Tina 00:00:00 Hey guys, I have a special guest today on the Soul Aligned Self-care podcast. Her name is Jules Lamm and she is a Mastery Method certified coach. She loves working with ambitious, high performing females who feel burnt out, stressed and lost, and the constant doing. She also brings her experience in yoga, breathwork, meditation, fitness and nutrition, and she believes that love is the healing force and as her clients remove their own barriers to love, they feel empowered in their relationships, career and life. So let's get into today's conversation. You're listening to the Soul Aligned Self-care podcast. I'm your host, Tina Stinson, and I had a stroke at the age of 39 from stress and burnout that shook my world. Now I'm laying it all out. The deep level self-care practices and mindset shifts that I needed that kept me healthy, balanced and thriving. Join me in this intimate space as we explore healing, resilience, and the soul's journey to alignment. This is where real conversations about deep level self-care happen. Let's get into it.
Tina 00:01:23 Hello and welcome to the Soul Aligned Self-care podcast. Thanks for coming on. How are you doing today?
Jewels 00:01:30 I am doing fantastic. Thank you, Dena, for having me here.
Tina 00:01:33 Yeah, sure. If you could just like, tell everyone a little bit about yourself and maybe it would be great if you could share how you got to doing what you do for a living. That would be cool, too.
Jewels 00:01:47 Well, first of all, I love the name of your podcast, Soul Aligned, because the word soul or the concept of soul was not a part of my vocabulary for many years just to my own, upbringing. So I was born in Russia. and, like, spirituality or religion wasn't quite there when I was growing up. So and also because the style of life was demanding different actions and more like practicality and mind and fighting for survival and all of that stuff. So my development and journey to Seoul, which also one of the parts of my podcast name, which is so soulful and ambitious, and I guess these are the two that I am reflecting and these are the two, opposites are parts of my stories story.
Jewels 00:02:49 So I was known to be ambitious, goal oriented, determined, hard working So like all of those noble qualities for eating stuff and life and whatever else, goals in life. And that's where I was stuck because I didn't know any better. I wasn't really open for other things. I kind of heard things but wasn't quite receiving because I knew one way, and that is persevering, being disciplined, being consistent, being responsible for making a mistake and all of that. Right. So a lot of pressure, a lot of tension. But that was my map for operating in life. So and then my husband and I, we owned a business and that was a 24 over seven franchise coffee and donut franchise.
Tina 00:03:46 Wow.
Jewels 00:03:46 Because it was 24 over seven, not just, theoretically speaking, it was like physically we had to be open 24 over seven. Of course, like we couldn't work there 24 over seven, but when you call off at nighttime, you still have to go because you're the franchise owners. So it was quite a bit of learning experience.
Jewels 00:04:08 And when we opened I was just finishing my master's degree in organizational development communication. And I was like so you know book oriented. And I understood how to motivate people and all of that, except I had to scratch all of that and had to work with the people who we had to employ. And of course, they were quite, quite the teachers.
Speaker 3 00:04:35 Yeah I bet.
Jewels 00:04:36 So yes, I had to learn. And because we had a contract for ten years, so it was, I guess, a very pivotal moment that you had to learn, to learn to navigate through all of this craziness and people and customers and suppliers and the franchisor and all of that Plus husband and I working together and yeah, I'm the boss. I think he's the boss. So the other way around. And then the clients will come and the employees will come. No, no, no, you know, my husband says this. You say that. And it's like a lot of turmoil. Well, to make the story short.
Jewels 00:05:15 So at a certain point, I was just sick and tired of being sick and tired. And then yoga was very popular. So and I just, I guess, started my opportunity of searching for something else. sugar. However, when I came to yoga, I still was doing poses because moving up and down, that was my normal. and I know you're into yoga and perhaps your audience as well. So you're familiar with Shavasana, which you just lie down and do nothing. And my.
Speaker 3 00:05:49 Favorite part.
Jewels 00:05:51 Yes. But when you know one system and one operational, code. I was not ready for that. So I would literally my staff and I would leave and I'm like, I don't have time for this.
Speaker 3 00:06:06 I used to.
Tina 00:06:06 Do that too. I was there too. That's like a starting point. But I know what you're talking about it.
Jewels 00:06:11 That's great. So. Hello, friends. Yeah.
Speaker 3 00:06:15 Yeah.
Jewels 00:06:16 So, yeah, I did that for a while, and then, I started doing my teacher certification and then just kind of opening up a little bit more towards that mindfulness aspect.
Jewels 00:06:29 And then I, I think experienced three storeys of yoga. Certainly when you lie down there and feel all the support of the bolsters and pillows and everybody goes around you in giving your neck massage and whatever, but it happens and the body is just goes like, yes.
