Speaker 1 (00:00:00) - Hey, guys, I have just one question for you today. How would you like to go from people pleaser to peace? Well, I have a special guest on Doctor Marcia Martin, and she is a heart healer who specializes in helping people heal their relationships with themselves so that they can move on and thrive in their lives. So let's get into today's episode. You're listening to the Soul Aligned Self-care podcast. I'm your host, Tina Stinson, and I had a stroke at the age of 39 from stress and burnout that shook my world. Now I'm laying it all out. The deep level self-care practices and mindset shifts that I needed that kept me healthy, balanced, and thriving. Join me in this intimate space as we explore healing, resilience, and the soul's journey to alignment. This is where real conversations about deep level self-care happen.
Speaker UU (00:00:58) - Let's get into it.
Speaker 1 (00:01:07) - Hey, guys, before we get started, I have something new and exciting to share with you. For everyone out there that has been feeling like you're juggling a million things at once, and all of your self-care just keeps slipping through the cracks.
Speaker 1 (00:01:18) - I completely get it. That's why I'm so excited to tell you about something that will be a game changer. It's called the Soul Aligned Self-care circle. Just picture this. It's a space where you could finally put yourself first without any guilt. It's all about stepping into your power while embracing deep level self-care. I'm talking about saying goodbye to stress, anxiety, overwhelm, and burnout and saying hello to some peace, flow and yes, thriving in your life. So what's inside the circle? Well, we've got weekly coaching and connection calls where we catch up, share advice and give each other that much needed boost. Plus, there are these awesome weekly journal prompts that really help me dig deep and gain clarity. And let's not forget our weekly meditation and breathwork sessions. They're like a mini vacation for your soul. This is a space to heal the nervous system, reconnect and protect your power, and then thrive. Oh, and there's something also that's really cool. We've got these weekly affirmation wallpapers for your phone, so they're like little reminders that keep you going even on those tough days.
Speaker 1 (00:02:26) - And guess what? We've got guest speakers dropping by, sharing their wisdom and bonus masterclasses to level up your self-care game. But you know what the best part is? It's the vibe that we got going on in there. It's like hanging out with your best friends, except we're all on this journey of healing, self-discovery, and growth together. We laugh, we support each other. We're just there for each other through all of it. So if you're ready to prioritize yourself and create a life filled with balance, flow, and success, then come join us at the Soul Alliance Self-care circle. Trust me, you won't regret it. Let's do this together. You could find the link in the show notes, and until we start in June, it's going to be at the low launch price, so be sure to get in now. Okay guys, let's get into it. Hello, Marsha, welcome to the Soul Online Self-care podcast. I am so happy to have you here today. How are you doing?
Speaker 2 (00:03:22) - I'm doing really well.
Speaker 2 (00:03:23) - Thank you.
Speaker 1 (00:03:25) - To get started, if you could just share a little bit about yourself for the audience and what you do, that would be fantastic.
Speaker 2 (00:03:33) - I am the heart healer because I help people recover from abuse and trauma by clearing the energetic Heart center. So I get to spend my entire day working with the beings of the energetic realm and helping people to recognize who they are, as opposed to who they may believe they are based on past conditioning. That isn't usually very kind.
Speaker 1 (00:04:01) - Oh my gosh, that's, that makes a lot of sense when you just said who they believe they are, that's like that's very deep. How did. Go ahead. I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (00:04:10) - Well, I was just going to say for myself, I did not realize how much of a disconnect there was until I started to really well, first got into such a state of depression that it was just nowhere to go from here but up, and then having to understand or unravel this whole. Illusion that I had created based on other people's beliefs, so that I could step into a place where I actually.
Speaker 2 (00:04:44) - Could find someone that I could admire. I couldn't get to the love part yet, but I could at least admire that person's values. Whereas while I was living as someone else for other people, I would say, I don't know. I don't feel good about that, but oh, it will make Mary happy, or Sam or Steve or Joe or whatever. And, you know, I just kept selling out until it became so consuming that I got lost.
Speaker 1 (00:05:19) - Yeah, I feel like a lot of women do this. I feel like, would you say that you were somewhat of a people pleaser?
Speaker 2 (00:05:26) - 109,000%? Yes.
