Tina 00:00:00 Today's topic. We're talking about something that I just love diving into, and it's about your different subtle energies in your body and helping uncover limiting beliefs or things that you feel are blocking you from being aligned with your true self. And so today's guest, Miss Sophie, specializes in helping people do just that. So let's get into it. You're listening to the Soul Aligned Self-care podcast. I'm your host, Tina Stinson, and I had a stroke at the age of 39 from stress and burnout that shook my world. Now I'm laying it all out. The deep level self-care practices and mindset shifts that I needed that kept me healthy, balanced, and thriving. Join me in this intimate space as we explore healing, resilience, and the soul's journey to alignment. This is where real conversations about deep level self-care happen. Let's get into it. Hello and welcome to the Soul Line Self-care podcast. And how are you today, Sophie?
Sophie 00:01:15 Thank you. Tina, thank you so much for the invitation. It's such an honor to be here and to be invited.
Sophie 00:01:21 And I always think with podcasts you have, which you've set up is such beautiful work and you do all the work and I'm allowed to come and sworn in and be a guest, and it's just so such an honor. So thank you ever so much. And yeah, I'm doing well. I'm excited to be here.
Tina 00:01:40 Oh, thank you so much. It's such a pleasure to get to meet all the people that I get to meet. And you're such a ray of sunshine. Your face just lights up the screen. So it's such a pleasure to be with you today. So to get started, if you could tell everybody a little bit about yourself and if you're comfortable sharing your journey of how you got into doing the work that you do.
Sophie 00:02:02 Yes. So, so my name is Sophie Runciman and I'm English originally. As you can probably hear, and I've spent most of my life living in either England or Germany, and I grew up bilingual, so and we moved to Germany when I was ten the second time, and that's when I went to a German school and talked English at home with my family.
Sophie 00:02:24 But, you know, just had this back and forth. and really, I think this back and forth and kind of in a way of being between chairs, you know, how you can be in between things neither wholly in one country nor wholly in the other. That's really marked my life. in general, it leaves, leaves marks, which, you know, it's just an an interesting observation of being able to look back over decades of my life and knowing that that really was, a very, very unusual way of being in the 80s. there weren't that many people moving around like like that, like there are today. That's true. So yeah. And so I basically grew up kind of half German, half English, moved to England, go to university. And and I had a very like a spiritual background, not because my parents were that interested in spirituality and religion, but I was. And so, that was from age, from very early on till about 20. Then I went to university and got just many different interests, many different distractions.
Sophie 00:03:32 And then I went into, the corporate world and kind of just started climbing the ladder. And I spoke three languages fluently and just was very motivated, always striving to do things well, which was my background, which I think a lot of women have, a lot of women really wants to do well for themselves. They want to look good. They want to, you know, do it, do things right. And so I had this corporate identity and and I hadn't realised how, how much energy focus and time was going into my work and not really into my life. and so, I, I often just look around the office at my colleagues and think, wow, look at us. We're typing frantically into our into our keyboards. What are we doing? And I just have these pangs of, of probably really seeing clearly, but they were just pangs. And I just push them aside and continue working and rushing. And there's always rushing and and so I reached about my mid to late 30s and I had this moment of, come on, when I'm 50, when I'm really old, which I love because I.
Tina 00:04:53 Yeah I know.
Sophie 00:04:56 And I thought, there's no way I have the energy when I'm that old to do what I'm doing now. Yeah, yeah. And, let's say I better maybe move into something which is more meaningful, which, you know, maybe away from corporate stuff. And I trained to become a teacher, so I went to Oxford. Yeah, I was invited to, to, you know, I was allowed to study at Oxford for the year and do my training. And so that was wonderful, moving back to England for a while. And, and I did teach for a couple of years, only to realise it was even more frantic, even more fast paced, even imagine, you know, and I think teachers, they're just I mean, incredible. Yeah. Especially the what they do. And I always believe that to be a great teacher, you have to have that vocation. And so while I loved many things about teaching, I didn't feel I had that vocation. Really not Not in the school system as it is anyway.
Sophie 00:05:55 And so I just had decided to leave again, and then I moved into the luxury sector. I got a job offered in a luxury company, which was international. I was in the sales department there, leading the sales team, selling beautiful products, really like works of art, pens, jewellery, leather ware, watches. So it's really nice. It's all on the phone and online. And little did I know that this was priming my brain for high ticket coaching. because, you know, I wouldn't have necessarily known the connection between quality and high prices, but here I really learned to appreciate that brands and luxury, there is a place for it. I used to kind of look down a little bit, so I used to know people who'd be like sporting this name, and it has to be this bag and this car. And I say, oh, the brand names really matter. It's not important to me. But then I actually realized I was a little bit ignorant about it. And and then experiencing the luxury brand, was something quite pivotal for me.