Tina 00:06:51 Yeah exactly. Restorative yoga. Yin yoga. Yoga nidra. Just fantastic. But things that I wouldn't have done when I was my old self, like you were, like, very driven. Go, go go kind of thing, but. Yeah. So healing. Right?
Speaker 3 00:07:07 Yes.
Jewels 00:07:08 Well, I wonder what your story is, of transitioning towards shavasana and actually liking it.
Tina 00:07:15 Yeah, well, it was it was very, very gradual and not very noticeable. But once I, started healing from, you know, I had I think you probably know I had a stroke. Did I tell you that? I think I told you that I had a stroke caused by stress. And so just trying to learn all these different modalities to help me keep my, to heal my nervous system and to keep my stress and anxiety levels lower, my cortisol levels lower.
Tina 00:07:44 And so, just gradually, you know, doing Shavasana, just trying to really focus on just being still and being present, which, you know, coming from where I was, you know, my skin would crawl at first to, to try to sit still the same, you know, but slowly and surely now I'm like, can we just do shavasana today? Because I'm tired, you know? So I was like, so it's like it was very, I would say years. It took me to like shift to that. And now I know it's equally as important to be able to rest the body as it is to push the body. But you have to have those moments of rest. And I learned that not from yoga. I learned that from running and training for like, you know, half marathons and marathons, because if you don't let the body rest, you actually weaken your system. You're not going to be a strong runner. So that's where I learned that lesson from. But that's how I did.
Tina 00:08:41 What about you?
Speaker 3 00:08:42 Yeah.
Jewels 00:08:43 That's interesting. So and I started I started to study body and biomechanics of body and all of that. So and that was a fascinating experience because when you study about the body, you suddenly notice and realize like it's not just mind, it's not that you just doing. And in the body, there are so many different systems, and all of those systems are still very much interconnected. In order for the whole body operate on that physical level and even allow us to wake up and do our stuff and work and show up in life. And I feel like we have so much going on against our bodies, like due to the culture and the marketing and all of that, that we always forget. Like we have an amazing, strong and powerful body. makes us do what we do Waking up, cooking, going to work, kissing, loving, whatever. And the main thing is that that's what I realized recently, and that's the quote that I got channeled, so to speak, from within.
Speaker 3 00:10:05 To get.
Jewels 00:10:05 Present. And when you think about things, that's what I realized. While I'm mind is making sense of life, our body is always sensing life.
Tina 00:10:17 Oh, yeah, I like that.
Jewels 00:10:19 And because of our body, we actually have an opportunity to experience life. And how we experience life is through emotions. But where do we feel them? In the body? And of course, I was one of those ambitious, high performing, achieving, goal oriented women who was disconnected from the body and the emotions. Because I also come from that time when emotions were not a good thing to have or show or whatever.
Tina 00:10:52 Yeah, yeah, just be quiet and yes.
Speaker 3 00:10:55 Yeah.
Jewels 00:10:55 Yeah. So yeah, you come from that culture too. But now I'm learning a lot more about emotions through my coaching and also working with other ambitious women. And I realized that this is the bridge, the bridge from understanding that it's okay to contract from like that nervous system response of fight and flight. But ability and resilience and our skills that we possess to help us shift to expansion, that's the key.
Jewels 00:11:31 It's not not ever experienced stress again or some sadness whatever. It's like how quickly you can be aware how quickly you can give your body what it needs and how quickly you can consciously shift to what you intentionally want to create in life or show up as in life. So that's the key to just always know that there are many police and systems and muscles and ligaments and all of that in the body, and all of that supports us if we let it.
Speaker 3 00:12:04 Yeah.
Jewels 00:12:05 Yeah.
Speaker 3 00:12:06 So that's.
Jewels 00:12:07 My.
Speaker 3 00:12:07 Answer.
Tina 00:12:08 Yeah, I agree with you completely because until you can be present with your intent, until you could like move through that process, like be present with the feelings that you're feeling and the emotions, and then be able to process them and respond to your life instead of constantly react. Right. So it's but it's like when I first started learning how to do that, because I was like in such a state of fight flight for so long. When I first started learning how to do that, it was I had to be very intentional about it.
Tina 00:12:39 It wasn't something that came naturally to me, and I feel like a lot of people are in that situation where, it's you know, it doesn't really come super easy and natural to be able to process emotions, especially when so many of us are told not to, like you said, like, you know, just, you know, color inside the lines. Be quiet. Don't be confrontational. You know, we have all these things that we're trained not to do this. And then when we become an adult, it's like, yes, you have to be present and feel your emotions and you're like, wait a minute, I was trained otherwise. So so I feel like, a lot of people, especially women, that that's what I noticed. There's definitely men, too, but I feel like it's more common in women just because of the way we're brought up. You know, that we have to actually learn how to do this. And so I know that you do this with your clients. So what do you find is like, the hardest thing for people to embrace? Is it actually learning how to be present with it, with their emotions and actually feel them? Or is it learning how to move through them?