Speaker 1 (00:05:30) - Me too. I'm in that club, too. not so much anymore. But I was like, I always describe myself as a professional. I was a professional people pleaser. And I think that, for myself, I can only speak for myself, really, that I did this. It was like a survival technique. Right. And to, you know, to to be able to avoid any type of conflict, you know, and so but it became so natural in my body over time from doing it for so long in my life, from when I was younger, you know, from when and then moving into, like a marriage, you know, and doing it for so long that it was just something I did, I, I was like a chameleon, so to speak, where I would turn into whatever that other person that was around me.
Speaker 1 (00:06:16) - I thought they wanted me to be. They weren't doing this to me. I was doing it to myself. So I feel like this is something that is very common. I believe with women more more than men. I'm I'm sure there's men that go through the same thing, but I feel like this is extremely common for women. Would you agree?
Speaker 2 (00:06:36) - I would not only agree, but I love the fact that you chose you the word chameleon, because that was always the way I described myself. You know what color do you need me to be so that you can feel whatever you want to feel? And I won't then feel burdened by your sadness or your anger or your whatever you may be feeling, because I'm so worried that I created it, since I can feel it, and I don't have any direct director telling me just because you can feel it doesn't mean you created it there. They create their own stuff. You're just able to feel what they are creating. So with no external source saying and guiding and telling me, it's lovely that you can feel these things, but it doesn't make you responsible or that doesn't mean that you've created them.
Speaker 2 (00:07:34) - So just like you, chameleon to my way and trying also to be invisible, maybe if I'm invisible, they won't notice that I'm this horrible person that's making them sad or angry or whatever it is that is not what they want to feel. Very much the please, please, please. And as that goes on, you really recognizing whoever you were? Has been buried under so many layers that it's really not there anymore, or it's there, but you don't remember what it was. Yes. And and then we get into those uncomfortable patterns that have been practiced for so long that they feel like they are the only way that we are supposed to act or be.
Speaker 1 (00:08:29) - Yeah, yeah. And I found that one of the side effects of being a chameleon is having all these different people in your life that think you're a certain way. And then when you all of a sudden decide that you're going to reconnect with yourself and you're going to heal and you're going to do all this work that you look at all these people in your life and you're like, I have nothing in common with these people because I was just being what they wanted me to be.
Speaker 1 (00:08:57) - Well, what I thought they wanted me to be. As I said before, it was nothing that they did to me on purpose, you know? But, another thing I find is when you are a people pleaser, you do kind of a attract a certain type of person that, like that type of behavior. So, you kind of complement each other in the worst kind of way, so to speak.
Speaker 2 (00:09:22) - So, absolutely, their insecurity is calling to your insecurity. And as people pleasers, not only do we want to please you, but we get great satisfaction about out of believing that we are your solution because we've spent so long denying who we are or allowing ourselves to be magnificent in any way. Because it's really important that you be magnificent and we come last. We've done that for so long that now we need to live our lives vicariously through you because we don't have a life anymore. We we've given our life to you. And when we start taking it back, yeah, there's that like.
Speaker 2 (00:10:07) - What is this person talking about and why would they think I would be interested in that? Yeah, or what is this insane behavior and why am I sitting here or participating in it.
Speaker 1 (00:10:22) - Yeah. And when you do finally become aware of that, you know what the, the, the patterns are in your life and then you start to heal and then you start to, really step. I call it reconnecting with yourself because it almost feels like you're you have to disconnect from your, your true self inside. maybe even a disconnection from your heart, so to speak, that you're you have to, like, learn how to reconnect to yourself. Something that's just naturally supposed to be there. And once you start doing that, all these things in your life start to shift. You have people leaving your life, you have new people coming in, and it feels more. one of the words I always use is flowy, you know, so it feels. Yes, it feels more flowy. You feel more relaxed, you feel more happy, more joy, more love in your life.
Speaker 1 (00:11:20) - And it's just such a, such a better feeling. And when you've been living as a people pleaser for so long and you realize how long that you lived without feeling that comfort that you feel when you're just being authentically yourself, you always like for me, it was just like, wow. Like that was a long time that I lived like that. And I'm glad I finally, discovered how to, like, really step into myself and my power. And I feel like it was something that I had to do, like, by myself on my own. not meaning not working with somebody or something like that, but, like, I couldn't be in a relationship. And I kind of really went into, like, this hibernation and didn't hang out with a lot of my friends, or I wasn't dating anybody and stuff like that. And I felt I kind of felt like I needed that space, like almost like being like a little, what do they call a recluse? Like, just like in my little cave for a little time, you know? So, how did you, how what was your experience when you decided to, like, reconnect with yourself or whatever you would call it?