Tina 00:07:08 Yeah.
Sophie 00:07:09 So is there for five years and really enjoyed it, led a great team of international people still working frantically. Like, really? Yeah, just kind of my trademark, but I had no idea I was blind to it. It was just high achieving doing my thing. But I was still I wouldn't really have felt successful, even though from the outside, I think people looked in at me and said, wow, she's doing really well for herself. But I didn't have a partner. I had no children, no family. I, my salary was okay, but it wasn't kind of up there. So, you know, there were things where I was kind of going, okay, I'm hitting 40 now. What is going on? What is happening? Why am I kind of not getting anywhere? And meanwhile people are passing by and the setting up businesses are having ten children and you know. Yeah, I'm married three times if you.
Tina 00:08:05 Want that kind of thing. Yeah.
Sophie 00:08:07 That's right, that's right.
Sophie 00:08:09 I actually never did want that. So but yeah, that's a different story. But you know, it's really this element of time and focus and energy and, and also really thinking I was doing the right thing. And, but then I was in my early 40s, I was in the luxury company, and I, I discovered NLP through a sales course and discovered NLP that I need to go down this route. And it was really more intuitive. it was just this feeling, I have to do this. And I did a qualification with this German company in German. And, while I was there, I met two other people, a man and a woman, who ended up finding a falling in love with each other and becoming a couple. We met together on this course, and, about a year and a half later, they called me and said, Sophie, we need someone to help us with our operations. We're making 100,000 a month now, and we know it's growing. And, would you come and set it up for us? I had a little bit set up, but I was kind of helping them move it forward.
Sophie 00:09:19 And their goal was to make $1 million a month. wow. Oh, yeah. It was big. And, so I decided at the age of, I think I must have been about 42 to leave my corporate career and jump into the coaching world and follow, follow my intuition. Although a lot of people said, wow, what are you doing? This is not the time to be leaving a corporate job. And there were some people who were kind of just going, wow, you're brave, You're brave. But no one, you know was really that kind of go, wow, that's amazing. You have to do it now. I just had this feeling that it would be amazing. Yeah. And this is where I noticed for the first time. So basically, I was supporting, coaches. So maybe 40 or 50 coaches at that time. I was the coach to help them through any blocks while they were setting up their online businesses and, and just do the operational side and in the background.
Sophie 00:10:16 And this is where I discovered that I loved coaches, I loved coaching, I loved the being surrounded by people who are wanting to make the world a better place, following their own intuition, more following their own desire. Yes, exactly. Yeah. With a purpose.
Tina 00:10:34 Exactly.
Sophie 00:10:36 That was really inspiring to me as well. And, and that's where I first had the experience of having more time. And it's not necessarily time. I worked hard still, but I was also doing more meditations and just taking time away from just focusing on work and realizing that there's actually a big part of me that wasn't getting any attention. And so this was really key. And one reason why I'm so grateful I left the corporate world, because I think had I not, I'd have probably reached retirement age before having this experience. It's really it's the most important thing in the world is to have focus on yourself and know what drives you and what your purpose is and and just have moments to connect as well.
Tina 00:11:32 You know, what I think is really cool about your journey is that even though, like the what you're talking about right now, you almost sound like, oh, I wish I would have woken up sooner.
Tina 00:11:43 But at the same time, when you look at your journey from from corporate to teaching and then high, high ticket sales, it's almost like it was preparing you for that moment, because those tools like teaching, the high ticket, the luxury brand, like being able to like, step into that and really know what it means, you know, was part of, like, your, your soul training, so to speak, to step into the role to help these coaches. So I think it's really kind of cool because when you look back in hindsight, everything played out perfectly, you know, in your life. And I love it when you could hear someone's journey and kind of like, see it, see it all played out. And so you didn't really, like, completely like wake up until you stepped into that role. But there were like these little pieces that you kept seeing along the way, that you kept guiding yourself in that direction and taking those steps and putting yourself into like, like outside of your comfort zone a little bit and, and really like I think it's just so cool.
