Years and years ago when I first started on my healing journey,
I would hear all the time how I had to work on my mindset.
I had to reset my mindset.
And at the time, I didn't really know what that meant.
And I'm sure a lot of you are in the same boat
that I was at the time.
And so today, I have special guest Shirley Buckon.
Now Shirley is a dedicated mindset transformation coach,
specializing in trauma and abuse recovery,
drawing from her own remarkable journey of overcoming years
of severe abuse and trauma.
In addition to her coaching expertise,
she is also an energy healer helping individuals
find healing and empowerment.
Her life's mission is to inspire and guide others
on their path to recovery, resilience,
and personal transformation.
Let's get into it.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
You're listening to the Soul Aligned Self-Care Podcast.
I'm your host, Tina Stinson.
And I had a stroke at the age of 39
from stress and burnout that shook my world.
Now I'm laying it all out.
The deep-level self-care practices and mindset shifts
that I needed that kept me healthy, balanced, and thriving.
Join me in this intimate space as we explore healing,
resilience, and a soul's journey to alignment.
This is where real conversations about deep-level self-care
happen.
Let's get into it.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Hello and welcome, Shirley, to the Soul Aligned Self-Care
Podcast.
I am so excited to talk to you today.
How are you doing?
I'm doing great.
I'm excited to be here.
Thank you.
So to get started, could you let the listeners know a little bit
about yourself and the work that you do?
Yes.
My name is Shirley Bogg.
I am a mother, a grandmother.
I live in the Chicago land area.
My most favorite thing that I do is being a grandmother.
A mother too, but the grand guest and the came along
and took presidents.
But I'm a mindset transformation coach.
And I'm also the author of an international best-selling
book as well.
What's the book's name?
Sweet freedom whispered in my ear.
Nice.
I love books.
I'm a big reader.
So I'll have to talk about that a little bit.
But before we talk about that, can you just tell me how you
started?
How did you move into this work that you do?
How long have you been doing it and stuff like that?
I have been doing it for quite a while.
So I wrote the book to do what I do on a bigger scale,
because I wanted to reach more people
to inspire more people that have been through trauma
and abuse and give them a different way of attempting
to overcome it.
Because I, myself, had been through years
of severe trauma and abuse.
The book goes into it pretty deep,
but I can run through a quick--
my whole childhood, teenage years, I was born to deaf parents.
They were divorced when I was five.
I interpreted the divorce.
I mean, being a child of deaf parents
places a lot of responsibility on you as it is.
And then my mother became an alcoholic.
I lived with my mother.
She became a abusive alcoholic.
And she took her life at my age of 13.
And she tried to take my life as well.
And then it just snowballed into more trauma and abuse
and addictions and eating disorders.
I was everywhere on scale from 80 pounds to 200 pounds.
So I mean, it was a lot of trauma and abuse.
And like I said, the book really tells my story,
but not only tells the story, it actually,
at the end of each chapter, talks about tips
and advice on how I overcame those certain things
that have happened to me.
So it's also a book of tools as well.
Yeah.
I love that.
I love that way you set it up to tell a story,
and then story, solution like that, right?
Cool.
When I've been told for years that I should write a book,
and I just never did it.
And one day, one person and just yet another person
said, you really really need to write a book.
And I don't know why, but it clicked.
I said, yeah, you're right.
When I wrote a book.
So I guess I had to be in a place when I was really
ready to do that, because my way of overcoming
or have that I overcome what I have been through,
was not to live in the past, was not to focus,
was to change my mindset to think a different way,
perceive things a different way.
So for me to go back and revisit isn't something I do.
But it was very helpful.
We had my grandkids, because they kept me here
when I had to go back there.
So that's nice.
Yeah.
That was really a beautiful thing.
And then my publisher was like, wow.
It's kind of intense.
So at the end of the book, I had all kinds of tips
and advice and tools.
And she said, well, why don't you take those
and break it up at the end of each chapter
so you can keep reminding the reader you're OK.
Because otherwise, they're just like, oh my gosh,
what's going on?
Is she OK?
What's happening?
It was really good advice from my publisher.
So I did that.
And I love the way the book came out.
And I had tons, tons of beautiful feedback in it.