Jewels 00:13:53 Well, I'd say it's both.
Jewels 00:13:55 And there are also two main categories, but I feel like I work primarily with the category of past version of me, which is when you're in the mind and then this question come like, how do you feel.
Speaker 3 00:14:11 Good. Yeah.
Jewels 00:14:13 So and I started noticing just how women answer this question, which is like my million dollar question. How do you feel today. And that always comes up good. So depending on where we are in that relationship essentially I start educating them that good is not an emotion.
Speaker 3 00:14:34 Yeah.
Jewels 00:14:36 And if you cannot answer this question in any other way, that just only tells me that you don't have that emotional vocabulary to even express in words of how you feel, which also tells me that you're most likely disconnected with your body. Because every time I ask you that question, you tell me, good. So in depending on where they are at a certain point of our coaching relationship. So I start allowing them to just give themselves permission to feel the frequency of the words and the stories because they in the head and they can be there and it keeps looping, looping, looping, looping.
Jewels 00:15:20 And then when it's looping they get stuck. And the only way to get unstuck is to actually feel and not think your emotions. And that's again like through our coaching relationship I see how they react and how they respond. And when I ask them well how do you feel. They answer the question like this I think I feel.
Speaker 3 00:15:46 Yes I think. Okay.
Jewels 00:15:48 So that gives me the cues again. And then I just pull out my little tips to where to start, to let them start connecting to actual sensations in the body. So which I like to distinguish that that is feelings and that is emotions. And emotions are more or less connected to our own interpretations and stories and all that passed. That's why certain emotions and feelings is just physical sensations on the body and those physical sensations in the body they don't like. The body doesn't lie. That's what I always say. Like the body doesn't lie. So open to receive the truth, you're going to disconnect and you're going to stay in the body because you don't have quite like a level of trust within yourself to trust your body.
Jewels 00:16:40 So which is another level of it? So that's why when we start just simply noticing physical sensations without meaning, that the emotions or whatever, just like describe to me like, how do you feel it if I am a person who doesn't understand what sadness means, so happiness or whatever. To me how it feels in your body. And usually we have like two levels. It's some sort of a language of contraction. Like it might be tension heavy tightness whatever. And that is another level which is whatever the words you can find expansion or openness. So which will be like light tingling moving things like that. Because emotions is essentially energy in motion and we are all energy. We really even disregard the words emotion or feeling and just stay at the level of energy. Like, what's your frequency? Like, what is it like to be you? Can you describe that without telling me emotions or stories? You know, so then it's almost like now I'm allowing them again to go into that multifaceted experience of being a human, which we are much more than just a body, just a mind, just like we are all of it.
Jewels 00:18:07 We are mind, body and soul. We have past, present and future. But essentially we are only present because it's only our mind lives in the present and the future past. But our body is always present. So that's why when we come to the body we are always in the present. And for my clients, when I ask them, you know, how do you actually want to feel. Because they're so disconnected, they're always in that future and they're chasing that goal and whatever. And they're never satisfied, never good enough So I'm like, well, tell me, but how do you want to feel? And the most answer that I hear is I just want to feel present. Well, then you need to connect to the body. The way to be present.
Speaker 3 00:18:52 Yeah.
Jewels 00:18:52 No other way that I know.
Speaker 3 00:18:55 Yeah.
Jewels 00:18:55 But you can be present. And when you're present that's when you start feeling like oh this is how it feels. Well but you just tell me like you're chasing this goal and you're doing all this actions.
Jewels 00:19:09 But when you drop into the body, you actually feel tight and tense and constricted and heavy and all of that. Well, then there is something that there is a disconnect. There is misalignment.
Speaker 3 00:19:24 Yeah.
Jewels 00:19:24 But we need to bring out what is not working. What that story you've been telling yourself. It's just not your truth. And then through coaching I help them get to that truth. And sometimes it might be a tough truth, but when they go there through tears and release it and all that process happens, they actually create space. And that's usually created for that expanded emotion of how they want to feel like more joyful or more present or more satisfying, more fulfilled. And then yeah. Can we create now from this place.
Speaker 3 00:20:04 Yeah I.
Tina 00:20:05 I feel like, I feel like once you can start to really connect to your body, and be in the present, that there's so much guidance, there's so much like intuitive guidance, you know, and, and I, you know, I would say that most of the time I could really tune into that.
