I think that being alive right now in a time where so many people are waking up to the
need of being in alignment with their purpose is amazing.
And today's episode that I called Unstuck Embracing Change and Growth is, it all stems from
a quote that I read in Newsletter recently.
It was an astrology newsletter called 17 degrees.
And she said, "The thing we lose is the sense of safety that stagnancy provides us."
And to me, that was just so profound that I decided to do a whole episode on feeling
stuck and why so many people feel stuck right now.
So let's get into it.
You're listening to the Soul Aligned Self-Care Podcast.
I'm your host Tina Stinson and I had a stroke at the age of 39 from stress and burnout
that shook my world.
Now I'm laying it all out.
And deep level self-care practices and mindset shifts that I needed that kept me healthy,
balanced and thriving.
Join me in this intimate space as we explore healing, resilience and a soul's journey to
alignment.
This is where real conversations about deep level self-care happen.
Let's get into it.
Hello guys.
Welcome back to the Soul Aligned Self-Care Podcast.
I'm your host Tina Stinson and I want to thank you for hanging out with me today, spending
time with me on the podcast.
I love having you guys here.
So today we're talking about being stuck.
And the name of this episode is unstuck and brace change and brace growth.
And as I said in the intro, it was based on that quote and I thought it was just so powerful.
I can't even remember the context of the quote, but I wrote it down because I was like,
this is so powerful.
This explains it perfectly why some of us do stay stuck and it's because we get a sense
of safety that's pregnancy provides us.
And like I looked into that even deeper when I was thinking about it and the word sense
to me is the word that has a lot of meaning because you're not really completely safe.
It's just a sense of safety because it's familiar.
You haven't died yet in that situation.
And I just thought that was so powerful and I'm not sure of the woman's name who writes
that blog 17 degrees, but that really just struck me.
And I have a lot of clients and I talk to a lot of other coaches that also have a lot of
clients that are feeling stuck right now.
And as I said, I think being alive right now in a time where so many people are waking up
for the need of being in alignment with their purpose, they're aware of everything that's
going on with them.
And they know it's not kosher and they don't know how to change it.
And it's going against the norm.
Like a lot of times this does happen as we reach mid-life, but this is happening in all age
groups.
Like, you know, even the younger generations are like, what are we doing working nine to
five our entire lives and not enjoying our lives?
You know, everybody's like, what the heck are we doing?
So that's why I say I think it's amazing.
I think it's difficult for a lot of people, including myself to feel these things and not know how
to navigate it.
But at the same time, I think it's amazing because I do agree I don't think people should be
working, you know, what is it?
80% of their life and the best years of their lives, working in an office building under
a fluorescent light and front of a computer.
And as I talked about the other day on Monday for the week self-care practice, which was about
grounding and earthing, it's unnatural for us as human beings to be inside all the time.
We need to be outside.
Now I know there's some people that don't enjoy outdoors as much as everybody else, but we
need, it's almost like I was saying I did a live the other day on ORA.
I'm a creator on ORA, which is an app, a meditation app, but it's more than a meditation
app, it's a coaching app, it's a really cool place.
And I love creating work for them.
I love doing it, but I did a live the other day and I was talking about grounding and earthing.
And I was like, we're just like, we're kind of just like plants.
I think we should really think of ourselves that way because we need to be outside and nature.
We need to be touching the ground.
We need to be connected.
We need water and we need light just like plants do, you know.
We do not do well if that is held back from us or removed from our lives.
And when we're working these nine to five jobs that aren't some of them, I shouldn't say
all of them, but some of them aren't very fulfilling either.
They don't have a lot of meaning to them.
And on top of that, you're away from your family, your dogs and your cats and your animals.
You're away from doing the things that you love in your life and you have this small
little portion, this small percentage of time in your life where you get to enjoy yourself.
So the fact that everybody is like, what the heck are we all doing?
I think is amazing because I'm like, finally, everybody is like, because I've been thinking
this for a long time.