It really means a lot to me.
That's cool.
I really love that.
So you say that you deal with--
you've learned to heal from trauma and abuse
in a non-traditional way, right?
So what does that mean?
OK.
So when I was 18, I got my own apartment and my own car.
And I got out of everything I was living in.
And I just thought I'm doing really well.
But I was still partying.
I'm partying was a way of kind of, oh, I'm fine.
I'm partying with my friends and just ignoring the problem.
But at 10, I was 23.
I was engaged.
And to a great guy that I actually trusted, it was a good person.
And I felt safe for the first time.
We moved in together.
And you think when I felt safe for the first time,
everything would be good.
But that's exactly when everything went wrong.
I fell apart.
I had a nervous breakdown.
Couldn't get out of bed.
Couldn't go to work.
Everything just came to the surface.
So I was always told that you should probably
see a therapist for everything you've done over the years.
And I was, no, I'm fine.
I'm fine and fine.
So when it came to that point, I didn't want to see a therapist.
And I'm not saying that it's wrong for people to see therapists.
But in my mind, I was like, OK, all I'm going to do is tell my story,
tell her what happens to me.
We're going to talk about it, talk about it, talk about it.
I'm going to have to focus on the problem.
I don't want to focus on the problem.
And then I feel like if I get upset,
while I'm focusing on the problem, they're going to give me meds.
And then I'm just going to band-aid what I'm feeling while I'm dealing with it.
And I was like, I just want a different way.
So I started grabbing.
I've always been very independent because I've pretty much on my own most of my life.
But so I had this, I can do this.
I'll do it myself.
So I started devouring every self-help book I possibly could.
And the things that came to me that resonated with me was more along the lines
of changing my mindset, thinking a different way.
And I was really interested in that.
And I started to study different phobias people have.
And you know, something that I would be like, wow, someone really believes that,
that's like, it's like distorted.
And then I'm like, well, what I'm thinking is distorted.
And so it was like, I just started really learning about phobias, thoughts, anxiety, depression,
you know, alcoholism, all this stuff.
And I started to change my mindset and train my mind how to think, how to, and I literally
would, when I got a thought, that I didn't want to think, I would literally, in the beginning,
have to like crumble it up in my mind and imagine me throwing it in the trash can.
Like I did all kinds of exercises, but I, you know, as the years kept going, I just kept
changing my mindset.
And now I have the tools to pretty much think like that most of the time.
Like I'm human, I'm going to have contrast in my life, right?
But I know how to stay aligned.
And I'm also an energy healer.
So, you know, we vibrate on different frequencies.
So I try to stay, you know, on a frequency that's connected to source and stay in a more
positive sense.
But I have the tools to get back there when, you know, things don't go right during the
day or I have a bad week or, you know, things like that.
Yeah.
And I'm talking about, for my past, I'm just talking about life in general.
Yeah, there's always going to be ups and downs, yeah.
Right.
So when that thought pops into your head, the one that you don't want to think and you
crumple it up and throw it away, what is your process to change your mind?
Is it a reframing?
Is it?
Yeah.
It is kind of a reframing.
It's, it's all kinds of different things I do.
Like one of the things I do is, okay, I am aware of my emotional scale.
So I teach people to be aware of their emotional scale.
So if you're not feeling good, you're not thinking good.
Then you start to become more aware of your thoughts.
Then you start to think, you know, well, you start to focus on the abundance of the world
and there's abundance all around us, right?
Trees, animals, flowers, you know, the sky, there's so much abundance, there's so much beauty.
Then you can start, you know, with what you're thankful for and some people that's a real
struggle for because they may be in a situation where it's hard to do that.
So you kind of have to take yourself out of that situation.
I teach taking ownership.
So not blaming somebody else for the way our life is and not saying, you know, well, I
can't do it because this person is always, you know, putting me down or that, you know,
so taking ownership is very powerful.
I teach people to focus on the gifts that they received from whatever they had been through.
And I don't always work with people who've been through severe trauma and abuse.
Some people just get stuck in a certain mindset and are negative and they want to get out
of that.
So, you know, just being aware of the gifts that you've received from things that may not
have been so great that happened to you, you know, a very important one is being child
like learning how to stay child like.