Tina 00:20:23 But there are times where I have to like, be more intentional about it when I'm like, anxious or stressed or something like that. And like you said, you're always going to have that in your life. And it's about learning how to respond to that and learning how what works for you. But once you can connect and get in your body in the present moment, there's so much guidance there. If you're just willing to sit still for a moment and listen. And I find that that's one of the biggest keys, is for people to slow down and sit still. And as we talked about at the beginning of the podcast, I didn't do that. Like that was something I didn't do. So I was very disconnected with everything. And, part of my healing process when I was, healing was reconnecting to my intuition. I was like, everybody has intuitions. Like, how do I do that? You know, I didn't even know how I was, like, reading books and taking courses and, and really now, you know, when I work with my clients, one of the, one of the most powerful things I do with them is just teach them to for a couple of times a day to really, like, sit down and just, like, become present, you know, like, take a few deep breaths close your eyes, tune into your body, and then ask yourself like, how? How do I feel right now? Like, what do I need? Like.
Tina 00:21:44 Just like taking just as you would like. If you had a guest in your house staying with you. You know, you wouldn't just, like, let them just wander around and not talk to them. You'd be like, well, what do you need? Can I help you with anything? Or are you hungry? Are you thirsty? You know, like doing that those little things for yourself is such a big deal. And it's something that we should just naturally do throughout a day. So, like, I always tell my clients, like, you know, maybe in the morning and the afternoon at the end of the day, just like, tune in with yourself and see what you need and then give yourself those things. Give yourself that space. You know what I mean? So what are some of the some of the things that you do with your clients that seem to help that work, that help them connect with their body?
Jewels 00:22:30 Yes. and I think it.
Speaker 3 00:22:33 Is.
Jewels 00:22:33 Maybe to segway a little bit.
Jewels 00:22:36 Like what? Describe this a more like self-care practices. which is yeah. Doing all those good things. But I feel like before that becomes a practice and embodied practice, this is just like what I do, right?
Speaker 3 00:22:55 Yeah.
Jewels 00:22:55 Who I am. That is that barrier to that. And the barrier is how you think about yourself. And most of the clients and myself included the past version of me especially. And for women I think we like bring this whole generational trauma of women.
Speaker 3 00:23:17 Yeah.
Jewels 00:23:19 So we have a very distorted view of ourselves, which is founded on the fundamental belief that who I am is not enough. Who I am is not worthy. So that's what drives our overworking and overburdening and overdoing and all of that. When you dig down there, there is always that wound, like who I am as a flawed, who I.
Speaker 3 00:23:47 Am.
Jewels 00:23:48 I need to be more. And we hear that from culture, of course, and from our parents and whatever our own childhood trauma is. And I believe that what we think about ourselves determines what's possible for us, and also determines what actions we're going to stick to and what we're not going to stick to.
Speaker 3 00:24:11 These are.
Jewels 00:24:11 All self-care practices that you mentioned that essentially are founded on the belief I love myself.
Speaker 3 00:24:21 And this is what.
Jewels 00:24:22 I do like. This is an extension of me other than if if you're not there with that belief then most likely those actions are not going to stick around or you're going to go do them. Like most of my clients, I'm on a schedule. I do my thing. I have a massage appointment, but then they come home and they feel guilty. So that's what I always ask them. Well okay then, do you call that a self-care? If you come home and you go into guilt, shame and all of that, and I'm selfish and that and then, you know, they don't do another massage appointment till six months later.
Speaker 3 00:24:59 Yeah, yeah. So.
Jewels 00:25:01 that's why I think when we fundamentally believe that we are not good enough with anything matter with any practices matter. With any doing matters with any goals matter? No. Because we're still chasing what is not even true, but because you haven't paused and slowed down and nobody really was there on the other side to help you see that Let's question that belief.
Jewels 00:25:33 Coming from. And what's the evidence. Like where is it like if we crack you open. Do you have like a label made. Not good.
Speaker 3 00:25:45 Enough. Yeah.
Jewels 00:25:47 No. Like you were born that baby you know back then and everybody was happy for you to be born and. Poop everywhere and.
Speaker 3 00:25:57 Yeah. And. Yeah. And then you're perfect. You adorable. Yeah. Yeah.
Jewels 00:26:03 So and then of course when we go through our development and growth in the culture and all of that, we suddenly get disconnected from the divine energy of who we are. We're still that, we're still that divine. Because in our humankind and that survival paradigm that we all have signed up to unconsciously or consciously, but most unconsciously, we just start carrying that? I'm not good.
Speaker 3 00:26:32 Enough.
Jewels 00:26:33 But when I worked hard it's noble right.
Tina 00:26:38 Yeah. A lot of women where you know they work themselves to death and then they wear it like a badge of honor, you know. You know and like even when women talk to each other and I've definitely talked about this before, but like they, they're like, oh, how you know.