And actually, even I think a lot of people have been thinking this for a long time, but
you're afraid to speak up about it because it's not the norm and people just think you're
crazy or friendgy or whatever you want to call it, right?
And so I'm so excited for this time that we get to see these changes.
But the reason, another reason why I think it's so amazing is because I get to work with
these people and I get to see them stepping into what they're meant to be doing in this
world, whatever that might be, whatever brings purpose into their lives.
We all have amazing things to offer.
But they're all unique.
We're all 100% different.
That's why I always say there's no competition.
If you're truly aligned with yourself, there's no competition.
And that's how I look at it.
Like, sometimes people say to me, why do you have all these coaches that come on your show
that do very similar things to you?
And I'm like, because we're all different.
There's no such thing as competition because what's right for that coach, the person that's
right for them is going to be attracted to them.
And they're never probably going to be attracted to me because I'm not the one for them.
You know what I mean?
It's what they need right now, right now in that moment.
And so what I'm doing, I feel like is I'm facilitating connection between you guys, the
listeners and the people and the subjects and some of the lessons, the mindsets that we
all need to thrive in our lives.
And that's what I feel like my purpose is.
So as I said, we all have amazing things to offer.
They're all unique.
And last week, I kind of talked about how to embrace your quirks as your superpowers.
Remember, let your freak flag fly.
And one of the things I talked about is how we all meant to be and share our authentic
selves with the world.
We are not meant to hide pieces of ourselves because we're scared of how it will be received
or we're scared that it might ruffle some feathers or upset people, right?
And you can listen to that episode.
I'll put the links in the show notes so that you can listen to it if you didn't catch
it.
Now I believe that this is our purpose to share that version that was put to live in this
lifetime here on this planet with everyone unsensored though, like to live that version
unsensored.
And those are the things that you're meant to do and be in this world.
A lot of us feel lost right now and stuck because we're all raised to go against our natural
grain of just being human, being ourselves.
Starting from birth, we're taught not to do these things, right?
We're taught to behave, to be quiet.
I always say to color inside of the lines, to follow the rules, but the one thing that we
all like fail to do is, you know, ask the question of who's making all these ridiculous
soul sucking rules, right?
Who's making these?
Have you ever thought about that question and that's a whole new, that's a whole other
podcast, I guess, to think about who's making these rules and why are they qualified to
make these rules and who they, who are they meant for?
What are they meant to do?
Are they meant to service or are they meant to hold us back?
Are they meant to control us, right?
And so that's why it's so hard for us to get out of this stuck place because it goes
against everything we were taught our whole lives.
So, and that quote kind of connects with this topic because as she said, you know, when
stepping outside of our comfort zone, the thing we lose is a sense of safety that stagnancy
provides, right?
So, we're comfortable where we are.
We might not be happy, right?
We might not be thrilled, it might be okay, you know, it's okay, you know, it's good enough,
whatever.
Like, that's horrible, right?
That's horrible, we should never settle, but that bam, like that just hit me so hard.
So, when we are stuck, we know that we're in a place that is safe, we can survive here,
but the question you need to ask is, how can you thrive in your life?
How can you live your life?
And I find myself doing this all the time, like keeping one foot in like the comfort zone
and one foot out and this like going back and forth and kind of testing the water when
what we really need to do is just jump in.
Like, think about like when you're going in a pool or the ocean and it's freezing, right?
It's freezing and we all know how painful it is to go in slow, you know, like you go in
your legs and then the hardest part is when you hit the water, hit your stomach, right?
And you're like, holy shit, especially if you're wearing like a two-piece bait and suit.
And you're like, oh my god, this is so freaking cold.
And then, you know, you work your way in and then you do the last part you put your head
under water or maybe you don't, I don't know.
But you do that and the shock is over, but it took really long, right?
And it's like a long and drawn out when you could have just like jumped in like bit the bullet,
just went all the way in and reached that point in a half the amount of time, less than half
the amount of time.