Tina 00:12:52 That's why I love hearing about people's journeys. And I just feel so lucky being able to talk to people like you and look at all the common, the commonalities between women. I do talk to some men, but I generally speak to a lot more women. And yeah, and it's like all over the world from all types of different circumstances and different countries and different cultures. It's always this it's not the same exact journey, but it's very similar, you know, and interesting. It's very interesting and I absolutely love it. And what you said about working with the coaches, just being in an environment where almost every person that is around you has has some kind of a, very strong purpose. So, I meet a lot of coaches to. I don't, work with a lot of coaches, but I meet a lot of coaches through the podcast, and, they all have a strong purpose. You know, there's something that brought them to where they're at, and it's always super powerful and inspiring to listen to them.
Tina 00:13:59 Not to say that people in corporate aren't inspiring, I'm sure like people in corporate have dreams and goals, but they're not really stepping into them when they're at that place of work, you know? So you're not really seeing that side of them. You know, it's.
Sophie 00:14:13 Unusual, it's unusual. And I really think the time aspect is huge because now my work is is in this field. So my focus is automatically there. But before my focus was on getting sales numbers in for the month and seeing my team had what they needed and and thinking about presentations I had to do is very different. And that was pressure from the outside. And now there's different pressures that the field in general is is my field and I determine what it is. And it's I just love the freedom and I, I think entrepreneurs like like us and in general just have that high desire for freedom. Yes.
Tina 00:14:57 That's you know, that's the key. Like whenever I do, I do a lot of work with my clients where I'm like, let's figure out what your why is like, why do you want this? Because the stronger your why is, the more you're, the more success will have in reaching that goal or that dream.
Tina 00:15:13 And whenever I do my own, why? Like why do I want this? Like when I'm really, like, contemplating what direction I want to go into it, it's always ends up, pointing towards freedom in some way, shape or form. And I think that everybody deserves to be free. And so when you look at the corporate world, you know, I think part of what keeps people trapped into that world is the busyness, because they don't have enough time to slow down and really think to themselves, wow, what am I doing? Like? Am I doing anything that makes me happy? Am I doing anything that really like, is part of my purpose? Why I want to be here, you know, and some people do it for so long that they, you know, they wake up one day and then they don't even know who they are. You know, they they have they start to question, what am I doing? Happens a lot in midlife, you know. So it's like it's or something will happen.
Tina 00:16:06 A divorce, a separation, a sickness or whatever. Something changes in their life and they start to like really gain perspective on like what are their what they're doing in their life. And so I think it's, I think it's so cool when I meet people that have gone through this process. And I, I've noticed that recently, more and more people are just kind of like waking up to this, younger. And I like that, you know, because I would say it took me, I don't know, I've always been. I've always. You know, before I was a coach, I was a realtor, right? So I was self-employed. And I've always been that type of person. I've always been like, what kind of business can I start? I, I can't even count on two hands how many business ideas I've had, you know? And so I've always been that type of person. But until I got out of real estate, really, because real estate's very busy, you know, I, I didn't feel like an entrepreneur when I was in real estate.
Tina 00:17:08 I didn't feel like an entrepreneur. I didn't feel like I had the freedom until I started moving into my own business. So I think that's that's fantastic. So tell me a little bit about some of the things that you do, because you work a lot in energetics. And I think that's so important because I think really this is what we're moving into now. I think it's very important. all the aspects of coaching are very important, but I think energetics is left out sometimes and some coaching, and I think it's a huge portion of it. So let's talk a little bit about that.
Sophie 00:17:44 Yeah. So I love the topic of energy because really everything is energy. Everything. The world, the whole world, you and me, everything. And once I grasped this notion of what the energy is, the basis of everything. And I just realized that, you know, with us also being able to tap into certain frequencies, we do it whether we know we're doing it or not. It makes so much sense to become aware of which frequency we're tapped into.
Sophie 00:18:18 And and being being able to change that. And there's a book called Levels of Energy. I've forgotten the, levels, but I don't, unfortunately. I have the book in front of me, but not his name. Okay.
Tina 00:18:32 That's okay.
Sophie 00:18:33 There are lots of books with that name. So this is a specific author. I can, I can, send it later. And basically it's really all it's about is that he has, a concept where he shows, I think it's from 0 to 1000 and what it means to be an each number, what, what emotion is linked to it. I think, a lot of people listening to your podcast will have already heard of this. Yes. I couldn't.
Tina 00:18:58 I can't, I can't remember what it's called, but I think I was introduced, through oh, I can't remember who it was through, but yeah, it's like at the bottom, you know, like the the lowest energy is like shame, I think, or something like that. And then at the top is, I don't know, joy, love.
Tina 00:19:16 I can't remember which one's at the top, but there's like, love maybe.
Sophie 00:19:19 Yeah.