Tina 00:26:51 Oh, hi. How are you? Oh, I'm so busy. I'm doing this and I'm doing this. And sometimes you, like, listen to them and you get tired just listening to them because you're like, oh my gosh. You know, like, when do you when do you relax? And. Yeah. And it's about, trying to constantly prove that you're worthy of whatever it is you're looking for. Acceptance, love. You know what? Whatever it is, you know, and and I don't know how you feel, but I feel that this is just programmed into us, starting from a young age where we're we're taught that we're not enough, you know, not on purpose, you know. You know, it's just the the world that we live in and the way we're we're raised. It's it's always about, you know, be quiet. Like I said earlier, color inside the lines. You know, if you think about it, too, like we're always getting yelled at for, you know, doing something wrong or, you know, you know, misbehaving or even when you go to school, you don't talk too much and you have to ask to go to the bathroom and like, all these just weird, things that just, like, program you over and over again.
Tina 00:28:05 and I feel like basically what you're saying is you're, you know, reprogramming, you know, so that and like you said, what's the proof that you're not worthy? What's the proof that you're not loved? What's the proof that you don't deserve to have the very best of everything. And there is no proof because everybody deserves, you know. Yeah.
Speaker 3 00:28:25 Love and.
Jewels 00:28:26 Well yeah, again, that just depends on how you view yourself and your belief about. That's why more you start. That's why I don't necessarily, like fix my people's problems. Right. My clients problems. But I help them, like dissolve them because they get there and we see there is no truth. That's why understanding that subconscious mind. And going back to your point, yes, there is a culture, but also how we are wired. We are wired for survival.
Speaker 3 00:29:02 And that.
Jewels 00:29:04 Fear response reaction I guess.
Speaker 3 00:29:08 Is.
Jewels 00:29:09 Is real for the mind. It is for the subconscious mind and subconscious mind is doing its beautiful job to tell me I am worthy, then I'm not worthy.
Speaker 3 00:29:20 And I.
Jewels 00:29:21 Believe in between. So just even understanding like okay subconscious mind is operating from black and white language plus minus. Right? Wrong. And of course, how do we get our grades right in kindergarten and college and school? We all have an idea. Okay, it's a multiple choice or right, wrong. good, bad and all of that. And then we just like, start getting into this black and white language. That's why, like most of my clients, they're controlling, perfecting and people pleasing. These are.
Speaker 3 00:29:55 All.
Jewels 00:29:56 The barriers. And that's how they know. And as soon as we start deviating towards a little bit more of that abundant view, and now you have to take responsibility, respond, right. For taking your own view or your own way to get somewhere or your own decision, what you're going to eat today or not to eat today. Not because it's bad or good or right or wrong or healthy and healthy and all of that. But it's like what I actually like.
Speaker 3 00:30:24 right Eight.
Jewels 00:30:24 So then we're coming to that again. Wholeness. And that's where you start calibrating and creating the evidence of like trusting again, trusting this new view, trusting this new way of showing up, trusting your choices. Not because somebody said good, bad, right or wrong. But no, I actually don't even like, like eating this thing, but this diet or whatever. Now I'm stuck with it. But are you really stuck with it. Right. So and this is when we start like getting to know ourselves like oh like the, the huge question that I ask for my clients. You know what brings you joy. So I have this whole like joy journal and I haven't do it for at least a month. Just that asking one simple question a day and give yourself one simple answer. We're not going to like, you know, going on the beach every day.
Speaker 3 00:31:21 Yeah. What do you.
Jewels 00:31:22 Like to eat?
Tina 00:31:23 Yeah.
Speaker 3 00:31:24 What I want to do.
Jewels 00:31:24 Who do I want to talk to? Like what brings me joy? And then when they start really being intentional and then come back and we share their answers or their revelations, they get very surprised.
Jewels 00:31:35 Like what they actually after is not even joyful.
Tina 00:31:40 Yeah.
Speaker 3 00:31:41 Like boy. Yeah. Something different. Yes.
Tina 00:31:44 Yeah. That's I do the same thing with my clients actually we have a, I call it the 100 list. But it's like a hundred things that bring you joy. And it should be like very simple things on there or that could be done like, you know, like things like, for me, like having a cup of coffee in the morning while I watch the sunrise with my dog. Like something simple like that. What are the things that really make me happy, like, truly happy and just, like, making lists and then, like, trying to do at least one of those things every single day, you know, and, and really, I always say the and I usually get like a gasp when I say this, but it's like.
Speaker 3 00:32:22 Yeah.
Tina 00:32:22 Really? Your whole day should be like that. Your whole day should be joy. That's what we're here for. We're here to enjoy our lives, you know? And I'm not saying that bad things don't happen and we don't have stresses and anxiety, but the goal should be that most of the things I spend my time doing intentionally should bring me joy, you know? And so it's about slowly shifting over to that so that most of your time is spent doing those wonderful things.