And now also, so like I feel like I do this a lot, like I have one foot in and one foot out
and I'm going back and forth and I'm like, oh, that's a little uncomfortable and I don't,
oh, maybe not, you know, and everyone once in a while I jump full in with certain things,
but not all the time. And also think about like when you finally get in the water and, you know,
after about five minutes, the water feels warm, especially when you're in the ocean, right?
I don't know why that is.
And your body like, you know, acclimates to the temperature and you feel good and you feel
refreshed, but the water doesn't feel cold anymore.
You know, sometimes even your skin gets cold and the water starts to feel warm, like you,
you lift your body out of the water and it's like, oh my god, it's cold, right?
Because there's a little breeze or something, but then you go back in and the water feels warm,
right? So you created a new comfort zone.
So I feel like it's the perfect metaphor for like stepping out out of the comfort zone in our life,
because if we just jump and go for whatever it is we're going for, stepping into whatever it is,
we're afraid of and we do it quick. We're stepping out of the old comfort zone or timeline or whatever
you want to call it and we're stepping into a new one, right? And then we very quickly become comfortable
in that new comfort zone. And I think that some people never even take the chance to dip their toe
in the cold water. They don't, they just look at it and say that it's cold and they're not going to try.
Right? So what is the sense of safety that you will gain to lose, right? You will gain to lose.
Does that make sense? What is your sense of safety that you'll lose if you step outside of your comfort zone?
Right? So some of the things I was thinking about, like there's some of the things that people might
experience are maybe you're living in a place where you might be safe, so like a town, a state,
it might be safe, but there is no community. You don't have your people there. You don't have a
support system. So you're safe and you're alive, but you're not thriving because you don't have a
community. You know, maybe you have a job, right? You freaking hate the job. You hate it. You know,
you're making money, but you hate it. You don't feel like you have purpose. The environment is toxic.
It sucks the life out of you. You know, you know, the hours along, you never have time for yourself,
but you think it's a job. A lot of people don't have a job, right? So, but it's a job, you know.
So it's a safety zone, but you're afraid to leave because a lot of people don't, and this is true,
a lot of people don't have jobs right now, or they don't have good jobs, right? They have sucky,
sucky ass jobs. A lot of sucky ass jobs out there right now, right? You might have a home where you
survive, but you're not always safe. You know, maybe there's another person in that home that makes you
feel unsafe, or they're unsupportive, not loving, you know? It might not be any type of abuse situation.
I guess it depends on so many different things, but it might not just be a supportive environment,
you might not be friendly, you know? But it's a place to live. It's a roof over your head,
and it's hard to take that big step. It's hard to go out on your own, right?
You might be in a relationship. This is a lot of people, right? That's not supportive,
but at least you're not alone. The fear of being alone is so much worse than being in a bad relationship.
So it's like a little safety zone, right? You're not alone. I know way too many people like
that are in that situation. So, you know, something that you should contemplate today
when talking about this and thinking about that quote, that powerful quote that I shared with you,
what is your safe place that's keeping you stuck right now? Think about it. Think about all the
different areas of your life, like maybe your health, maybe your career, maybe your fitness, maybe
you could be your relationships, it could be your home environment, like where you're living,
it could be your spirituality. How many people do you know, or maybe you yourself are super duper woo-woo,
like you love all the spiritual stuff. Every spiritual thing, you love you love crystals, you love
working with the moon, you love herbalism, that's not really spiritual, but like it's a little witchy,
right? You love horoscopes, you love human design, you love, I'm trying to think of all the things.
