Tina (00:00:00) - Today's episode is all about self-care and self-love. Have you ever wondered what exactly is the difference between self-care and self-love and what is like? What do I have to do to add self-care into my everyday life? And the same thing. How do I support loving myself unconditionally? So today I'm just going to go over like the definitions of these things, the benefits of both and some of the combined benefits and how you can get started. And I'm going to leave you with a quick action step that you can do today to get started on both of these things. Okay, guys, let's get into it. You're listening to the Soul Online Self-care podcast. I'm your host, Tina Stinson, and I had a stroke at the age of 39 from stress and burnout that shook my world. Now I'm laying it all out. The deep level self-care practices and mindset shifts that I needed that kept me healthy, balanced, and thriving. Join me in this intimate space as we explore healing, resilience, and the soul's journey to alignment.
Tina (00:01:15) - This is where real conversations about deep level self-care happen. Let's get into it. Hey, guys, before we get started, I have something new and exciting to share with you. For everyone out there that has been feeling like you're juggling a million things at once, and all of your self-care just keeps slipping through the cracks. I completely get it. That's why I'm so excited to tell you about something that will be a game changer. It's called the Soul Aligned Self-care circle. Just picture this. It's a space where you could finally put yourself first without any guilt. It's all about stepping into your power while embracing deep level self-care. I'm talking about saying goodbye to stress, anxiety, overwhelm, and burnout and saying hello to some peace, flow and yes, thriving in your life. So what's inside the circle? Well, we've got weekly coaching and connection calls where we catch up, share advice and give each other that much needed boost. Plus, there are these awesome weekly journal prompts that really help me dig deep and gain clarity.
Tina (00:02:23) - And let's not forget our weekly meditation and breathwork sessions. They're like a mini vacation for your soul. This is a space to heal the nervous system, reconnect and protect your power, and then thrive. Oh, and there's something also that's really cool. We've got these weekly affirmation wallpapers for your phone, so they're like little reminders that keep you going even on those tough days. And guess what? We've got guest speakers dropping by, sharing their wisdom and bonus masterclasses to level up your self-care game. But you know what the best part is? It's the vibe that we got going on in there. It's like hanging out with your best friends, except we're all on this journey of healing, self-discovery, and growth together. We laugh, we support each other. We're just there for each other through all of it. So if you're ready to prioritize yourself and create a life filled with balance, flow, and success, then come join us at the Soul Alliance Self-care circle. Trust me, you won't regret it.
Tina (00:03:22) - Let's do this together. You could find the link in the show notes, and until we start in June, it's going to be at the low launch price, so be sure to get in now. Okay guys, let's get into it. Hey guys. Welcome back to the Soul Alliance Self-care podcast. I'm Tina Stinson and I just want to thank you for hanging out with me here every single week. And for those of you that are new, I want to welcome you. As you know, I do a solo episode on Wednesdays, and I have a guest episode that's released on Fridays, and pretty much every week I do this except when I go on vacation. Of course, sometimes I'm very efficient and I schedule something when I go on vacation, but sometimes I don't. So, But I am very happy to be able to hang out with you every week and have you join me. And if you really get something out of this podcast, please share it with other people who might benefit from it.
Tina (00:04:18) - And also, if you could leave me a review on Apple Podcasts that helps me put the show in front of more people, and it helps me have more connections, more people, so I could help more people. And I just want to thank you once again for being here with me. So today, today we are talking all about what is the difference between self-care and self-love. And I always want to get started and I want to be open with you. I call myself a self-care and mindset coach because that is a lot of what I focus on. And I constantly differentiate, deep level self-care to surface level self-care. And I emphasize that both of these things are really important and needed. And the way that I, you know, tell them apart is surface level self-care is kind of like the stuff that you do. You know, the bubble baths, getting your nails done, having lunch with a friend, you know, like those, those like lower, easier things to implement in your everyday life.