Tina 00:19:19 And there's so many in between. And I actually use that in one of my programs because, you know, it's really good to explain to people that you can't go from like the lowest shame to the top just like that.
Sophie 00:19:32 Right?
Tina 00:19:33 Yeah. It's better to focus on easing your way up, you know? Right. So yes, I think it's a really cool way to think about it.
Sophie 00:19:39 I agree, and I love this as well. And I've just remembered his name is Dodson. Dodson. Dodson. Okay. And what I loved about what he said, what he wrote is that, it's not necessarily aiming to be high up. It's just, you know, looking at where you want to be. And, and some people can be really academic and very focused, and that's a high, quite a high level. But they actually need to go down a little bit to let the hair down and have some fun and live a bit.
Sophie 00:20:10 So it really doesn't it. And if you're depressed then anger's actually a great thing. Yeah. So, so I really like this non-judgment aspect. And that's a very, very strong component of my work, which I never, ever thought I'm going to go out there and be non-judgmental. I never thought that once, but it's this feedback I always get from every single person I encounter, really, is that they felt very safe and very not not judged. And and so this is a huge part of my work. And talking of energy. I also get feedback that my energy is very healing, very soothing. It is people down.
Tina 00:20:50 Yeah. Like I said at the beginning, you're fairly lit up. You know, you could feel your energy immediately. Even though we're just talking on zoom. It's really you could feel that in another person when you're face to face with them.
Sophie 00:21:01 So yes. Yeah. Thank you. And and I, I for me it's a developing practice as well. You know it's it's or it's a developing awareness which is getting stronger and stronger in myself.
Sophie 00:21:14 And it for me, it shows in my arms or my torso that it just all starts tingling, getting on fire, just this pins and needles feeling even. Yeah. And and I have it, especially when I'm talking with somebody and they're trying to get clarity and they're saying something which has truth. So it's really like my body is speaking. And I can say, look, this is what I'm getting. And so I'm not a very, I'm not very esoteric. I don't know, I have a few crystals. I like my crystals, but they're very they're more because they're pretty. I don't really know what they mean.
Tina 00:21:53 Yeah, I know what you mean.
Sophie 00:21:54 And something gives me joy, and I. I mean, I love people who work with crystals, but it's not been my focus and my, you know, learning. Yeah. and also, I wouldn't call myself very woowoo. And I don't even like that that expression because it's like it's a bit belittling and it's not a choice.
Sophie 00:22:12 I agree. Yeah. but I, I would say everything in life is spiritual. We're all connected, whether we know it or not. And with the work that we do, we can use energy just by being who we are. and I have. I do have a practice which I love doing. And at the same time, I have to confess that when I was first doing it, I was thinking, does this really work? Does it ever actually doing anything because you can't see it, right? And I was like, clear and chakras know there are seven chakra points which I used to still do, but I haven't done it for a while. But when I do it with people, I clear, clear them, throw the bad energy out, let light in and the feedback was just amazing that people would be lying down in its remote. But I'd get them to lie down and I'd get their feedback. After half an hour, I'd send them mine and we would just be on the same page.
Sophie 00:23:09 And then we'd usually talk again the next day just to, you know, just to solidify things. And so this was really something that through practicing it, I realized, well, people really do feel it, that there really is something there. and say I am. I tend to be a little bit questioning, a little bit skeptical. But then over the years, I've just realized, yes, it really that really is something to it. Yeah. and so my work is is energetic and healing, but that's kind of a side effect. It's not something I don't really go out and say I'm a healer. Yeah. People told me that, you know, it comes over. You're a healer. Yeah. It does.
Tina 00:23:55 Into your practice.
Sophie 00:23:56 Exactly, exactly. And in a way, I think that's really beautiful when it happens that way, because there's no ego involved. It's just something you realize, there is this gift or this, this, expression that wants to come through and be expressed in the world.
Sophie 00:24:13 And really, this is what I help people do as well. When I work with someone, it's helping them express their voice, express what's in them and bring it to the surface. Because for many people it was the same on my own journey. And it still can be. Is that? I'm not really sure what. What's next? And for some people, by talking it through with someone who has this open, safe space and also has the knowledge, it's not something not just, anyone who's listening, it's someone who's actually from the that, field of work. you know, that there's this, like, a sounding board where you can get such clarity and get the feeling, the body sensation. Oh, yeah. This is this is it. And then if you have your own business and people tend to come to me when they have their own business. But I also have some corporate, ladies and, but they really get this very strong feeling and certainty and conviction. This is it. And then they can go out and sell at a higher price without feeling they're selling.