Speaker 2 (00:12:35) - Well, I think it's important to really look at that hermit stage and not judge yourself.
Speaker 2 (00:12:41) - Yeah, I think we need to also remember that it looking back, we may say, oh, you know, what was wrong with me? That I thought that I needed to give so much of myself away to so many people. But let's remember that you are a young little being, and you are. Starting off on this path because for whatever reason, you don't feel safe in the environment in which you're being raised. You don't feel loved, you don't feel seen. You don't feel heard. You don't feel that your needs are being met or that you're being nurtured. And so as a survival mechanism, you're coming up with ways so that you can be. Safe as a relative term in that environment in which you are having to grow, even if there is no outward abuse, just the fact that you may be growing up in a family that thinks the sky is orange and you think the sky is blue could be enough to make you feel, especially as a child, when you're unable to take care of your basic needs, that there is something wrong with you.
Speaker 2 (00:14:00) - That majority rules certainly is impactful when you can't drive yourself to your job and to the grocery store, or get on public transportation or do any of these things. So. If you are growing up with this, well, there must be something wrong with me because I'm not like the others. You need some time by yourself to unpack what you do want to keep and what you are saying. No, I don't identify with that and it's okay for me to let it go. So I think it's really important that we do have this time. in whatever way it looks like to you. In your particular case, you really went. Into that deep solo space. Other people can have more. Involvement with others or, you know, stay in that. So we don't want to suggest that it has to look like your journey or my journey. My journey was also very much inward and just doing what I needed to do to make sure my children were okay, but isolating from pretty much everything else. But that had been.
Speaker 2 (00:15:20) - I had been going on that trajectory for a while. I had been withdrawing from everything. I think as my marriage got worse, I withdrew further and further because there was some embarrassment of, you know, what am I still doing in this relationship even though I wasn't ready to leave it? So. It's okay to withdraw as far as you need to in order for you to meet yourself and understand which parts of you feel good and in alignment with your truth, and which parts you have put on, like extra layers of clothing, because that made other people comfortable.
Speaker 1 (00:16:05) - Yeah, I think that's very important point to to make is that everybody's experience is going to be different and you have to be able to tune in and really, ask yourself what you need in that moment. And I felt I feel like that hermit stage, I love that stage. I almost love it a little too much, you know? So it's like, But I think what was so powerful about doing that is I brought myself into a place of happiness without putting that on anyone else, without any type of expectation.
Speaker 1 (00:16:40) - And when you can really be in a place where you're alone and you could be happy in your own skin, then you that that's I feel like that's where you need to be. And I felt I needed to be in a place like that before I started any other type of relationships with anyone, because I felt almost responsible for the dysfunction of some of the relationships I have, even with some of my, you know, some of my girlfriends just, you know, just because I was, not intentionally, but pretending to be this person that I wasn't. And then all of a sudden I'm like, nope, this is the real me, you know? You know? And then they're like, who is this person? You know, I don't recognize this person.
Speaker 2 (00:17:24) - Yeah, I'm not sure I'm comfortable with her anymore. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (00:17:27) - And so I felt like in order to have an authentic, deep relationship, like, friendships and like, romantic relationships, I really needed to be in a place where I was happy.
Speaker 1 (00:17:41) - Exactly where I was. And so that was my goal, and I, I love the place I am, you know, and so getting to that point took a while, and I, I don't think I would have gotten there as quickly if I didn't completely retreat. And I had I, I understand that a lot of people don't have, the opportunity to completely do that all the time. You know, if they're in a relationship that it's difficult to come out of a relationship, even if it's dysfunctional, it's very difficult. And so, sometimes it's really hard to completely retreat or if you have children that you're responsible for. So my, my children, when I went into this stage, my children were grown like I wasn't in a relationship. So I had like the perfect like situation to do the the hermit stage, so to speak. And so I felt like I was kind of lucky to be able to do that and be able to experience that.
Speaker 2 (00:18:37) - And I think it's all fabulous that you were able to.