Tina (00:05:20) - And then I say, I describe deep level self-care as, you know, setting the boundaries, learning how to set boundaries and maintain them. reframing situations in your mind, learning how to support your your nervous system. Like so. These are the deep level self-care practices that I use with a lot of my clients. And so today I'm going to give you like the traditional definition of self-care and self-love. And I just want to say that after like really digging in and going deep into this and what, you know is the common, I should say, definition of self-care and self-love and what how I define it. In my mind, I could say that I am a self-care slash self-love coach because a lot of the self-love aspects really fall into that deep level self-care that I was talking about. And so I really think it's how you define it. But I get a lot of questions from people that are very new to self-care. they come to me because someone says you need to practice self-care every day. This is what you need to do to reduce stress.
Tina (00:06:26) - You know, an. Anxiety and take care of yourself, but they really don't know what that means, right? Because where is the definition? And so I just want to kind of define these things for you today. And I also want to share with you some of the benefits, some of the combined benefits of both and how you can get started. And lastly, I am going to give you an awesome action step that you can take in order to start today. It's one action step and it's going to help you with both self-care and self-love. All right, so let's get into it. As I said, there's two different types of self-care. And I would say that when I was on my healing journey, and just getting started, you know, coming from that place where I had a stroke when I was 39 years old and I was learning to heal not just my physical body, but also mentally, like all of the things that I went through in order to, like, be able to stay alive and be around for my kids and then also thrive in my life.
Tina (00:07:26) - I didn't want to just survive, I wanted to thrive. And so I went through this, this long healing process. But I have to say, one of the things that one of the first things I had to do was learn how to set boundaries and maintain them. And this was very hard for me because I, you know, I always call myself a professional people pleaser. That's how I started out, at least. And so I didn't have any boundaries. And this was a survival mechanism that I put into place in order to make my life easier with the abuse that I was experiencing. And so what do I mean by survival? I mean, when I was doing this, you know, being the people pleaser, I wanted to remove as much friction and confrontation as I possibly could. So I felt that I needed to do this in order to survive. So I would kind of do and turn into whatever I needed to to make the other person happy and reduce any chance of any type of friction and, and you know, I did this as a survival technique, but then I drew it into like, I kind of brought it into like every aspect of my life.
Tina (00:08:36) - Not intentionally, but that's just how that's just what happened. And so I had to kind of move out of this and learn how to heal and then set boundaries and maintain them and start stepping into the most authentic version of myself. And this took years. I was doing this on my own. I didn't really have a lot of support. this is where hiring a coach is like, oh my God, it's worth so much because you could save so much time and then make it so much easier on yourself because I was just, you know, testing things out, seeing if they worked test things out. It took me a long time to heal. And so, if I had to, like, make a commercial for coaches like myself, and there's many other coaches that do this beautiful work every day, I could say that I wish I had a coach when I was going through this. And so setting boundaries and maintaining them is I would I would, say that that is and I still do. I say that this is the foundation of self-care, because if you don't have boundaries and you don't know how to maintain them, all the other self-care stuff you do like that, all that surface level self-care that I've talked about isn't really going to stick, right.
Tina (00:09:48) - It's going to help you in that moment, but it's not really going to get you anywhere. It's not going to build and support your nervous system. You really need to also have, you know, that protection that you need for your nervous system, a way to make you more resilient with the day to day stresses. And so I always say that boundaries are the foundation for self-care. And then I would say self-love also, because this is a deep level self-love and self-care practice, because once you really know how to support yourself in this way and you start to realize that, it's really up to you, that I remember this was a turning point for me, a decision that I made, that it was up to me to be able to come out of that victim mode, which, you know, I had every right to say I was a victim. I was, but it didn't help me to stay there, if that makes sense. And nobody, everybody cared about me and they supported me, but nobody was going to get me out of victim and into thriving.