I believe that so many people get caught up in like the news when we're adults.
Like, yeah, there's news, you know, telling us the world's bad, you know, the economy's bad.
There's so many different illnesses out there.
And I mean, I'm not, I'm surprised not everybody's walking around depressed, you know.
Yeah.
I think a lot of people are.
Exactly.
Yeah.
But I don't focus on it.
I don't watch news.
I get a daily skim in my email.
And I do what I can to take steps to participate in things that I believe in, but things I can't
control and I can't do anything about, I don't focus on that, you know, I focus more on what
I, what my circle is and the life I created because it is all perception.
Yeah.
So, you know, it's as easy as there was a time after the pandemic, I was driving back into
the city of Chicago to seek clients.
And every time I drove to the city, there was garbage on the street.
And one of the things I was so proud about our city is like, oh, it's, it's so clean.
It's like a big city, but it's so clean.
And it wasn't.
I was being aware of my emotional scale and like, I feel terrible every time I'm driving
into the city.
So I'm focusing on the garbage.
But why am I focusing on the garbage when I could be looking up at the skylines, the, the
clouds, the trees?
Like, why am I focusing on garbage when I could be focusing on beauty?
And it is that simple.
It's not always easy, but it is that simple.
I agree.
I think it is that simple.
And, and like, there are some things that we control, like, we can control.
And I do a lot of this work with my clients where I teach them how to, I call it decluttering,
but it's not in a sense of, it's not just your space.
Like everything around you.
So the media that you expose yourself to is so important.
And you do have complete control over that.
And I don't watch the news either because it really, it, it changes the way I feel.
And I have to say that that's a lot of beer in, you know, it says, it's, that's what sells.
You know, there's so many good things going on in the world that you could focus on.
And I would, I think it's fair enough to say that there's just as much good things in
the world.
And I'm not being fed that.
I think it's even safe to say that there's more good in the world to be honest because I,
I, I always just to think about this.
I used to think about, okay, I live in the city of Chicago.
Everybody talks like it's the top murder capital of the world.
It's horrible place, right?
And I, I have a friend who lives in New York that told me she's terrified to come to Chicago.
I'm like, you're in New York.
What are you talking about?
Like, I know.
And I'm thinking of myself, there has to be more good in bad in the world because we
all go out every day.
We all participate in life.
You know, most of the time we go out, we're safe.
We're, you know, doing our thing and we come home and we enjoy our family and the things
we have.
And so if the world was as bad as we're constantly being told it is, we wouldn't be able to step
outside and take a walk and do all these things.
I really do believe there's more good.
It's just we're bombarded with more bad news than good news.
We are.
The bad news comes really easy because that's what's pushed towards us.
And the good news is something that you have to be very intentional about and you have to
curate it for yourself.
And so it's like, it's like looking at your social media feed, looking at TV shows you
watch, looking, the music you listen to, like it's like everything.
And then you know, you can go into the people you expose yourself to, the people who you
don't allow in your energy because you know how it makes you feel.
And so there's so many, there's a lot of stuff that we can't control as you said, but there's
a lot of stuff that we can curate in order to make it a more positive view.
And those are the things to really focus on as you said.
And I like the way you put it.
I focus on the, you know, I'm not going to focus on the garbage.
I'm going to focus on the skyline or the sky.
And that's, and I agree with you, it's as simple as that.
It really is. And I want to also like just validate the fact that if you're positive all the
time, it doesn't mean that everything around you is always going to be positive because
we're always having all these ups and downs in our life.
It's about having the tools that you need to be able to respond to those things in a way
instead of react to them, you know, in a concentrated reactivity.
Yes.
And to be easy on ourselves, I think sometimes like when you're in a position where you do
help others, when you have a bad day, then you're like hard on yourself because, you know,
you're like, well, I know better.
I, you know, so, but I also teach to have compassion for yourself and self love is so
important.
So we went and looked at a child that's just learning how to walk and it falls down and
say, get up, dummy.
Yeah.
Why aren't you walking yet?
You know, we have compassion.
We have understanding and we do that for our friends and our family and our loved ones,
but we don't have that for ourselves.