Tina 00:32:48 And I think a lot of people come to the realization when they start doing that, that the, the goals and the dreams that they're following aren't really their own goals and dreams either. They're just like something, some kind of societal expectation or sometimes a lot of times family expectations, partner expectations, you know, just like even like peer pressure of your friends, like pursuing, you know, pursuing something that you're passionate about, but your friends or your family or your partner don't know anything about that side of you having to share that for the first time because it brings you so much joy could be so scary because as human beings, we just always want to be accepted and we, you know, into our, our clan and our place in society. So sharing those parts of ourselves that we're always afraid to share, can be quite scary, but I can be very freeing and also very surprising sometimes when you start to share the true person that you, that you who you are, because a lot of times other people are also hiding those parts of themselves, you know? And so, yeah, I think that that's it's very interesting, the transformation that you can go through once you really start paying attention to how things actually really make you feel and what you really like to do.
Tina 00:34:13 another pressure I think that's put on, you know, all people really is that in order to be considered successful or and I do that I'm using like little quotation marks because there is like this societal expectation to success. And so I try to teach people, you create your own success. It doesn't matter what anybody else views as success, because that's not your success. You have to create your own success. And if your own success, your own success is, you know, raising your kids and having a wonderful flower garden outside and that's all you want to do, and that's all that makes you happy, then that's what you should do. Like, you don't have to save the world or, you know, resolve world hunger or, you know, do something just this big, huge thing. You have to just focus on what you're really what really, put you in that state of flow and brings you that happiness, that true happiness. And it could be something very simple, you know, and it could be something that you're already doing, but you haven't completely accepted that as your your purpose or whatever you want to call it.
Tina 00:35:30 That makes sense.
Jewels 00:35:33 So yeah, I think it makes sense. Yeah. So we talk about yeah, that's driving for success and state of law doing something to get that happiness and how I see it from where I am right now. And going back to the, malted dimensionality of our experience, which I believe that we are always and first and foremost, we are the spiritual being. So that's why that energy, the spirit is always there. and we are human.
Speaker 3 00:36:12 Yeah.
Jewels 00:36:12 Human experience. And so mind and body basically. Right. So spirit mind and body. So and then again when I look at myself from this perspective, then I am never alone. I'm always plugged in to source the higher energy, whatever you want to call it, the nature I like to call. And I teach quite a bit about universal laws, because when we start understanding how nature is governed by the divine and that's perfect, that is a lot we can learn about ourselves. So, that's why one of the laws is called state.
Jewels 00:37:03 the law of resonance, is basically again comes from the statement of I am. I am is what we came here with, which is I am is consciousness. And when we put after that, that becomes what we create. So like if I'm saying I'm not good enough, then I need something outside of me to make me complete, aka make me feel happy or make me feel like I'm in flow or whatever. So which will come from again, that fearful side of ourselves, the limited side, which yeah, basically it's a point for evolution because when we are limited, when we're disconnected, we're in lack, we're in need. And that means we have to do something to be something. Or it might mean if we bring the spirituality to it, this is your opportunity to accept and love yourself fully. And that unconditional love essentially is your point of freedom. So and that's where like bringing the language of love and understanding the love from the perspective of love has no agenda. So that's why we are doing something.
Jewels 00:38:18 In order to get something or to feel something. We have an agenda that only shows that I don't have a relationship with loving myself. So which means I'm not free, which means something outside of me, which has become that circumstantial power that I'm giving my personal power of who I am because I already feel I'm not good enough. I am not good enough, not worthy, not deserving, blah blah. So I am out outside of me looking for it. But again, we start understanding that, oh, this is my human limited part. Going back to what you're saying. Yeah. Why wouldn't I just ask that limited part. What do you need honey. And that honey needs some validation. Hugging, kissing loving some you know good language again. Like we can come to the body and feel that part of me. What just happened is that I exercise my love to that part of me. Instead of shaming her guilt in her and all of that, judging her, criticizing, pushing her away, avoiding her, building up all that energy waste and shortening my bandwidth for energy because it takes a lot of energy to resist what's already there.
Speaker 3 00:39:31 Yeah.
Jewels 00:39:32 So that's why when I come and, you know, love her, hug her, have a meeting with her, ask her what she wants. Give her what she wants. That takes me a minute. Five minutes. Depends. Like what skills I'm using, how much I practice, and all of that. It really does not take that long when you start really exercising the energy of love, which is willing forgiving. So then I come to again spiritual being. And in my spiritual being who I am as that energy of the divine and the reflection of the nature, I am already that what I'm looking for, which essentially I am, I'm not lacking anything. I'm ready. Happiness. And when I am happy, I create happy conditions. It's when I am successful because I create more success. Yeah, it's like even Law of attraction, right? So we know that whatever frequency I am frequenting energy creating right around me, that's reality. The universe responds to my energy. Yeah, but to what I'm saying or not saying, whatever, it's the energy of embodiment.
Jewels 00:40:45 So. And when we want to create more happiness from already being happy, I'm not chasing. That I am moving towards that I am moving from it. So and again the universe responds in that frequency, that energy. So I suddenly start meeting happy people. I suddenly like find happy channels. Yeah Suddenly, like, get some happy books, I get messages, I go outside and I see happy things.