Tina (00:10:50) - But me. I was the only one that could do that. And so I had to really learn how to step into that and boundaries. Was that that first, that first, like somebody throwing me, I have this visual of somebody just throwing me, you know, the tube when I'm in the water, it like saved me. It it brought me over to the other side and supported me on my healing journey as I learned all these different like, techniques to heal my nervous system and to support my nervous system. Okay? And these were all different self-care and self-love techniques. So I just want to say that, they go hand in. Self-care and self-love go hand in hand, okay? And they support each other and you need both of those. And that's why I implement both of these things. When I'm working with my clients, I feel like it's so important. So they might sound very similar. And sometimes they might, like exist on the same plane, right? But they each have unique vibes and incredible benefits.
Tina (00:11:50) - So I'm going to break it down a little bit right now. So we're going to define self-care okay. So self-care definition. it's all those intentional activities that we do to keep our physical, our mental and our emotional well-being in check. Like these. These are day to day activities. And I really emphasize day to day because yes, you could be a self-care weekend warrior, just like you could work out on the weekends, right? Work out a workout, weekend warrior, whatever they call it. but I really think it's about the daily activities, and it doesn't have to take a lot of time. Think of self-care as your personal maintenance routine. It could be as simple as taking a bubble bath every day, going for a jog, savoring a healthy meal. It's anything that helps you recharge and feel good. So like, keep that in mind. Anything that helps you recharge and feel good. Okay, now we're going to go into defining self-love. So on the other hand self-love goes a little bit deeper.
Tina (00:12:49) - And it's about having a profound appreciation and respect for yourself as you are right now in this moment. It's knowing your worth, being kind to yourself and making choices that reflect your true desires and values. I can't tell you how important it is, all these words that I'm saying right now to focus on it. So I really want you to focus on exactly what I'm saying, like being kind to yourself, making choices that reflect true desires and values. Self-love means embracing all parts of yourself, even the flaws, and loving yourself unconditionally. So a lot of people use the, you know, the example of a baby. You know, babies can't do anything and they make a lot of mistakes while they're learning to like, walk and grow and talk and do all the things. And we don't, like, criticize them. But when we get older and we're still learning and expanding, we are constantly criticizing ourselves because we're not living up to some kind of unrealistic expectation that was created usually by someone else, usually by society.
Tina (00:13:52) - Right. And so I really want you to like, you know, really, really read through. I'll put it in the show notes the definition of self-love and self-care because I think it's so important. There are a bunch of words slapped together, right? But they're so important to really embody what these mean. So we're going to look at some of the benefits okay. And I'm just going to kind of read through the benefits quickly, because I think we're quite aware that there's so many benefits to daily self-care and, learning how to step into self-love, loving yourself unconditionally. So for self-care, improved physical health, right. So, you know, looking at like exercise and proper nutrition that helps you stay in really good shape and feel good and have energy enhanced mental health. So practices such as like mindfulness and meditation can melt away stress and anxiety. And there's so many other practices that fall under this mental health realm better emotional well-being. So that helps you. self-care really helps you manage your emotions, leading to a happier you.
Tina (00:14:59) - Okay, increased productivity. Taking time to rest and recharge boosts your focus and efficiency. And this is so important because all those like people who think that they're going to stay up and we're going to have four hours of sleep and, you know, get up at 5 a.m. and do all this stuff, and you don't need a lot of sleep. And, I believe that's a bunch of BS. I believe we're way more efficient when we take the time to rest. And one of the, the one of the ways I learned this lesson was, working out physically. And so I'm a runner. And there was this one year where I was doing a marathon, among other races. And so I, I signed up for a training program. It was like a woman's, like, running club, and we were all training for a marathon, and it was fantastic. But I was also in this other running club that was run by a local store, a local running store, and it was just more of a social thing for me, that running club.
