drains my energy. Then you might just need to make a lot of changes. But one of the things you can acknowledge is you don't need to make them all at once, that you could just make one small change, and it would probably make such a big difference in your life. So don't focus on the enormity of some of the things that you want to do in your life. Just focus on the fact that you could make small changes and make a big difference in the way you feel. The next question is what are you constantly avoiding? Pay attention to the things that you're procrastinating and avoiding, right? What feels stagnant in your life? Where do you feel stuck when you're stuck? Just like I said at the beginning, I feel like it's just a symptom of you being out of alignment with what your self, your soul, your whatever you want to call subconscious knows you're supposed to be going in a different direction and that's why you're stuck.
Tina 00:10:45 Your subconscious and your soul is pulling you one way, and life is pulling you in another way. And that's when you get stuck. So another journal prompt that you could use is to describe your current life in great detail. I go through everything, the people you hang out with, where you live, what you wear, how you show up, and then write out what you would like to change. And if it's everything, then it's everything. But have fun with the exercise. Like dream big. Just like, accept the fact that anything is possible if you create it for yourself. So describe your current life and then write out what you would like to change about that and and write it in great detail. Moving on to number two revisiting past joys so the past holds clues to the things that light you up inside. And when you're feeling really stuck and you're trying to find your way back, like I said to that person, that, you know, was there somewhere. This is something that you could do.
Tina 00:11:50 So I do this in my. I have a free ebook that I offer. I'll put a link to that. There's going to be a lot of links in the show notes. It's called The Ultimate Guide to Getting Unstuck for good, and I'll put a link to that. You can grab a copy of that for free. And I talk about a lot of these steps in that book. So I want you to think about all of your past experiences in your life. So like when you were a little kid, what you can remember a teenager, all those different phases, your 20s, your 30s, 40s, 50s, I don't know how old you are 60, 70, 80, 90s or whatever. Just like think about all those different stages because they're all so different. And, you know, like, like for me, it's like when I was married, after I was married before I was married before kids, after kids. Like all those different stages. What brought you the most joy during those stages where when you were doing these different practices or activities, where did time seem to like stand still? a lot of times we will see some things pop up over and over again, like if we look at all these different stages.
Tina 00:12:58 For me, it helps to like write it down, because then you could really, like not just like mentally go through it, but can physically or like you could see it on paper, you know. So the exercise I think that I do in the book, or I've definitely done this with my clients, is just like writing it all down and then circle the things that are like, repetitive and in common with each other. You keep seeing the same kind of activities, practices, topics come up because these are the clues, right? So when you're lost and stuck and you've been lost and stuck for so long and you really don't know where you want to go, that this is a really great way of trying to find some ways to figure that out. Reconnecting with yourself. So, for example, when I was a kid, I'd love to be in nature. I loved going to the beach. I lived on an island, and so the beach was very close. No matter what direction I went in, I spent a lot of time on the beach like a really.
Tina 00:13:56 I lived on the beach. I didn't actually live on the beach, but I spent most of my time there, even when I was little, digging in the sand. I remember just being covered in sand, having like being a little kid and like going in and out of the water and just having like a load of sand in my bathing suit. I know there's people out there that can relate to this. and just having sand stuck to me all the time and eating, like, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and having sand in your sandwich, just being, like, totally immersed in the sand, which is a nightmare to some people. I know that, but I would get so into it. I was just, I was I mean, some people would say that I was dirty or filthy, but I just loved it. And now, like, you know, I'm in my 50s now, I love gardening, I get really dirty and I just don't care. Like even I know there's plenty of people who garden and don't get dirty.
Tina 00:14:50 But I actually do farming too, and I feel like there's no way to not get dirty. But I don't really care. Like I just will sit down in the dirt. I actually think it's good for you to ground. I think it's. I don't know, it's just really good to get your hands on the dirt. So, anyway, I am always totally immersed in the dirt or the sand or the water or whatever it might be. And when I do these things, times seems to like stand still. And it's just so satisfying. And I'm so content in those moments. And so those are just two clues I'm sure I can come up with so many other things where I'm like in nature. That's one of the most important things to me. So while these two things are not exactly alike, they're very similar, right? So these would be two things I would circle and be like, yeah, these are similar things. You know, I like my house plants. I like, You know this.