We're always hard on ourselves.
So, being easy on ourselves when we do have a bad day, like, okay, maybe I can't go from
feeling terrible to wonderful, but I can work my way there if I have the tools.
And I'm going to be easy on myself while I'm doing that.
Yeah.
And you mentioned earlier the emotional, what does it call the emotional scale?
Yeah.
And that's a perfect example.
If it's the one that I think you're talking about, where it actually lists the different
vibrations of all the moves that you have, is that what you're talking about?
I don't teach it that way, but yes, yes.
I've seen scale absolutely.
And you can't jump from one end of the spectrum to the other.
Like you do have to, you know, work your way out of it.
Yes.
Yeah.
So you can go from a state of anger or, you know, shame or whatever that feeling is, and you
could just go to a neutral feeling.
You don't have to go from that to happiness because that's kind of like going, like, if
you were driving a car a hundred miles an hour, that's like taking a sharp right at a
hundred without slowing down.
Exactly.
It's right.
That's the momentum.
But if you start getting your momentum going in the right direction, then it just keeps
picking up, you know?
And, yeah, I have a 90 day course that has weekly lessons with daily activities that kind
of helps get your mind in that mindset and that groove in your brain to start thinking in
a different way.
You know, I used to my hands a lot because I'm sign language.
Oh, yeah.
That was my first language.
So I used my hands a lot.
I know somebody was on a podcast was like, boy, you use your hands a lot.
I don't like it.
I know.
I'm sorry.
I'm just from Long Island, New York.
So everybody uses their hands.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That reminds me, the first thing that popped into my head when you said your parents were deaf
was the movie Coda.
And I'm curious, did you see that movie?
I did not.
I do need to see it.
And I've been told about it quite a bit.
So I do want to see that.
I haven't seen it.
It's a sweet movie.
It's very sweet.
Yeah, it's a good movie.
And yeah, what made me really need to watch it.
Yeah, what made me think of it was the, the, the, so the two parents were deaf and the,
the first child who was a, the son was also deaf and then the youngest child, the daughter,
was not deaf.
And she was the translator for the whole family.
Yeah.
Like it was a lot of pressure.
It is.
It is.
I actually don't know.
I don't remember.
I only saw it once, but I, I loved it.
It was about a family in like New England.
It was a fishing family.
So they had a fishing business.
So she had, you know, she, she, when they were selling stuff, she was doing the translation.
She was doing, you know, going out fishing with her father before she went to school.
And so it's like her whole life revolved around supporting the family, you know, which could
be a lot of pressure.
So that was the first thing I thought when you said that to me, I was like, that's just
a lot of things.
Well, that's one of the things when I was, I was like eight, nine or eight.
I wanted to take care of my mother who was in alcoholic and she would get our food stamps
and sell them for alcohol or she would, you know, when she would get her so scared to check,
I would have to say, okay, wait a minute, we have to pay the rent first.
And I wrote out the checks like I took care of her.
So when, you know, one of the main things I had to get over was guilt because I was like,
oh my god, like she committed suicide on my watch.
Like I was supposed to take care of her.
Yeah.
It was huge because that's all I did.
Yeah, that's huge.
And that was not something someone a child should have to do, you know, right, right.
Yeah.
So it's a different world when you grow up with deaf parents for sure.
I could imagine like I can't really imagine, but yeah, you'll have to let me know what you
think of the movie because the whole time I'm watching it, I'm like, I wonder how realistic
this is.
So I'm like, I wonder, I know.
I really do need to watch it.
Yeah.
So talking about mindset again, when you, when you're working with clients, one of the, some
of the things, some of the biggest things that really come up in mindset is it.
Like so my first thought and just I do, I'm a mindset coach also.
And one of the things that I see so often and I'm wondering if you have the same experience
is that, that a lot, I work with a lot of women and a lot of these women are so,
like as you said, so hard on themselves, but they have just like no self love whatsoever,
no self worth.
Like they're, they're, they, it's almost like they've been programmed.
And I do think as women, we are programmed this way to put everybody else first before
themselves.
And so, yeah, even like to stepping out of somebody who's traumatized and, you know, healing
from that, just, just a regular person that grew up as a woman, do you find that you see,
is that what you see also that same type of, that is.