Tina (00:15:54) - But I was training like you could imagine. I was training so much. And so one of the things I wasn't doing was resting. So you would think and I thought at the time, I'm just I'm just training so hard, I'm going to have the best run. I'm going to have the best time on my marathon. And what I learned was I actually was weaker. Like I wasn't as strong when it came down to the race. I wasn't fast, I was slower, and I wasn't as strong. I didn't feel as good because I didn't. Allow myself to rest. And that was the perfect lesson that I learned in increased productivity. Self-care is the same way, so taking time to rest and recharge boosts your focus, right? You're not scattered and your efficiency, so keep that in mind. We all need to rest in order to step into that best version of ourselves. Stronger relationships is another thing, so when you take care of yourself, you can be more present and supportive with others.
Tina (00:16:55) - the same thing. The more well-rested you are, the better you feel about yourself and the better you show up in those relationships. So like moving in to the benefits of self-love. So higher self-esteem. I don't know about you, but we can all use a little bit of that. Self-love helps you see yourself in a positive light and boosts your confidence. Learning how to like, really love yourself unconditionally. Accept exactly as you are right now. Like it said earlier, all your flaws and everything. Sometimes I look at my flaws and I'm like, how can I? How can I view that as a superpower? Because, some of the things that we look at as flaws, may be dictated by other people as flaws, maybe by society, they are considered flaws. But if you really look into them, there's a reason that you're the way you are. You're a unique person, and everybody's so different, and all those little pieces of you make you who you are. So like just accepting that, like just standing in that and accepting it.
Tina (00:17:57) - once you do that, it just changes everything. It changes your perception of everything. Resilience. Loving yourself helps you bounce back from life's challenges with grace. I would say resilience should be under self-care also because you're giving your nervous system resilience. Also because the more resilience you have, the better you are able to respond. Instead of react to all the things that life brings to you, right? Because there's always going to be ups and downs. There's no perfection. You cannot remove all the stresses and all the anxiety from your life. You have to. But you can make yourself more resilient to these things, healthier boundaries. Just what I was talking about earlier. Self-love empowers you to set and uphold boundaries that protect your well-being. And I, as I said earlier, I say that boundaries are the foundation for all of this self-love and self-care. And I also I consider it deep level self-care, emotional stability. Accepting yourself fully brings an inner peace and emotional balance. Yes, there's so much inner peace when you accept yourself exactly as you are.
Tina (00:19:06) - And if you could do that one thing, man, I'm just telling you, once you decide to just accept yourself, you move forward feeling differently in your body. and then lastly, fulfillment. Self-love leads to a more authentic and fulfilling life as you make choices that align with your true self. So when you're willing to accept yourself exactly as you are, it's easier to step into that version of yourself and show up that way on a daily basis. And when you do that, life goes into like this flow. Like the people that are supposed to be in your life are they're the people that aren't supposed to be in your life kind of fall away. You'll notice more, opportunities that pop up or more aligned with you when you're in alignment. Everything else is in alignment, too. And so it's just really cool how that happens when you start to show up that way. So common benefits for both of these things are enhanced mental health, improved relationships, greater happiness, increased resilience. And so when I go into like relationships, I always say family relationships, love relationships, social business relationships, career relationships.
Tina (00:20:13) - It improves everything. And when you improve those relationships, you improve those areas of your life. So you know, your social life, your your love life, your career, your business. If you have a business, all of these things, uplevel when you improve your self-care and your self-love. Okay. So amazing benefits. Some of the questions I, I frequently get from people, as I said at the beginning, is how to get started. All right. So I made a list of small ways that you could, you know, start like kind of, implement in your life to get started with both of these things. Okay. So the first thing under self-care is to really identify your needs. take a moment to reflect on which areas of your life need more TLC? This is one of the first things I do with all my clients. Whether you're in one of my online programs or, one on one. And I share this openly for free with a lot of people. And, in the show notes and this podcast, I'm going to offer that to all of my listeners.