Tina 00:15:48 I like growing my vegetables, I like flowers, I like growing trees like. So there's like, so many things. So as an I can give you an action step for the number two is, because I'm all about taking action and moving forward, not just listening to this podcast, but like doing something. So how, when and where can you add some of these things that you come up with when you do this work? like, how could you add them back into your life now? Because this will like begin to like stir the pot a little bit. So when you're stuck stirring the pot helps you get unstuck. It might not be the perfect solution or the perfect what you would call your purpose in life, but it will create movement and fun. And as I said at the beginning, following your joy is your purpose, so you never know. It might be the one thing that you want to spend your rest the rest of your life doing, but it also might just be something that you do every once in a while for fun, but either way it gets you unstuck and stirs the pot.
Tina 00:16:51 So number three, very similar, but a little bit different. Find what lights you up inside and that creates flow. This flow thing that I talked about a little bit in number two. So flow happens when you're fully immersed in something that aligns with your true self. And as I said I talked a little bit about it. I talked about how like time seems to like standstill. Sometimes it passes really fast. So when you're in flow you don't notice time. And it could either be like you could be in like a trance and doing something you love. And then when you lift your head up and you, you return, like to real life. sometimes a whole bunch of time has passed and you're like, Holy shit. I didn't realize, like, how much time passed or sometimes. And I love it when this happens. It feels like you've been doing whatever you're doing forever. Like you're sure it's like dinner time, and then you lift your head up, and it's only been like a half hour.
Tina 00:17:48 So it's like you just lose that sense of time. And I just I love it when that happens. Like when it feels like I gained time. Because I feel like I've been spending my whole day doing this and I've been having so much fun. And now only a half hours pass, and I get to do it for God knows how much longer. It's. I feel like that's the best scenario, but it's also kind of cool when you're in that zone and time passes, but a lot of time passes by really fast. So either way, that's like when you're in your zone. So when you're doing something you love, it's it will also not only put you in this state where you don't notice time, but also energize you. It lights you up inside. It makes you feel excited. You don't get tired as easy when it's something you don't like. You feel drained. You can feel like you could be wake up in the morning feeling great, and then you start doing this activity and you automatically feel like you could just fall asleep, right? So you have to be really intentional about paying attention to how you feel when you're doing certain activities.
Tina 00:18:52 Because we subconsciously go about our day just going through the motions all the time. We've been trained to do this from when we were young kids in school, right? I call this writing the Hamster Wheel. So you need to hop off the hamster wheel and start paying attention to your actions and asking yourself along the way what feels good and what doesn't, what energizes me and what makes me feel exhausted and drained. So here's another journaling exercise that you could do. So ask yourself, what do I feel drawn to explore that excites or intrigues me? And just write out everything that you can come up with, and then go through each one of those things and feel into it, into your body. Pay attention. Maybe close your eyes how your body feels and ask yourself, is this a hell yes? Because if it's not a hell yes, then it's a hell no. So what's a hell yes. And what's a hell now? And then maybe if you want to take an action step, just like, you know, number two, you could add some of that into your life somehow.
Tina 00:19:55 Okay, put it on your schedule. Make it happen. Number four, love yourself unconditionally. Self-acceptance is the foundation for growth and purpose. This is something that I struggled with for a long time, and still to this day, I have to work at it being intentional because it doesn't always come completely natural to me. One of the best ways I practice this I practice like self-love and deep level self-care, is by asking myself the question, when I'm in any situation, it doesn't matter what the situation is when you're handling a situation. If this was my best friend that was in this situation, how would I support her? What would I say to her? How would I talk to her? how would I tell her to start supporting herself like I was if I was telling her what I thought she should do? What would I tell her? and then do these things for yourself. Talk to yourself the same way that you would talk to your best friend. It really calls you out because you realize how much you slight yourself on a daily basis.