And, and just this week, I started working with a client who has a hard time loving herself
and she, her particular reason is organized religion because they, you know, she grew up
with a very strict organized religion household and they would say like, you're a sinner, you're
unworthy, you're, you know, they always made her, and I don't know how many others, but
she personally always felt unworthy.
You know, so I really had to talk to her the way that I started with self love for me is
I actually went back and revisited myself as a child in meditation and I witnessed my
mother abusing me, hitting me, whatever.
And I went in and I held that child and I told her, you're beautiful, you're wonderful,
please don't think anything less of yourself, you're going to be okay, you're going to
get through this, you're going to be strong, you're going to be, and all of that encouraging
that I was giving this child, I was like, wait a minute, that's me.
That's me.
And I love me, like I would go out and help anyone else who is going through that and I would
encourage them and I would, so why would I be so hard on my self, you know, that child
was me and is me, you know, so those are kind of one of the steps that I kind of talk about
with them too.
And then, and then in her particular case, I was like, so you, because she was like, I love
God, but I feel like he just, I could never be in his presence, you know, and I said, okay,
so you love God.
Yes.
So you think God is this wonderful creator, right?
Yes.
Well, he created you, didn't he?
Well, yeah.
And I said, okay, well, one of the greatest gifts you can give back to him is loving what he
created, loving yourself.
He created you.
He gave you life.
He does not think you're worthless.
He wants to see like, he made the whole world full of abundance.
He wants you to have abundance, like, you know, so, you know, it's just changing the perspective
and even with just one talk, she was starting to say, wow, okay, I never thought of it that
way.
So it's just like, you know, it's just perceiving things differently.
It's a different way of thinking about something, you know, we, we all could like, there could
be two people who have the same experience, one person at a bad experience, one person
at a great experience.
So it's, it is all in perception and the way you think and view things and one of the favorite
things I like to say that my grandma would say is like when it would come to like violent
movies or anything like that, like if you don't want it in your living room, why would you
bring it into your living room?
Mm-hmm.
You know what I mean?
So just turning it on on your TV is bringing it into your living room, right?
So, you know, it's just that perception, the mind thought, changing that, you know,
that, and, you know, self love is very hard.
I think for everybody, but mostly for women, I mean, we're not allowed to age, we're not allowed
to gain weight, we're not allowed to, you know, you were just passing me, we're told you
have to look like this to be beautiful, to be accepted and, and we're all conditioned
as children because, you know, children look at TV and it's like, oh, this is what's accepted,
this is, and, you know, and you have to look like this, you have to act like this, you got
to be cool, you got to, you know, there's so much thrown at us.
And that's why we all have to have our own mind set, our own thoughts, you know, we can't
be influenced by what the world wants us to be.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we can go into like the damage that, like social media causes for children
and, and stuff like that. I mean, that would just be like a whole mother episode, right?
Just that, but I think one of the things that we need to remember and, yeah, women are really
conditioned and depending on your generation, I feel like this has gotten better as for the
younger generations as we, we become, I mean, if you think about it, really, it's just like
two generations ago, women had to get married almost because they couldn't even have their
own bank account.
Like, that's not long ago.
Exactly.
You know, so, so you have to think about how we were conditioned to even just survive, like
you have to be with a man in order to be with a man, you have to look this way, you have
to act this way, be quiet, don't cause too much trouble, don't cause, you know, it's like
color inside the lines, you know, you know, it's just like, this is what we're taught
from young age because our mothers, you know, or our mothers mothers were, you know, this
is how I had to survive.
So I have to show my daughter how to survive.
Right.
And we're slowly moving out of that, obviously.
Yes.
And it's up to us to break that cycle, you know, and, and I had to break all, not only that
cycle, but a cycle of abuse and a cycle of, you know, unworthiness and all this stuff that
I went through and, um, thank God.
I mean, I did a good job.
My kids say I did a good job.
They are, yeah, I mean, we've always been close.
I mean, I never went through that, um, stage where I hate your mom or, you know, they made
it.
Yeah.
I mean, we just, we've always been close and we're still very close.
We travel together.