Tina (00:21:22) - If you wanted to. I have an assessment. I call it the Balance. Sheet and I will share that with you, and walk you through that if needed. So that is going to be in the show notes, an opportunity for you to do get the help. So be able to identify your needs. Start small I can't emphasize small enough right. So small. What's great about small steps is when you when you're implement small easy steps you have wins really quick. The more wins you have, the more motivation and momentum that you will gain with this. Right? So starting small really it stops you from getting getting overwhelmed and not starting at all. Right? So start small. Begin with simple practices like drinking more water, getting enough sleep, taking short walks. you know, there's also going to be things that you as an individual, help you recharge. Like, for me, I love reading. I love spending time in my garden. So you have to really start tuning into your body and feel what helps you recharge.
Tina (00:22:29) - Okay. create a routine of it. So establish a self-care routine that fits into your schedule, such as a morning meditation or a nightly skincare ritual. So I 100% support this. I feel like one of the easiest ways to start implementing self-care is to have either a morning or a nighttime routine. It's the easiest place to add it. A lot of us have, little bits of spare time in those moments. So if you're the type of person that says I'm too busy for self-care, that's where you should start and you should make small. Like I said, start small like a three minute guided meditation or the nightly skincare ritual. most people, I most people do that already, right? But you could, like, uplevel it a little bit and make it a little more bougie. Right? Listen to your body. Oh, this is so important. And the the action step that I'm going to share at the end of this is all about listening to your body. Pay attention to your body signals and respond with kindness, okay? Don't bully yourself.
Tina (00:23:32) - Whether that means resting or moving, whatever it means to you, pay attention and give yourself what it needs. Set boundaries. Learn to say no and protect your time and energy from over commitment. Okay? And learning how to set boundaries can be really hard when you're moving from like where I was being a people pleaser. So that could be really difficult thing to do. And if you need extra support with that, you could reach out to me. But setting boundaries, there's different ways you can identify places that you need to set boundaries. And usually one of the greatest ways to start is to look at where you feel slighted. Okay, this person walks all over me. This person doesn't respect me. This person doesn't appreciate me. That's a sign that you need to set a boundary. You can't expect other people to automatically respect you to automatically know exactly what you need. You have to tell people what you need. You have to show people what you are willing to put up with and what you're not.
Tina (00:24:33) - Okay, just because somebody is doing the, you know, the things where you feel like they're walking all over you, they don't respect you. It doesn't mean that that's true. It just means that that's something they know you're willing to tolerate. And as a human being, we're you know, when we're being human, we're going to, get what we know we can get, okay? It's not that that person doesn't love or care about you, but sometimes, you know, when somebody doesn't respect your boundaries and then you start really stepping into that and implementing it, and that they get even angrier. A lot of times that person really isn't meant to be in your life. If they're not supportive on this healing journey that you're going on now, moving into stepping into like a path of self-love, like, how can you get started with that? So one of the first things that you could do is practice self-compassion. So be as kind to yourself as you would to a dear friend. Your children, your parents, whoever, whoever you love in your life, your partner.
Tina (00:25:35) - Give yourself, at the very least, what you give to other people. Okay, affirmations. So use positive affirmations to reinforce your worth and capabilities. Okay, so one of the ways I implement this in my whole life is I pay attention to how I talk to myself. And when I start either thinking something negative or saying something negative to myself, I automatically say cancel, clear, delete. My friend Christine, who was a guest on the podcast one time, Christine Clifton. she shared that little phrase with me and I've been using it ever since. So cancel, clear, delete. And then I replace it with some kind of a positive affirmation. what I'm doing there is trying to retrain my thought patterns and retrain my brain. Okay. And so that's how I use affirmations. Journaling. Okay, I'm. You guys know I'm a big Chandler because, like, probably at least 80% of the time on these podcasts, I give you some kind of a journaling question to use. So write about your thoughts, your feelings and experiences to gain deeper self-awareness and acceptance.