Tina 00:20:54 Start treating you like you would treat the people you love in your life, at the very least, right? You should really be putting yourself at the top of that list, because when you show up for yourself in this way and take care of yourself at this deepest level, then you get to show up for all those people that you care about as this, you know, enhanced version of yourself or supported version of yourself or well-rested version of yourself. So why wouldn't you put yourself at the top of this list? So I always thought that this was like a really cool way to return to, like, self-love and self-care. It's just by asking yourself that question, if this was my best friend, how would I support her? So when you do and then like, it's not going to be perfect, right? So when you do see yourself like judging or having some negative self-talk come up, correct it immediately like don't let it slide. So like, just like if one of your good friends said something really nasty to you, like, would you let it slide? Or would you just like, call them out immediately? Like, this is how you're going to respond to yourself.
Tina 00:22:01 So, one of the things I say in my head out loud is cancel or delete, whether it's negative self-talk or I'm thinking negative about a situation like I'm doom, I'm doom that doom scrolling. But like doom imagining things in my head, we all do this, right? So like, call it out immediately, cancel, clear, delete. And then I'll say something more positive. I'll like like just backpedal a little bit and replace it with something more positive, or think of something more positive. And I learned this from a good friend of mine, Christine Clifton, who was also a coach, and it just really stuck with me. I like it, it like flows out of my mouth really quickly. Cancel clear delete cancel Clear. Delete. Okay. So repeat after me. I am enough exactly as I am right now. Number five embrace authenticity. Now, this word I feel like has been overused, especially last year. But, I'm going to use it anyway because I don't really know another way to say this, but when you're living in alignment with your true self, it unlocks your purpose.
Tina 00:23:12 Okay? It automatically just comes out. So pay attention to when you're wearing like a mask. You're pretending to be something you aren't. You're muting yourself, your personality, or acting a certain way to make others feel comfortable or to avoid some kind of a conflict. Sometimes even because you're afraid of losing a person or not being a part of a friend group or, you know, just a community or whatever. You're afraid of being ostracized, afraid of being an outcast in a certain situation. So one of my favorite quotes, and I had to look this up because I didn't remember it. But when I looked it up, it said the quote is by Penny Reed, but it says you should not have to light yourself on fire in order to keep someone else warm. And I always love this quote because it's the perfect it's a very vivid, visually. You know, when you think about it. So, you know, if somebody else, somebody was cold, would you light yourself on fire to keep them warm? Obviously the answer is no.
Tina 00:24:13 So, like, you shouldn't have to mask yourself or mute yourself or act a certain way in order to get somebody or a group of somebodies to like you. So when you when you start to allow yourself to step into who you're meant to be, the true self, you are living, you know, you're living a true expression of the puzzle piece that you are in the universe. So think of each one of us as a puzzle piece. And when we when we show up as that exact puzzle piece, we fit into this greater, this greater puzzle. And everything all flows so nicely when we're all just showing up how we're supposed to. So there's no one else like you. No one can do what you're meant to do in this world. So it is your job, I would say your responsibility, your purpose to show up as you to show up as that one puzzle piece. Because if you show up not as that, then you're not going to fit. You're not going to fit into the flow of things.
Tina 00:25:15 Right. This is so much easier anyway. So being yourself is so much easier because when you're living a lie, and I'm not saying that you're actually a liar, I'm just saying you're not living as yourself, so you kind of are living as a lie. It's a lot of work to show up as someone else. But when you're being you, it's easy because it's just you. You don't have to try to do anything. You don't have to try to be any way. You're just you. So you're in flow. You're showing up as you're a puzzle piece. You get carried along with all of the other authentic puzzle pieces. and it's much less work and more fun. So you'll have more energy, less stress, less anxiety, and a lot more fun. But to address the thought of losing people in your life, if that's like a fear and that is just human nature, we all fear that none of us want to be ostracized. It's part of our survival. We're meant to be in a pack, right? So we're that's it's part of our survival to want to be to fit in.