Sophie 00:25:21 Yeah. And that's what I love about it because I would never be the sales trainer who says, you know that they say this and you say this, and then they say this, and it's not how it works for me because it's just so, so energetic in the whole conversation. Yeah, I hope this makes sense.
Tina 00:25:39 No, it makes total sense. I, you know, would you say. I'm not sure if you agree with this, but one of the things that just came up in my head while you were talking is that the more that you step in to being connected with your true self and, like, accepting that and and allowing yourself to move through life feeling feelings, whether they're good feelings or bad feelings, would you say that that's when you really become so connected with yourself that you can start feeling these different energies and and working with energetics? Because I feel like some people are just so disconnected and they're they're not they're playing a persona of what is expected of them in this world instead of just.
Tina 00:26:23 accepting who they are as they are and moving into that, whether it's good or bad, whether they're feeling good or bad, just completely feeling whatever's happening in that moment and moving forward with that. I feel like the more I do that in my life, the more aligned everything feels and the more I notice those subtle energies. Yeah. Is that something? Is that something that you experience or how do you feel about that?
Sophie 00:26:50 So I feel, the person you described who is so disconnected, they have no idea. They have no idea. They're disconnected. You can see it.
Tina 00:27:00 I was loving.
Sophie 00:27:00 Them. Yeah. yeah. Me too. but in that moment, there's actually no consciousness about it. You just think this is the way life is. And. But a huge revelation for me was actually understanding what feelings are. because feelings. I kind of could always, I not always, but I learned to verbalize them, to say what it is. But it took me. It was like a huge moment when I realized that feelings are actually felt in the body.
Sophie 00:27:31 You can feel it somewhere and yeah, it comes through the body and, and and I also try and not label feelings as good or bad because all feelings are valid.
Tina 00:27:43 And that's a good point can.
Sophie 00:27:46 Move through you and in a way with such. We're so blessed to even be on this planet, to be alive and to be grateful for all feelings. I try to remember this when I'm having a feeling that's not so pleasant. Yeah, well, at least I'm feeling something. I'm alive and. Yeah, and then it already shifts a little bit, and. But it's not about pushing it away or anything. It's really about experiencing it, letting it through and that then it because because basically emotions only lasts for 90s. I read this somewhere. This research made that an emotion itself lasts 90s. And then it's done. Yeah. What we do as adults is that we think about it again and again and re-engage the the feeling, but actually it in theory it wouldn't be necessary.
Tina 00:28:31 Yeah. We I think we suppress it too which also prolong that.
Tina 00:28:34 We don't allow it. But what you just said was like a little bit of a moment for me because it's like, yeah. And being like, it's like, you know, I know this on some level. But then when you said it, I was like, yeah, I'm not doing that. You know, I'm thinking of feelings as bad and good and whatever, right? But when you think of it in a non-judgmental way, it'll help you move forward. It would help you accept them and move through them a lot quicker. Yeah. And so I would say that this is something that I could do maybe like 50% of the time. Like I'm not fully like, like stepped into this because sometimes I'm like, what is that feeling like? I can't even name it. And if you can't name it, I feel like it's almost like you're not fully like accepting it or stepping into it. It's like, where is that in my body? Where do I feel that? And I think it's like a process.
Tina 00:29:26 So I have to like kind of walk myself through it sometimes, but sometimes I am just in it. I'm just really connected.
Sophie 00:29:33 So yeah, I'm not I mean, I'm not saying I'm above this at all. It's just that and I think the key is, is in these moments to remember that actually we have tools or but also to live. You know, I'm really not not a proponent proponent of immediately jumping into how what can fix it and what can I do, because we also need to live without thinking, how am I doing this right? You know, because that's easy to fall into is can I get this right? And some things just.
Tina 00:30:04 Need to be.
Sophie 00:30:05 Need to be, and needs to be lived and not thought about.
Tina 00:30:08 I think there's a reason that we have these feelings that come up, and maybe there's a purpose for them and that trying to avoid or push down or whatever. All that does is cause all the issues that we're having, so to speak, you know, and, you know, so like not allowing yourself to grieve or not allowing yourself to be sad because, I always call it toxic positivity, you know, so it's like thinking that in order to, like, manifest all the things in your life and bring good things into your life, you always have to be positive.
Tina 00:30:41 But that's not true. Because if you're if you're blocking sadness and you're not allowing yourself to feel your feelings, that's just going to block everything, you know. And so it's so important. I call it allowing the pity party. That's what I call it allowing sadness.