Tina (00:26:41) - And I always say, one of the things I love about journaling is like it's a step into communicating with your subconscious, your higher self, your intuition. And I love doing like a short meditation or some breathwork to get in a relaxed place and then doing some journaling. And, you know, I'll ask myself some questions and I'll write down what comes up. I feel like journaling is one of the most powerful practices that we can implement in our life. next, surround yourself with positivity. Spend time with people who uplift and support you. Now I just want to add, yes, surround yourself with as much possible, positivity as you can. But this does not mean that you always have to be a positive person. It's so important to allow yourself to feel the way you're feeling. So if you're feeling sad, or if you're feeling frustrated or anxious or stressed, it's very important to acknowledge that feeling in your body and allow yourself to feel it and move through it. Otherwise it's going to come up at another time.
Tina (00:27:43) - You can't like, you know, stuff down feelings and expect them to just go away. They come up at some point. And so I think it's very important to move through your feelings. Okay. So when I say surround yourself with positivity, you do have control over some of the things that you surround yourself with, like people. some people. Right. So there's some people you have to deal with on a daily basis. This could be family member. This could be someone you have to work with. And you know, a way of handling their negativity, if that's what you're trying to avoid, is by setting boundaries or spending less time with them, there's different ways that you could improve that part of your life. You could also so you have control over what you expose yourself to. As far as like media, you know, like TV, movies, social media, email, emails, whatever, whatever you have exposure to. There's so many things music. So you have control over that.
Tina (00:28:42) - So there's different ways to add positivity in, but you can't be expected to always be positive. Okay. Lastly, forgive yourself. So let go of the past mistakes and recognize that you're constantly growing and learning. This is so important because once you learn to be more in the present moment with yourself and, you know, forget about all of the past because it doesn't really exist anymore. And stop worrying about the future because you really can't absolutely control it and start just being present with yourself. But being present with yourself in a kind and loving way is so important. So looking back of all all the things that constantly, seem to be draining you, that you feel either shame about or, you feel guilty about whatever it is that you're feeling about some of the past decisions you made. You need to forgive yourself because you can't change that at this point, and it's hard to move forward into, you know, a path to self-love when you're beating yourself up for something that you did ten years ago. And so forgiving yourself is really important just as much as forgiving other people, too.
Tina (00:29:52) - Because all that does holding that grudge against yourself or other people takes so much energy, okay? And it really isn't. It doesn't add a positive energy into your life. And you do have control over forgiveness. Okay. So as you can see, self-care and self-love are like a dynamic duo. As I said, they're like, they're connected, they're interconnected. And there are two, you know, they go hand in hand with each other. and by kind of weaving these practices into your daily routine, you could create a more resilient and joyful, happy existence. You could really enjoy your life a whole lot more. So remember start small, be consistent. Consistent is really key. And that's why starting small is the best way to start and treat yourself with kindness that you deserve. Remember, every step you take brings you closer to a life filled with peace, happiness, and self-acceptance. And as I always like to say, flow right that that feeling of flow. Now, I'm not always in this magical space of flow in my life, but I see bits and pieces of it all the time because of all these practices that I do.
Tina (00:31:08) - And so, and I note it when I'm in that state of flow, I note it and I'm aware of it. So as I said, I am going to leave you with some an easy action step that you could do. Okay. And I've definitely talked about this before on the podcast, but I think it's one of the easiest things to implement because it really could just take about five minutes out of your life. so I want you to start checking in with yourself twice a day. So this would be ten minutes, maybe five minutes in the morning. Five minutes at night. Those are the two places that are easiest to add into your life. But if you work like different hours from different people, say you work nights. I want you to look at where it's easiest for you. So everybody has different schedules. So look at where you could add this in and where it would be substantially beneficial for you to add this check in. Okay. I want you to find a happy spot someplace that you can go each time.
Tina (00:32:05) - Because what this does is it anchors in these feelings as you move into that spot. So you'll do this practice in this spot every time. And then as weeks go by and you continue to do it, every time you sit in that spot, your body is going to automatically say, oh, this is where we check in. So it will automatically go into a relaxed state. Just being in that, in that spot. That's what an anchor is. so it could be a favorite chair, a bed, you know, whatever it is in your home. Okay. It could also be anywhere that you can have a moment of privacy. So that's kind of a shout out to all the moms out there that have children that don't even let them go to the bathroom alone sometimes. And so, you know, those places where you can have a moment of privacy, whether it's sometimes it is the bathroom, sometimes it's your car, sometimes it's your closet. And I know that sounds silly, but let me tell you, those were my hiding places when my kids were little.