Speaker 2 (00:18:41) - And what you're really expressing is the ultimate, which is joy. You are now living a life of joy because you have stepped back into the space of Tina. And that is brilliant. So congratulations and how wonderful that you were able to. Have that space available to you when you needed it. But I think we need to make sure. And you said something really important, which is it took a long time. If you are entering this phase of discovery and you are setting a clock or looking at the calendar and saying, well, in two weeks I need to have this figured out. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (00:19:25) - Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:19:27) - Yeah. Don't set yourself up for defeat. That way it will happen as it happens. And once you get started, it's never going to stop because you're going to love the growth so much that you are never going to want to crawl into that shell of oblivion. Where you were. Not you.
Speaker 1 (00:19:48) - Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:19:49) - Always going to want to be growing and expanding. However your level of of. Or your circle will probably expand.
Speaker 2 (00:20:01) - And then there may be times when it will contract again. Oh, yeah. You know, just let it go with it. Whatever. It feels best to you. Be your own best friend.
Speaker 1 (00:20:12) - Yeah, yeah. When I, when I started doing this, it was not intentional at all. It wasn't like I was well, not dating was intentional. I was like, I need to just like, figure this out, you know, because I yeah, because I was dating and I just kept attracting the same type of person. And I was like, this is a lesson of some sort, and I don't know what it is. And until I figure it out, I'm not going to date anymore because I don't want any more of that, like, I don't I'm done with that. So I was like, I'm attracting this type of person for a reason, so I need to figure this out. So I was intentionally not dating, but I didn't purposefully like say, okay, I'm going into my Herbert stage now and I'm going to stay there for a couple years.
Speaker 1 (00:20:52) - It wasn't like that at all. It was more like like just kept going in inward and being like, what do I need? What do I what's the lesson I need to learn? How do I move forward? And then the more I did this, the more I stepped into myself. And then what happened? And I, I say this to my clients all the time. I'm like, why don't you start setting boundaries and really taking care of yourself and really loving yourself? There's going to people that there's going to be people in your life that just fall away. It's not like this. There's this big dramatic event where you have this argument with someone and then they're out of your life. It just really it's like this gradual thing and it sounds scary. Like if I said that to someone, like, people are going to fall in and out of your life. It might sound scary at the time, but because the transformation is over a certain amount of time and then it's just a gradual thing and then it feels right because you are becoming a different person than you were before.
Speaker 1 (00:21:50) - And those people, the people that are falling away, they don't feel right anymore. And that's why they're falling away. And then at the same time, you're attracting all these new people that are aligned with who you truly are coming into your life. And so it's like this great, like little switch, so to speak, and, to make it sound a little less scary. So, yeah, I would say that probably this was about anywhere from 3 to 5 years of my life, really. You know, and as you said, once you you step into that new version of yourself. it's absolutely I can't even put myself in that situation anymore. Like, it's it it doesn't like even I can't even allow it to come into my space. It's not nothing intentional that I'm doing. I'm just automatically it's just like a, instinctual thing, like a if I even feel something that feels like that old, you know, that old version, well, you're.
Speaker 2 (00:22:53) - No longer a match, you know? Yeah.
Speaker 1 (00:22:55) - Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:22:55) - You're not there to meet them where they are. You're here and you're calling others who are here so that together you can help each other go even higher. Yeah, but, you know, we started in that place.
Speaker 1 (00:23:12) - Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:23:13) - And I think it's important, as you said, it's not going to. You're not going to wake up one day. I need to go on a spiritual quest.
Speaker 1 (00:23:22) - Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:23:24) - It's going to kind of come to you in bits and pieces. You'll do well for a while. You may do just throw it all away for a while, let it evolve in the way that it wants to. That feels organic and good to you so that you can actually absorb what you're learning. Because if you try to do it in any kind of formal way, I have to have this done. And by this time, you're not really going to get the full benefit. So flow is my new favorite word. I love that you use that word as well. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:24:00) - Chameleon and flow. Chameleon is the old me. New me is. Oh, so if I am not. Feeling that I am able to move through this smoothly, then I can examine what I am doing the to resist this opportunity to flow. And that is so much easier than yeah, I have 16 mountains to climb by the end of the day, and if I don't climb them, then I'm a failure and I have to wake up tomorrow recognizing that I'm a failure. And now I have 20 mountains to climb because I, I never got those first 16 climbed and I got four more that came up overnight. It's a tough life.
Speaker 3 (00:24:49) - Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:24:50) - Lived from that perspective of I'm not good enough.