Sophie 00:30:57 That's nice. Yeah.
Tina 00:30:58 And then I learned to do that. I don't know, it was a while ago because I used to just, you know, completely avoid anything like that. I don't have time to sit down and cry and feel sorry for myself. And then one day I was like, what if I just allow myself to have the pity party? What if I just say, okay, today is my pity party day. it's just funny because I was talking about this yesterday with another guest, so it's kind of weird, but it's like, what if I allow myself just this full day to cry? I just feel bad about everything, and, you know, just allow myself to feel it. And what I realized was that, my God, that you.
Tina 00:31:35 Once you're done, you're done. And then you're you're moved through it. But when I would kind of suppress it, it would stick around for like the whole week or so. And now I found that when I allow it, I move through it quicker. So I don't want to spend the whole day having a pity party, maybe an hour, you know, I don't need the whole day because I, you know, I just allow it. So I was like, this was an interesting practice that I started years and years ago, and now it's just so easy just allowing it. You know, I love what you're.
Sophie 00:32:06 Saying, and it's kind of part of self-acceptance. You know, self-acceptance is so important. There are these Words that we throw around like self-love and self-acceptance. what else do we have? awareness. Self awareness. There are key words in a way. But really, when you when you what you're describing that is the root of self acceptance is allowing it to happen to allowing it to be and not judging yourself for it.
Sophie 00:32:38 Yeah.
Tina 00:32:38 And it feels so much better. You think it's going to feel worse, but it feels so much better just allowing that, you know, it's just. Yeah. And I never thought of it that way as a self-acceptance. But yeah. Exactly. Because you're acknowledging. You're acknowledging it really. You know, when the other me would have not acknowledged it and maybe beat myself up a little bit like, you know, oh, yes. You know, why are you so weak? Why you just move through it, you know, pull up your bootstraps, you know, like all those things that people say. Yeah, you know, things we've been conditioned with. Yes, exactly. So I want to take, like, this screwy turn. And, because I told you before we started, like I was reading one of your posts, and I don't remember when it was from because I just kind of I like learning about a person before I kind of talk with them. And so I was like, diving into your Instagram and you talked about working with people who have repeating patterns.
Tina 00:33:33 And I think this is very interesting because I think a lot of people struggle with repeating patterns, including myself. But it wasn't until probably recently, maybe like in my 40s, that I even noticed I had patterns, and I felt like noticing it was like the first step, because before that I was just, you know, kind of reacting constantly to life and going through the same processes over and over. And now I'm more mindful about it and I'm like, okay, this is a pattern. What do I need to learn? What is this trying to teach me? How can I move forward better? So, what do you do when you work with women who have repeating patterns? Do they come to you after they notice the patterns? Or do sometimes you help them notice? Notice the patterns?
Sophie 00:34:17 Yeah, that's a really good question. So it's it's both. And some women know they have patterns. I'd say the majority assume they have patterns. They know the term. They know that they probably have them, but they're really part of their blind spots.
Sophie 00:34:32 So that's really a big thing that we look at. And how I like to explore blind spots is by asking my clients what rules they set up for themselves, at what rules do they have. And it's incredible the rules that come up. It's like, I don't know, I'm only allowed to take a taxi twice a week, or I'm allowed to go to a restaurant once a month or, just just limits or rules where you kind of think, wow, that's so interesting. And they're usually very different from anything I might have because they're so personal. and that brings up a huge awareness of which areas of life are they actually restricting themselves?
Tina 00:35:13 And interesting. Yeah, it.
Sophie 00:35:16 Really is interesting. And just this awareness alone can free up a lot because one thing is getting the rules clear and adding to them as we go on, and then is allowing yourself to break the rule, you know, so it's giving yourself permission to do something that's wildly different from how you'd normally allow yourself to be or how you'd normally act or do or.
Sophie 00:35:40 and so that that's one really fun part. It can be fun. It can also be very challenging and difficult. But it's really that. Yeah. And and I like to make these things as fun as they can be, because I really believe that life is meant to be enjoyed. And I'm not saying enjoyment as in just lying around and, and, you know, yeah, drinking wine or whatever. That's not my point at all. But it's really, it's it's enjoyed the sense of seeing the beauty and doing doing things which are good for you and challenging and then being proud of what you've done, that that kind of enjoyment. and rules. Rules can be helpful, but there are so many rules which aren't. And by seeing those out and which is, I find best done with somebody else, it's it's because on your own you can kid yourself more.
Tina 00:36:35 Absolutely. I feel like it's really hard to break out of patterns by yourself. I mean, you could become aware of them, I think, but breaking through them, you're just you don't always see.