Speaker 3 00:41:19 Around me.
Jewels 00:41:20 And it's.
Speaker 3 00:41:21 Like.
Jewels 00:41:22 Everything is still the same. But inside of me, it's almost like I transform the lens through which I see the world, because I transformed myself, from which I see myself. And now we're in match.
Speaker 3 00:41:36 Yeah.
Jewels 00:41:37 Which again, like happiness, it doesn't come and go, it's always there. But my awareness of happiness, that's what it comes and go and that's that opportunity for lessons evolution or simply just loving yourself lies because that's what's going to help you come back to that again. Expansive, space connect, reconnect with your divine and then suddenly again, you're not alone.
Jewels 00:42:06 And when you're not alone, it feels amazing. It feels abundant and now you're like, okay, let me go.
Speaker 3 00:42:13 Cook.
Jewels 00:42:14 Let me go do something because it's me in my personal power who causes happiness or happy conditions or happy people to come to my life or whatever, because I'm not lacking it.
Speaker 3 00:42:28 Yeah.
Jewels 00:42:29 That's why I think like our job is not to do do do do do do do. Of course, like, you know, we need to create actions as long as they aligned. Right. But our job is almost like reconnect to who we are and so to speak, like receive the gift.
Speaker 3 00:42:47 Yeah, it's.
Tina 00:42:48 To be it's to be like you decide. I think that a lot of people get really frustrated that they, you know, I always say you have the choice. You always have the choice to be happy. And sometimes it's really hard to hear that because you've been so miserable for so long. But you really do have the choice, and it's hard to step into that sometimes But, once you choose, you're just like, okay, I'm going to choose to be happy.
Tina 00:43:14 What makes me happy? What can I do to make, you know, start to like, really step into that? Exactly like you said it so. Well, as soon as you make that choice and you step into that happiness, everything around you is happiness. So I like the way you said you, you just changed the lens. That the way you see things and it is that easy, like it really is. It's just, accepting that and then, like, really embracing it, I think can be really difficult for people sometimes, including myself. I remember when I was healing, like, if someone would say that to me, like, it's your choice if you want to be happy. Okay. Yeah, right. Whatever. You know, like, yeah, like nobody really wants to hear that when they've been miserable for a while. So it's like it is hard to hear. But once you really like embrace that. Just be open to it. And I give it a shot.
Tina 00:44:05 It really is. there's a lot of truth behind that.
Speaker 3 00:44:10 Yes.
Jewels 00:44:11 Well, if I may to may add something to that.
Speaker 3 00:44:15 Sure.
Jewels 00:44:17 because I was on the other side for many years, so I was, raised in Russia, so and things were super hard and difficult. And also it's a very much fatalistic country and culture. So I was pretty negative. And I mean, my first awareness of positivity came from Louise Hay teachings. But still, I was just like you described was very physical, like, yeah, sure. Love. Yeah.
Speaker 3 00:44:46 Yeah. So. Right.
Jewels 00:44:50 and that's.
Speaker 3 00:44:51 That's.
Jewels 00:44:52 The thing. So the body carries that energy in that frequency. And when you do it over and over again, that's why when your system, entire system and especially again, that body knows this frequency, this map. Yes. It's very challenging because essentially, I don't know what it feels like to be on the other side. Plus, when it happens, I'm not safe because the body and the nervous system, they haven't developed the capacity and resiliency.
Jewels 00:45:26 So that's why, there is that upper limit that I'm meeting because also one of my big beliefs, and that's what I had to create capacity and resiliency to feel. And I still am working on that. Like I'm not completely safe in this high emotions here. is that upper limit? Right. So I had to expand it and I had to like titrate calibrate. Yeah. There was those moments of awareness and intentional consciousness to like, create the little pockets of safety because that is still believe here. Like, oh, and just the shoe is going to drop.
Speaker 3 00:46:05 Or oh yeah, it's.
Tina 00:46:06 A big one.
Jewels 00:46:07 In Russia was constant, like, there was a lot like, you know, black Cat crosses the road.
Tina 00:46:13 Oh, yeah.
Speaker 3 00:46:14 Superstitions.
Jewels 00:46:15 Yeah. Superstitions. Yes. So in that, like one of my biggest revelations that I created because I was that person, like the black cat crosses the road and I would be driving. And doesn't matter if I'm late for the appointment or whatever, I will take the whole block around.
Speaker 3 00:46:32 Yeah.
Jewels 00:46:34 But I'm just gonna, like, make it out of it, because I never questioned it and nobody had that response. So that's why we are, like, so connected. But then when I was on my verge of opening up. So one day the black cat crossed the road. And that day I decided, you know what? It's for good luck. And I just.
Speaker 3 00:46:55 Chose to.