Speaker 1 (00:24:55) - Yeah. And it's not necessary. It's not necessary. Yeah. Oh and one of the things I want to point out to that, something you said that reminded me of this is that when you're, when you're living as a chameleon, so to speak, and you're kind of disconnected with yourself, you're not really tuned in to your intuition and your body and you're not really, feeling if something's aligned or it's not aligned, like right now, like I just said a few minutes ago, like, if something's not aligned, I can't even do it.
Speaker 1 (00:25:27) - I can't even pretend to do it. Right. Terrible liar. Like, I just I can't even do it. But once you start to, like, really take care of yourself and love yourself and respect yourself and do all those things, you nurture yourself. You're connected with that, that intuition, that knowing. And it's like a puzzle piece, you know, you know, when you like, put a puzzle piece in, you know, that feeling you get of satisfaction, that very like little boost of satisfaction you get in that second that to me, that's what it feels like when something's aligned. And so you can really, You could really just move into that state of flow. And if you're having like a stressful day or something's coming up, you could just take a step back for a minute like, you know, take a deep breath and be like, okay, what do I need right now in this moment? What do I need to do? Like, because I'm not not feeling right and I'm feeling that in my body that something's not aligned and I don't know what it is because I'm stressed out.
Speaker 1 (00:26:26) - So let me take a step back. And I think it's so important to give ourselves that space to be able to tune in to how our bodies feel, because we have all the tools we need to know what's right and wrong for ourselves, what's going to help us flow like nobody's perfect, obviously, but you have all the tools that you need to be able to to feel what's aligned and what's not aligned, and you just have to start to tune into it by very simply slowing down long enough, you know, and listening, taking a deep breath and asking the questions, what do I need right now? How do I move forward? Like I feel like that's so important? so I guess my question to you too would also be, I feel like there's a lot of people right now in the world who are overwhelmed. I feel like almost everybody's overwhelmed. Right? Yeah. I feel like there's very few people who are just not overwhelmed with all of the things going on. And I, you know, one of the things that I like to do is that exactly is to be in stillness.
Speaker 3 (00:27:34) - And.
Speaker 1 (00:27:35) - Try to just, like, tune into myself. But what are some other things that you could suggest to the audience that people could do to really help themselves in these situations? because we're really just having a natural response to.
Speaker 3 (00:27:50) - The.
Speaker 1 (00:27:51) - Things that are going on in the world. So the overwhelm feeling that we have is a natural response to all the things that we're bombarded with in this world right now. It's very intense. what are some of the things we could do to help relieve ourselves from that overwhelm feeling in our bodies?
Speaker 3 (00:28:10) - I think the.
Speaker 2 (00:28:10) - Most important thing is to stay out of judgment, be the observer instead of the participant. So you did something that. Is not what you had hoped you were going to do. You made some reaction, whatever. Instead of hopping in with that critical. Oh, I can't believe you did that. Which then pushed you even further behind where you want to be. Offer yourself grace. Offer yourself that. Okay. That wasn't what we were hoping to achieve.
Speaker 2 (00:28:46) - What can we do now from where we are? Keep. Taking it. Being aware of where you are. And one thing that my helpers. Really are always reminding me of is that. I know it is normal for us to say we're not perfect, but they say we are perfect in this moment. It doesn't mean you are complete. It doesn't mean you have learned everything you're going to learn. It just means in this moment, no matter what you may be doing, you are doing what is right for you so that you will get the next growth opportunity that will help you go further along on your journey. So they suggest that you put all of your attention on this moment. Now, that doesn't mean that you were perfect for yesterday or that you may be perfect for tomorrow. All they're saying is just be in this moment and give yourself permission to be right about whatever you're doing so that there's no judgement, there's no criticism. There's just. If I get out of my chair and immediately trip over a chord.
Speaker 2 (00:30:11) - Instead of calling myself all sorts of stupid, I'm just going to say, oh, what an interesting response to not thinking about putting the chord in a way that I wouldn't trip over it. Or if we start looking at, well, everything is here to help me move forward to the next place, then we will be less. Available for all that criticism that holds us back or. Steps us back. So if I trip over the cord and I'm easily able to right myself, then I can say, wow, I'm so proud of myself for keeping up that physical fitness routine that allows me to be much more able. If I trip over the the cord and fall flat on my face, I can say, oh, what a great reminder that I haven't been as physically active as I need to in order to support my body. You can go in any direction when you allow yourself to be what you need to be in this moment, and we when we combine that with the breath, then we really give ourselves tools that will help us be present and be available to what is going to move us forward.