My son and his wife come over once a week for, uh, movie night, my daughter, I talked to
her 100 times a day and, you know, we see each other three or four times a week, easy.
I see my grandkids a couple of times a week.
So we just have this very close net family and, you know, breaking the cycle, I don't take
that lightly, you know, I, I, it was so important for me to do that.
It was the most important thing for me to do.
And that's another thing is like, be proud of yourself when you do, no matter how small
or how big it is, whatever good steps you're taking to for yourself, be proud of yourself.
It's okay to be proud of yourself.
It's okay.
It's not arrogant.
It's not bad.
But we're, we should love ourselves.
We should be proud of ourselves.
We shouldn't, you know, downplay ourselves.
You know, I, I saw this lady at the coffee shop one day and I was like, Oh my gosh, those
boots are beautiful.
Oh, they were very cheap.
They were, you know, I apologize.
And I was like, think of it.
I don't care how much they cost.
They're beautiful.
And they look lovely on you, you know, and, and people feel like guilty for having something
that someone else might like, you know, and, you know, all those things boil down to
self-love and self-confidence and it's very important to learn self-love.
Yeah.
To be able to receive a compliment, it's a big deal for a lot of ladies.
That's like a, like a, like a, like a first step.
And, and like you said earlier, it's, you know, the exercise going back to your, your
self and all these different age points, you know, and giving yourself like the comfort
that you need.
I feel like that's such a great exercise and I've done that myself.
I even, like, found pictures of myself at the different ages.
So I had like a visual, like, to look at.
Nice.
Right.
And I think that's so powerful because it really helps you realize that we deserve
as adults the same love that that child needs.
And as you said, it's so easy to be nice to a child, so easy to be nice to your loved one,
your children, your best friend.
And it's like, I, you know, I always say it's like love yourself at least as much as you
love everybody else in your life, you know?
Yeah.
I think in order to be able to love and be loved in a healthy, wonderful way, we have to
love ourselves first.
You know, we have to go inside always for anything that we need.
We have to look for happiness from someone else.
Someone else might bring happiness into our lives, but if we depend on them to bring that
happiness, not only do they get resentful, but we get let down, you know?
So it's like, we have to learn to be happy.
And if someone else enhances our life, that's a beautiful thing, but we shouldn't expect
it or, you know, rely on it or pressure them to be that happiness.
And that's, you know, so everything comes from inside.
So we really do have to go inside in order to find the joy.
Yeah, we really do.
It is our responsibility to be able to be alone with yourself and love yourself and
then feel actually feel happy, feel content and fulfilled.
I don't think myself out the dinner and stuff, and I know people that are like, how
would you go out the dinner yourself?
I love it.
I just, you know, I feel like I'm doing something nice for myself and I'm okay with being
on my own.
You know, I can talk to other people and, you know, but even if I don't, I'm totally
with my own company.
Yeah.
And that's a big thing, you know, it is, but anyone can do it.
You just have to do it one time.
And that gets easier.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
A date with yourself, that was like one of my like deep level self-care practices that I share
with some of my clients.
It's like, just go on a date with yourself once a week.
It doesn't have to be an entire day.
She says something you do by yourself, something you love and like something that you make
sure you like really enjoy yourself.
And then it would become a practice that you're going to protect like, you know, it'll
be like one of those things where you're like, nothing comes in between me and my day, my
weekly date.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
So how, how, if you could like leave the listeners with like a tip on how to start, you
know, resetting your mindset, what would you leave them with something quick that they
could?
Well, I think it's important.
I think guided meditation is a great way to start.
I started with guided meditation.
I now, I've been doing it since I was 29 years old.
So now I can just shut down and really be in that space, that silent space, which I love.
Sometimes it's like hard to come out because I just like, oh, so blissful.
But guided meditation, because I know people have really struggled with meditating.
But guided meditation is kind of easy because you can go on and find, you know, if you want
to do guided meditation to raise your vibration to be happier, whatever, whatever you're
searching, you can actually go on you to find a day.
And the one that you need to hear will be the one that you are attracted to.
Like, oh, that one, that's interesting.
You know, it just works that way.
Mm-hmm.
When you seek, you'll find, right?
Yes.