Jewels 00:46:56 Believe that it's for good luck. And I think that in this, like, like manner with a smile and my body kind of like, oh yeah, let's do that. Because you know, now we're friends. And since then, I am, like, chasing the black cat crossing.
Speaker 3 00:47:11 Yeah. Because I'm like good luck.
Jewels 00:47:14 So and when I did that it was like you know silly example. But also I was seriously under fear. Like I know what fear feels like in my body because that's a familiar feeling for like for 40 years. Right.
Speaker 3 00:47:28 Yeah.
Jewels 00:47:29 So that's why just going to the other side, that is a lot that needs to happen.
Jewels 00:47:35 And it always helps when somebody like you or I or whatever hold your hand and help you just like it's okay.
Tina 00:47:44 Oh, yeah.
Jewels 00:47:45 So I mean to the body and just letting yourself feel what's there, which essentially when you do feel what's there, it naturally goes to the next emotion. So you don't even have to like, choose consciously. But you can work both like they both work. Sometimes you have to, like, bring your mind and choose consciously and stop. And other times you just like, okay, I'm going to sit with what's there. And just by doing so, you're not resisting it. Just like nature, you know, the nature does not resist rain. It just there does not resist when it's just there. But because you don't resist, the wind stops. We're back to normal. So that's kind of like my experience. in case that's helpful for your audience to know that it's quite normal and it's like.
Tina 00:48:37 Yeah, no, that was a really good example to nature.
Tina 00:48:40 I think that's kind of cool way to think about it. I like that. So, could you just tell everybody here how they can connect with you? Like, where do you hang out? Do you have a social media? I know you've mentioned your podcast, so I will put a link to that soulful ambition. Right.
Speaker 3 00:49:01 Soulful and.
Jewels 00:49:02 Ambitious.
Tina 00:49:03 And ambitious. I'm sorry. Yeah. so we'll put a link to, so full and ambitious in the show notes, but where else do you hang out?
Jewels 00:49:12 Well, I hang out on Instagram, and that's jewels. Like a precious stone spelling. Jules. J w e l s underscore coaching.
Tina 00:49:24 Okay.
Jewels 00:49:25 And then I do have just my personal Facebook account, which is Jules Lam lam. So I post there too. And I have a site. So. And currently I do have, an offering that I do offer a session that I called Mind and Body Connection. And it's designed for those women who have a tendency to be in the mind and feel like they're trapped in their emotions of day to day operation.
Jewels 00:49:59 It's not like trauma Related. so and I have this offering to help them come to the session and experience what it feels like to remove the barriers and be present for what is there. So I guide them through this powerful process of feeling and then recreating. So which is essentially they come to their empowered state and feel unstuck. so that's why, like I always tell them, you know, don't do anything crazy after that. Just try to relax.
Speaker 3 00:50:41 The process is.
Jewels 00:50:42 Still keep.
Speaker 3 00:50:43 Going.
Jewels 00:50:44 And that was usually the next day. like, my clients use Voxer messaging and they tell me, oh, my God, I haven't felt like this for years.
Speaker 3 00:50:54 You're attention.
Jewels 00:50:56 I'm like, no, no, you created the magic. I was just there.
Speaker 3 00:50:59 Yeah That's cool.
Jewels 00:51:01 And usually they describe something like, I feel like Ā£20 just fell off my body. I feel so light. I almost like fly off through the day like okay, well hold on. Nice try to peace out a little bit here in there.
Jewels 00:51:20 Like, no, I have so much energy. And that's what happens because when we don't let the energy do what it's supposed to do, which is move or flow, what happens maybe like perhaps in like in your case. Right. So the energy builds up, builds up, builds up, builds up. And it's still going to find the way to get somewhere. And as we already know, through neuroscience and all of that like emotions because they actually have biological and hormonal reactions in the body. they can lead to disease and whatever else. Right. Yes.
Tina 00:51:57 Yeah. That's the body keeps the score. That book. That's a yeah, it's a good book to read. So you call it a mind body connection. So it's like a session so I can put a link. I could put a link for that in the show notes.
Jewels 00:52:11 Thank you so much. Yeah. For sharing the length and sharing the message. And I'm glad that we can talk and, be on the same wave.
Tina 00:52:21 Yes, yes.
Tina 00:52:22 Yeah. It was wonderful chatting with you. I want to thank you for coming on and sharing your experiences and your wisdom with us, and I really appreciate it. I had a good time talking to you.
Jewels 00:52:33 Yes. Thank you so much, Tina, for having me and helping me share the message. And, yeah, because like I always say, I like to retire with women who think good about themselves and feel good about themselves.
Tina 00:52:48 Absolutely. I agree the world is a better place with women like that in it.
Speaker 3 00:52:52 Yeah for sure.
Jewels 00:52:53 Thank you.
Speaker 3 00:52:54 Thank you.