Speaker 2 (00:31:34) - And by the breath, I mean remembering to take deep cleansing and healing breaths, not little shallow. What do I do next? What do I need to do next instead? And intentional deep cleansing and healing breath that signals to the body you are well. You are safe and you can relax. So the breath is one of the easiest tools. When you start feeling that overwhelm, stop and take three of those deep and I mean deep. As deep as you can breathe and empty out as fully as you possibly can. This sends oxygen oxygen throughout your body. And then the body says, oh, I feel better. I think I can relax. The brain gets clearer. You have less of that flight sort of reaction to whatever you've got going on, and then you're more open to your intuition, which gives you that guidance that you were waiting or missing because you were so tense. And it just kind of lets everything flow forward in the way that's for your highest good.
Speaker 1 (00:32:52) - Yeah. Yeah I, I think that is one of the best ways for people to move forward is to really be in the moment.
Speaker 1 (00:33:00) - Because I always say the when you worry about the past or when you like, dwell on the past, it's kind of like like a sign of, like almost depression. And when you're worried about the future, it's anxiety. And so being in the present moment is all that you really have, right? Right. That's all we really have. And so just looking at where you're at in that present moment and knowing that you're okay there and the breathwork thing, like I it's so funny because breathwork has been such a powerful tool in my life to help me reduce stress and anxiety, and I use it with my clients. And I've had a couple of breath facilitators, breathwork facilitators on the show. And I recently had, one, I think it was last week I interviewed him. And so breathwork keeps coming back into my life. And one of the things that I realize about breathwork is that, every time I think I know, you know enough about breathwork, somebody teaches me something new. Breathwork is so amazing.
Speaker 1 (00:34:03) - It helps ground you. It can help relax you. It could help energize you. It could do so many different things. And it's free. We have control over it. It's just. It's something that you can implement instantaneously. It's invisible. You can do it anywhere. And it really is such an amazing, powerful tool. So I think it's interesting that you just brought that up because I'm like, it just keeps coming back to the, the breathwork and it's, you know, it's like that, that one thing. And if you look at all the different healing modalities out there, going back probably thousands of years, breathwork was always there. And I always whenever I see something that's been around for so long, I'm like, yeah, there's something about that. You know, that's there's a reason why it's it's still there, you know.
Speaker 3 (00:34:51) - well, I want to and we need to breathe.
Speaker 2 (00:34:53) - So it's so natural. We can wait to eat. We can wait to drink. We cannot wait to breathe.
Speaker 2 (00:34:59) - and because I do my work in the energetic heart space, if you are so anxious that you can't allow yourself to relax enough to get into the space where you can relieve the anxiety completely, it's not going to do you a whole lot of good. So we've got to just take a moment and it just takes a moment. It doesn't have to be complicated. If you love complicated breathing rituals, great. Do that. Yeah. If you don't take three deep, deep, cleansing breaths and just that will be enough to relax you so you can go into the heart space where I do my work and then really address the problem and eliminate it. But when I work with people, I'm like, if you're. Old jangly mum. It's not going to have the impact and you're going to think this doesn't work. Take the time to take those breaths so that before you come you are ready and you feel well, you feel nourished, you feel alert and you've given agreement to this so that then I have your full attention and you're not off.
Speaker 2 (00:36:16) - All anxious about. Something that probably is not ever going to happen. And that was I think that was the thing that was I was like I spent all those years worried about tomorrow. And 99.9% of the things that I had envisioned. We're never going to happen and never did.
Speaker 1 (00:36:43) - Exactly. That's exactly the truth, you know? And you know, and I feel like as I get older, I realize that more and more and more, it's like so much time wasted worrying, like when when probably 99% of the time, it's just not not even going to happen, not even going to come into your life, you know? so tell.
Speaker 2 (00:37:03) - My helpers always say. If there really is danger, you won't be thinking about it. You will be acting appropriately. So don't spend any time making up crazy scenarios of how you're going to respond to this danger. That may or may never happen. You won't remember them. If you are truly in danger, just be in this moment and it have as much fun, much as spend as much time looking for things that bring you joy as you can.
Speaker 2 (00:37:36) - Because that's a better buffer than fear ever could be.