So then you just let this person and if thoughts come into your mind, don't, you know,
get angry at yourself or like, oh, get out of here.
Just let it pass.
Let it pass.
You're just, you're just new to this.
And if you don't, if it doesn't feel right the first few times, it's okay.
Just keep doing it.
I think meditation is a great way to quiet your mind because only when your mind is quiet
can like ideas and opportunities and things come to you.
Otherwise, we're constantly thinking and we can't allow.
We're not in the receptive mode at that point, you know?
And to get in that receptive mode where you can receive what you need and what you're searching
for, quiet in your mind, I think is the first place to start.
Yeah.
Well, I agree with you like wholeheartedly.
I am a meditation instructor and I create meditations for aura and one of my, it's one of
my favorite things to do is create meditations and I create custom meditations for people
also and, and for my clients.
Right.
Yeah, it's exactly what you said.
And I also try to tell people you could always start small too because that's how I started.
I have a very busy mind.
I'm very kind of like type A. And so like meditating doesn't come easy for me.
And so, you know, it's about setting the stage like you said, like now I can go into it,
right?
Because your body knows exactly how to do it.
So when you set the stage and you put little anchors around you, so like every time I
meditate, I sit in this chair, every time I meditate, I use this pillow or this blanket.
And then when you start to go into that chair and you get grab your favorite pillow or blanket,
your body's like, Oh, we're meditating.
So we're going to, we're going to shut down a little bit.
And, and just like with the thoughts, like you said, some people have some kind of an expectation
that you can just shut the thoughts off and you absolutely cannot.
Like it's like saying, okay, I'm going to stop my heart for, you know,
10 minutes, it's the same as asking your heart to stop beating.
Your mind is going to always be thinking.
And so as you exactly what you said, that's one of the things meditation was another thing
that helped me realize that there is definitely a being inside of me, a soul inside of me,
because it's not just my mind controlling me.
I've learned to control my mind, which is a is is proof to me that I'm separate from my
mind.
Yes.
You're connecting with your soul.
You're connecting with your heart.
Exactly.
Exactly.
And that was a big realization for me.
And another thing I would like to say that, you know, if there's things in your path, one
that really keep bothering you and keep, you know, they just stay in your mind.
You have to know that the past really doesn't exist unless you give a thought.
It does not exist unless you give a thought.
So you can choose, like I have great memories in my past that I would choose to remember
and think of, but there are things that I'm like, no, I don't want that alive in my life
anymore.
The abusers are not in my life anymore.
Why am I allowing them to continue to abuse me?
Why am I still thinking about that?
Why am I giving that power, giving that thought?
So for me, just a powerful sentence is the, you know, the past does not exist unless you
give it thought.
That was, that was like a huge for me years and years ago, like, oh, wow, yeah, you're right.
Yeah.
It doesn't exist unless you give it thought, you know, so it's, it's those simple things.
That's it.
I think that's a perfect way to end today's episode.
I think it was such a great conversation.
But could you let the listeners know how they can connect with you?
Yes.
Just Shirley Buck.com.
That's my website.
The name of my business is really alternative healing, but Shirley Buck.com is the domain
that you can go to.
And my book is Sweet Freedom Whistper in my ear.
You can get that on Amazon.
And I was just told that it's also being sold at Walmart now, which was a shocking thing
to me.
I was like, oh, wow, really?
Yeah.
So you know, other places too.
So I was pretty, like, Walmart's got what?
Yeah.
That's cool.
Yeah.
So, you know, I mean, like, the, my author name is S.A. Buck.
Okay.
So I'll put those links in the show.
I'll put them in the show.
I'll put them in the show.
I'll put them in the show.
I'll put them in the show.
I'll put them in the show.
I'll put them in the show.
I'll put them in the show.
I'll put them in the show.
I'll put them in the show.
I'll put them in the show.
I'll put them in the show.
I'll put them in the show.
I'll put them in the show.
I'll put them in the show.
I'll put them in the show.
I'll put them in the show.
I'll put them in the show.
I'll put them in the show.
I'll put them in the show.
I'll put them in the show.
I'll put them in the show.
I'll put them in the show.
open to sharing your story and sharing your wisdom with us.
Thank you so much.