Tina (00:32:57) - And so, I know you're out there. All the people that have had to use those spaces to just get a little bit of peace. then I want you to close your eyes, okay? And I want you. What I really want you to do is get in with your body. I mean, get, in touch, like, with the feelings in your body. As I talked about earlier, I talked about getting present. This is what I'm talking about. Because if you don't slow down and take the time to tune into your body, you're not really going to be able to, like, get anything out of this exercise. So you're going to close your eyes, maybe put your hands on your heart center, or maybe just lay them on your legs. And I want you to take a really, really deep breath in through your nose, filling your belly, then filling your chest. And then I want you to hold at the top for a second. And then as you exhale through your mouth with a sigh.
Tina (00:33:54) - I want you to release all the tension in your body. Release your shoulders down, away from your ears. Let your jaw fall open. Let the tongue float to the top of your mouth. Relax your neck and your back muscles. Maybe close your eyes and let your eyes roll back into your head, okay? And just really relax all those muscles in your body and do this a few times. So until you really feel present in your in your body. And then after that, when you feel present, I want you to ask yourself, how do I feel? And then all you have to do is listen. What comes up? Ask yourself again, what do I need right now in this moment? And listen again, okay. So you might say to yourself, Tina, what am I listening for? Is someone going to talk to me? And the answer is yes. It's really. It's like your higher self, your intuition talking to you, your subconscious mind. And when, when, when you're hearing something coming from those places, it's not going to be this loud, obnoxious voice, which is your ego.
Tina (00:35:00) - It's going to be this a quick nudge. It's going to be a quiet little, quick little nugget of information. It's not going to be like this long, drawn out roundabout of a sentence. It's going to be just a quick little nudge. It's going to be your intuition, a quiet answer. So listen to what pops up instantly and quietly, and don't question it, because a lot of us will be like, oh, what was that? That just came up like that? That couldn't be it. And then you're then you're, your ego starts popping in and saying things like, well, of course you know what you need? You need some rest. You never you never rest anything. You know, that's your ego. Just like any anything that's badgering you or negative, it shouldn't be a negative voice, okay? This is the most important step. this next step right here is give yourself what you need. Okay. So this sounds like a really simple practice. And it is, but it's not always hard.
Tina (00:35:57) - I mean, I'm sorry. It's not always easy to implement it, but over time it gets easier. So stick with it. Don't give up because it didn't seem to work or it didn't feel good or it didn't work out the way you plant. All right, keep doing it. Because let me tell you, once you connect to your higher self, to your intuition, to your subconscious, and you start checking in with yourself, you learn so much. And once you start giving yourself what you need, even if it just takes a few minutes a day, it really changes the way you feel in your body. Okay, so give yourself what you need. Now I'm quite aware of life's pressures, all the responsibilities that we have, all the to do's we have. But in this moment, I want you to ask yourself, like if you really want to or you feel you need to, like I did, I needed to implement self-care and self-love in order to keep myself alive. but I would I would implore you not to wait till that point that I got to and start to do this, because this is the one of the most, beautiful gifts that you can give yourself.
Tina (00:37:04) - So this is the moment that you decide to figure it out, right? You're busy. Figure it out, put your needs first. Because when you do, you begin to morph into this best version of yourself and that best version you get to share with your kids, your partner, your family, your friends, your business, your career. Right? So this is where I tell you that putting yourself first is not selfish, because when you put yourself first and take this time for yourself, you turn into this person, this better version of yourself to present to your kids, to present to you, partner. All right, so this isn't just about loving yourself and taking care of yourself. This is about taking care of everybody you love. Okay? So in this moment, say you're the mom. You have three kids screaming on the other side of the bathroom door that needs you. Now. And your body. One of the messages you got during this short check in with yourself is that you need rest, right? So.