Speaker 1 (00:37:40) - Yeah, I always say follow the joy if you follow the joy. You know it's it's really could bring a lot more into your life. What we focus on expands right. So it's like just follow the joy. Follow the love. You know it's it's it's absolutely. Yeah. That's I think that's a good point that people need to leave with today on the podcast is remember to allow yourself to sit in stillness every once in a while. And like you said, it doesn't have to be complicated. Complicated. It doesn't have to be long either. You could just do this for, you know, five minutes, not even taking those few deep breaths. And just like tuning into yourself, go inward for just that short moment and check in with yourself, right? And then once you start doing this on a regular basis, you really start to like it's like you're forming a relationship with your your heart, your soul, you know? And it's like making just reconnect and keep reconnecting with that and staying, as you said, in that present moment.
Speaker 1 (00:38:38) - It's just a beautiful way to be. I wanted to ask you, though, before, like, before we get off about the Heart Healing Foundation, because that's something that I, I was interested about and you could share with the audience.
Speaker 2 (00:38:55) - Well, it is my gift of love that the angel said it's time. And this was really the response to Covid. If you have been in a traumatic situation, an abusive or traumatic situation, it is not confined to well, I was in a bad relationship. So in my relationship box I have this trauma that I need to deal with, and so I just won't be in any relationships for a period of time. It seeps out into your life. It becomes who you are unless you address it, clear it and heel heel it and clear it. Clear it and heal it. It becomes a part of everything that you do. And then it impacts every part of your life. And so I found that most of the people that I was working with, the majority of them would be wiped out financially because, okay, something happened in this particular box, but it didn't stay in the box.
Speaker 2 (00:40:06) - It created a tsunami across their entire life until everything they knew had been taken from them in some form or another. And I know when I was first embarking on this work and receiving this information from my helpers, I was broken and pretty much broke. There was no extra money for any kind of supportive counseling, or an extensive amount of classes or anything like that. It was go to the library, absorb as much information as you possibly can, and then try to apply it. And so the Heart Healing Foundation was, I've been doing this work for at least ten years now, and I've worked with amazing people, but I've had to give away so much free that. And then I could only give away a small portion because I still had to put food on the table. So it was like, okay, now what do I do? I can't keep offering for free, and I really dislike having to. Create a barrier between you and your healing, which consists of money. So what are the other alternatives? And the idea was create a foundation so that you can receive counseling on a sliding scale.
Speaker 2 (00:41:30) - And even if that is zero there is something else of value that you can offer to support. You can write a review, you can share us on social media, you can offer a skill. There's always something of value that you can offer that may not be monetary at this time. And once you're back feeling better and able to function in life and you start earning money, we will not say no to you. Yeah, supporting us so that we can help the next person get started in their journey of returning to themselves.
Speaker 1 (00:42:04) - Yeah, I think that's beautiful and I love that. It's a beautiful thing to do. how can people connect with you? How can they find the The Heart Healing Foundation?
Speaker 2 (00:42:15) - Our website is the Heart Healing foundation.org, and we have a big social media presence because part of the mission is to inspire and motivate you to be your best self. But we also offer council counseling and classes. We're. Really branching out into all different ways of sharing this message with people to help them understand that there's so much more to life than what society may have told you, or what your parents may have been able to share with you.
Speaker 2 (00:42:53) - And we want everyone to be exposed to. All that's there, and then you choose what feels good to you. So we are all about inspiration, education, motivation and then helping you to heal your heart by clearing that pain and trauma and abuse that may be holding you in dysfunctional patterns.
Speaker 1 (00:43:20) - That's great. I will put all of that in the show notes, the website, and the social media links so that people can connect with you. And I just want to thank you for coming on and sharing all your knowledge with us. And it was really a nice conversation. So thanks for joining me.
Speaker 2 (00:43:38) - I'm so glad to be here, and I'm so delighted that another, a fellow chameleon found their way.
Speaker 3 (00:43:45) - Yes, out.
Speaker 2 (00:43:46) - Of that people pleasing behavior. Yes. And now you are here being another amazing support in the world. And I think that's what we forget.
Speaker 3 (00:43:56) - When.
Speaker 2 (00:43:57) - We are able to shed that people pleasing behavior. Not only are you supporting yourself, but you have now become one more well functioning person who can support so many.
Speaker 1 (00:44:11) - Yes, I love that. Thank you so.
Speaker 3 (00:44:14) - Much.
Speaker 2 (00:44:15) - Oh you're welcome. Thanks so much for having me.