Tina 00:26:14 Right. So it's really hard to go against this. But if you do lose people from being yourself, then they most likely weren't meant to be in your path or in your life in the first place. They're not aligned with your true nature. They're not to be not meant to be next to you in the puzzle. They're like they're in the opposite corner or something like that. And when you show up as you, the right people will be attracted to you and the people who are not aligned will just slowly lose interest and fall away. There's no drama, like it doesn't have to be this big thing where you have to, like, have a big argument or any like a big, you know, event that happens where this person is removed from your life. Usually they just, like I said, fall away, right? It just kind of happens slowly. And as this is happening, all these new people that are totally aligned with you or coming into your life, sometimes the person you know yourself doesn't even notice.
Tina 00:27:10 So it's kind of it's kind of cool the way it works out. So another journaling exercise. Describe who you are when you're being your true authentic self. Like in great detail. Like how do you show up? What do you look like? What do you say? How do you talk? What are your favorite colors? Where do you live? Who are the people around you? And as you do this, what fears pop into your head when you start? Like, you know, describing yourself as this authentic person? What's popping into your head? Oh, I can never do that because this person would make fun of me. I would never do that because then I would, my parents would whatever, blah blah blah, fill in the blank. So, then write them all out and then ask yourself what? What would happen if I showed up this way anyway? Like, you really don't know. The truth is, we really don't know. And I want to just say, I've seen this happen many times with my clients.
Tina 00:28:05 You might be really pleasantly surprised. So the person you're hiding that your true self from, like the person that you're hiding your true self from, they might be hiding the same exact traits from you, and you're both using an enormous amount of energy to show up as you're not self. And then, you know, I've seen this happen so many times, and then you show up as yourself, and then they feel comfortable to show up that way. And then all of a sudden you have all these new things in common and you could both just relax and not use so much energy when you hang out with each other. I've seen this happen so many times. moving on to the next thing. Number six focus on progress, not perfection. So perfectionism keeps you stuck. Perfectionism is the killer of all dreams. Small steps forward. Create momentum and the wins that you need. And even if you don't have all wins, you can. It's easier to look at these things as lessons or places you need to redirect yourself.
Tina 00:29:12 Small steps and small wins create momentum. They create the momentum you need to keep going and stay inspired. So the focus should always be to move forward, even if it's just one tiny little step at a time. It's about progress, movement, and getting unstuck. No matter how small the step or movement is, we need to celebrate. So and I could say this with great frustration. Women specifically do not celebrate. Men don't seem to have a problem with this. Not all men, but women specifically. Never. Never celebrate. Especially their small wins. So from this point forward. Let's all just make a promise to each other. To. Celebrate ourselves and each other. Even for those small little steps. Raise each other up. Always build other women up. There is no competition. And you know why? Because we are all different. We're all different puzzle pieces, right? So let's start like this little gang of women and support each other unconditionally. Let's make this just the norm in life.
Tina 00:30:19 and I'm just going to go and say that this is a pinky promise, so you can't break it. It's it's one that cannot be broken. So from this point forward, we're all supporting each other and we're celebrating. And that includes ourselves. So repeat after me. Every step forward, no matter how small, is meaningful and should be celebrated. That's a mouthful. I do realize that. So this is just a start and a process of self-discovery and I would say adventure. Next week I'll go even deeper and share more about like core values, which are important. So like knowing where you want to go involves the core values, creating that vision of where you want to go, finding your support system, and also why it's so important to practice self-care whether it's surface level self-care, deep level self-care. It's a necessity and not a luxury until then. As I said, if you would like more support and a way to uplevel your self-care game, go deeper on some of these topics that I talked about.
Tina 00:31:23 Then head over to the soul aligned Self-care insider community. So in the show notes, I'll have a link to that. I'll have a link to the free ebook, and then I'll have a link to the journaling book. Okay, guys. See you next week.