Tina 00:36:48 You just don't always see it. Like you said, it's a blind spot. And so having that other person help you move through it is like key. It's. And it's so powerful. Yeah. you did say something that I've been really, really focusing on. As a matter of fact. You know how, like, when you start the year and you're, you know, thinking about your goals and your dreams and everything? I always think like, what is my like topic of the year? Which is really cheesy, but I like to have like a focus. And so my focus this year was about really being intentional, about having fun and bringing joy into my life, because I could be quite serious, especially when it comes to my business. I'm very I'm not serious when I'm hanging out with my friends or my family, but when it comes to my business, I'm so serious, you know? And I'm like, why? Why don't I bring that part of my personality into my business where I could be more fun and start bringing more joy and and it's really hard for me to break.
Tina 00:37:41 I must have some rules. Yeah. So like so it's really hard for me to, like, bring that fun into the business. So one of the things I started doing was intentionally bringing joy into, like, all the parts of my life that I could think of. And so I'm like, naturally, this is going to overflow into my business at some point and maybe it'll be easier for me. And so I really that was my focus this year. And one of the things that I'm starting to realize is, you know, I work with a lot of women who are, like, looking for what's my purpose in life. You know, they're feeling stuck, right? And one of the things I realized is that I feel like the purpose for all of us is just to enjoy our lives. It's the purpose is joy. Like the purpose, you know? And most people don't want to hear that, you know, but it really. So it's different for everybody. Because what brings me joy? I might not bring another person, you know, joy.
Tina 00:38:37 Like I love being in the garden. Some people might hate the bugs on the dirt. Right? So it's like you have to figure out what it is that brings that all that joy into your life. And that could be it could be a part of what you do for a living, which is absolutely fabulous. But usually it's not just that one thing. It's usually not really simple. It could be simple. It could be so simple. Like, my joy is having, you know, three kids and then raising those children. That's it. My joy is having my dog and, you know, go out in my garden. Whatever. Like whatever it is, it doesn't have to be like this. Like I'm going to solve world hunger or, you know, it doesn't have to be something like that. But I feel like, it's overlooked quite often this as our purpose because there's so many, like, social expectations. And we've been kind of pre-programmed that we're supposed to work, our butts off for like 40 or 50 years, and then we get, like, this small portion of our life to retire.
Tina 00:39:41 If any of us can retire or enjoy our lives. And when you say that out loud, when you speak it out loud, it sounds absolutely cuckoo. It sounds crazy. Like I'm going to just spend my whole life working, doing something that I might not enjoy most of my time. I'm going to spend more time working than I do with my kids. Like, it sounds crazy when you say it out loud. And so I feel like people need to be more aware of that so that they can start to refocus. And yeah, we all have to work. We're, we're we're stuck in this system that we're in right now. Right? We all have to work and make money, but how can we bring as much joy as possible? And I always say to people, it should really your your main focus should be joy, like your work. If that's not your joy, that should be like background music, okay, that's a necessity. You have to do it. But it's background music.
Tina 00:40:35 The focus of your life should be your joy. And so I think that that's a hard concept for a lot of people to wrap their heads around. How do you how do you feel about that?
Sophie 00:40:46 I totally agree, and I think my mom really helped me with this a long time ago, a must have been in my 30s and there was a job I was just moaning about. I hate my job. I don't know how I phrase it, but that's the kind of the tenor and, and my mom said to me back then, you you weren't. I don't know how she phrased it now, but it was the message was, you won't find a new job. If you're feeling this way about this job. Start finding things that you enjoy in this job and get that feeling better about it. And then you'll find another job.
Tina 00:41:21 What a nugget of information, really. How powerful?
Sophie 00:41:25 So powerful. And it really transfers to so many different to all parts of life, I believe, whether.
Tina 00:41:31 It's a.
Sophie 00:41:31 Relationship or. Exactly. Yeah. you know, because you can really be going through a tough time with your partner and, and if you try and focus on the things that you do love about him or her and, you know, just it changes, it shifts so much. And so that was something that I learned a long time ago, and it's really helped me over the years.
Tina 00:41:54 Yeah. And that's so powerful I love that. Yeah. What you focus on expands. So yeah, it's so hard not to focus on something when you're in some kind of a crisis. It's so hard to focus on the positive, but it really, really does work. And that's why gratitude practices are so powerful, because it really you could start really small. You could be like, I'm grateful, you know, that the sun came up today. I'm grateful. Like things that are just going to happen no matter what. So if you're in like the worst possible spot in your life, you can still be grateful that the sun came up.