Tina (00:38:03) - So what do you do in that moment? You you need to just start to get creative. So how can you get your kids to sit with you and have some rest? So like, can you teach your kids breathwork by pretending to blow out a candle? Can you teach your kids meditation? Can you do an art activity? A lot of times when you do art with kids, they get really quiet because they're really tuned into, you know, coloring, painting, whatever it is they're doing. so what can you do that would be soothing not just to you, but also to your kids. So what is a creative way to do this? How can you add this in? Maybe later, like you say to yourself, there's no way this is happening today. But later on tonight I'm going to take a bath and I'm going to do a quick guided meditation. While I'm in the bath, I'm going to ask. Ask whoever to, you know, keep the kids busy or I'm going to wait until they go to bed.
Tina (00:38:59) - Okay. so, how can you clear an hour for yourself on that weekend? You could say to your significant other or anyone, a parent or a caregiver, that you just need a break for an hour, and, you know, it's up to you to create that space for yourself. No one else is going to do it. Even your partner, who loves you more than anything, isn't going to just automatically do this unless they know that you need that, right. Creating this space for yourself does not have to look perfect. There's no such thing, okay? You just have to do it. You have to get creative and do it. So when you start caring for yourself, doing this self-care and at the deepest level, you know, and loving yourself this way too, what happens is you begin to teach people how to treat you. It's just this amazing thing that happens. It's kind of like setting boundaries, okay, you're teaching people how you expect to be treated. You're also a role model for everyone around you.
Tina (00:40:00) - Okay, so when people are watching you, especially those little people, those kids that we raise, they're learning, that this is not this is not acceptable and this is acceptable. Right. And it helps them be able to implement boundaries and take care of themselves and know that it's okay to rest. It's okay to set boundaries. It's okay to feel your feelings. Right. So you're a role model. So, well, as promised, you know, at the beginning of this podcast, I told you I would share with you a couple of freebies. Well, I only talked about one of them, which is the the balance sheet. So I will put a link in the show notes for the balance sheet. And you could set up a free quick call with me so I could, teach you how to use the balance sheet. And I would love to do that for you. So I don't offer this very often. And, I'm probably not going to keep it open for too long. I don't want to, like, completely overwhelm myself or my schedule.
Tina (00:41:02) - Self-care. Self-love. Right. So I'm going to keep it out there for a little while. So if you really want to take advantage and then the balance sheet is for that first step of getting started with self-care, identifying your needs. That's what this does. And it's something I will give to you and you could use for the rest of your life. So it's just a tool that you can use. That, has been magical in my life, and I use it with a lot of my clients, so I hope that you do enjoy it. Also, there's going to be a link to my free meditation bundle. These are my most downloaded meditations. I am a certified meditation teacher and I create meditations for aura. I love doing it. I create original meditations for my clients also, and very soon I'm going to be offering an option to create your own customized meditation and affirmation recording. you know, and it's going to be customized to whatever you want to achieve or something that you're going through to help you move through your life or get to that next point in your life.
Tina (00:42:05) - And so that's going to be something that I'm going to be offering soon. So be sure to get on my email list. There'll be a link in the show notes for that also. And you'll hear about that first hand that's coming up. And within the next week probably that I'll be doing that. But for now you can grab my free meditation bundle. As I said, my my three most downloaded meditations so far. and they're, they're good for beginners, right? So they're not super long. They're pretty short. One of them's, you know, like three minutes long. And so I would love to share these with you. So go grab them in the show notes. And I want to thank you for joining me today and taking this time for yourself, because when you're listening to this podcast, this is a form of self-care. This is you putting yourself first, learning what you could do for yourself. This is also you learning something new, possibly. Okay. And so these are two things that I would put on my list and check them off as self-care and self-love.
Tina (00:43:05) - So remember to always infuse self-care and self-love into your everyday activities. And I love you. I'll see you next week. Bye.