Tina 00:42:29 You can still be grateful that you woke up today. You can be grateful that you have, your body, you know, even if it's not a completely healthy body. You have a body, you can move around, you're alive, you know? So it's like you could start so small and work yourself up. Because once you start focusing on all the positives, that's what your brain is going to automatically bring you closer to, you know? And so what a cool thing for your mom to say. Like, I can't, I can't stress enough that, the women that came before us have so much knowledge. And I feel like in the world today, it's overlooked too often. so I always like to emphasize, like, pay attention to the women that came before you because they know, you know, and this, you know, in society, I feel like there's not a whole lot of value on, especially older women, but just the, the elders generations. And I feel like it should be the opposite.
Tina 00:43:30 Like, those are the people with the most knowledge, the most experience. And, just listening to them. Sometimes you'll get nuggets like that that are just so important and so powerful. So like, I love that your mom did that for you. That's really that's so cool. I love that, and I have something else.
Sophie 00:43:48 my grandmother on she was coming up to her had a passing, so a few days before she passed and she she was 91 when she passed. And she said to my mum, just before she left, she said, Cecilia, enjoy life, enjoy your life. And really, that was her message. And on her deathbed. which is what we're talking about. Yeah. She she she just knew it in that moment, you know, maybe she already knew it before, but that's when she expressed it. And I just think, you know, if you think about what, what might your last words be? What? What is the last message you want to pass on to the person you loved most in this world? I think it's really quite profound.
Tina 00:44:30 Yeah, I do too, because I would imagine I don't really know what it feels like to be at that point in your life, but I would imagine that you have some really. It's you have a lot of clarity, a lot, you know, because there's there's nothing left, you know, so there's nothing left but that clarity and those words are so powerful. So, I think we're going to we're going to end the interview on that, on your grandmother's, your your grandmother's last word. Last, knowledge that she transferred on to your mom. Enjoy life. And so I'm going to encourage everybody that's listening today to enjoy their life and add little bits of joy into your life every single day. Start small, you know? So, like this morning, I always use this as an example. People are probably tired of me saying this, but one of my favorite things to do is have my coffee, sit in bed. I have this big picture window in front of my bed with my dog and just watch the sunrise.
Tina 00:45:26 It's just what's like, it's just what's better than that? It's like so nice, so present, you know? Beautiful. Do you have a do you have a little small tidbit of a thing that you do that just makes you happy? That's just very simple.
Sophie 00:45:42 I mean, think you have.
Tina 00:45:45 Time on.
Sophie 00:45:46 This, right?
Tina 00:45:46 Yeah. Put you on the spot. It just came up in my head. I'm sorry, but it's beautiful.
Sophie 00:45:52 I tend to be very, Intuitive just kind of on the in the moment. But I must say, I do love opening the balcony door ahead. I live, on the outskirts of a city near the river, but I can see the river from here. And I do love the first eye opening the door and just breathing the first air of the day, you know, I that's something I do like, I do, I don't do it every morning. But I do appreciate this feeling of, this new day, fresh air. It feels different somehow than the air in the evening.
Tina 00:46:26 Yeah. Oh, absolutely.
Sophie 00:46:28 And, so that's, That's beautiful. Yeah. Breathing. When I can, I go out and walk, but that's usually a, you know, sometimes, sometimes I do it, sometimes I don't. It really helps me when I do go out and just oh my god.
Tina 00:46:43 Yeah. Sam I love that I love that. So how can people find you. Where do you hang out and how can they connect with you?
Speaker 3 00:46:50 Yes.
Sophie 00:46:50 And what I'd love to do is post my, my handles. below maybe. Yes, I would definitely thank you. I'm on Facebook, on Instagram and on LinkedIn. On Facebook. My name is Sophie. Claire. Claire with her, I, and, that's that. They're probably the best, best places to find me. Okay. and and then you can really. If you want to speak with me, just send me a message, and we can have a quick, meeting on on zoom.
Tina 00:47:20 I think I met you on Instagram, and I, I did a session with you that was so beautiful.
Tina 00:47:26 And, that's how we got connected. And so I would encourage you guys to reach out to Sophie because she's just a beautiful, beautiful soul all around. And I want to thank you for just sharing your experience, sharing your story, and sharing what you do. And I want to thank you for the work that you do in the world, because it just makes the world a better place. So thanks for being a guest today.
Sophie 00:47:50 Thank you so much, Tina. It's been wonderful. Thank you.