And I love all these things, tarot cards, you love crystals, did I say that already? But like,
you love all these things, but you don't share it with anyone because a lot of your friends
that maybe you might have grown up with or maybe it's people you knew from college or whatever,
they're very conservative and you're afraid that these people wouldn't accept you, right? That's
a spirituality is a big deal or maybe it's maybe you're religious and the people that you hang out with
aren't religious, right? So it could be so many different angles, right? So the next thing that most
people ask is after they discover these places, these safety zones that they're living in, that they're
protecting themselves that are unhealthy to stay in, it's like you know it's unhealthy, like at a
like a soul level, a gut level, you know it's not healthy, but like how do you get out? How do you
get out of it? So that's the next thing that people ask is what are the baby steps I need to take,
right? Because I always say, you know, the thing that you really need to do when you get stuck,
like how do I get out of this God for sake in place where I feel so stuck? My answer to that is
always by taking small steps consistently and the consistently part is a big deal. When you take
small steps consistently, you make big changes over time and this works because it's easier to get
started with small steps, right? There's less decision fatigue, there's less overwhelm, right? And
another reason is you have a quicker and easier success, right? So you'll have more quicker, more
successes over time, which equals confidence, you gain confidence when you have these successes,
which in turn equals more success and then that equals momentum, okay? Small steps also, like as I
said, they're just not overwhelming. Sometimes your goal or something that you want or something you
need to do for your health in order for you to thrive in order for you to expand as a human being
is so overwhelming, it's a big step, right? So it's breaking that down into the tiniest steps possible
and then remaining consistent with moving forward creates these big, huge changes over time and
it works so well, I've been doing this in my life for a while now and it works so well,
it's worked so well. So as I said, the next thing most people ask is, well, what are the baby steps?
What do I, what steps do I need to take? And I'm sorry, but the only one who knows that answer is you,
like I don't know that answer, only you know that. So in order to really tune in to your,
that in a wisdom that you have, you need to get still, you need to be quiet, right? You need to meditate,
right? And maybe do some breath work. Go to a place that makes you feel quiet, is it your garden,
is it when you go for a run, is it when you're in the shower or in the bath,
or is it when you meditate, is it when you do some breath work? And then ask yourself the question,
when you're in this relaxed state, what's my next step? And then listen, listen to those little
nudges that come up because that's how you got, that's how you're into wish and that's how the universe
talks to you. Little nudges, it's not a loud voice, that loud voice, if you're hearing a loud voice
that's badgering you, like you got to do this and then you have to do this and then you have to do
that, that's your ego. But the little nudges, the little whispers that come in, it's just like a little like,
you should do this. Something like that. That's that's that's those are the nudges, that's what that's
you got, right? And they move you toward flow in your life, right? So any any of these little steps that
come up, those little nudges should feel expansive, they shouldn't feel contractive and it doesn't
mean it's not going to be scary, but it should be kind of like an excited scary, not like the hair
is standing up on the back of my neck scary, but like a, oh my goodness, like butterflies in my stomach
excited scary, you know what I mean? Another method you could use also is, you know journaling after
you get into that place. So asking the question, go into a meditation, go for a run, whatever,
and then ask yourself to question and journal out, see what comes up. I always I always like to work
with my journal, because it's almost like, it's like a doorway into your subconscious, especially if
you get quiet and give yourself the space that you need to connect with your subconscious. Now another
thing you could do when you're journaling is you could ask yourself the question, if I was the type of
person that knew all the answers and you knew what all the next steps were, what would they be?
And then journal it out like don't and don't give yourself too much time to like think just like
whatever comes up, whatever is the first thing that pops into your head, write it down, don't question
it, just write it down. And then another thing that you could use, another question is you could think
of a person that you really admire. Someone you look up to a mentor, even it could be, I don't know,
somebody famous that's somebody in your field or someone in your family or maybe even a parent,
and then you ask yourself, what would they do if they were in my situation? What would their first
tiny step be? And then write those things down. So a good point to remember would be that all the
steps we took to get us to where we are right now are not going to get us unstuck. So everything you're
doing right now that you think is working, it may be a form of what's working, but maybe there
needs to be a little shift because doing the same things over and over again are not going to get you
unstuck. They just give us more of the same. And so, and we've all heard that a million times, but we
all do it, including myself, we all do the same things over and over and over. And sometimes it could be
as small as making a shift, just making small shifts in your life that aren't even addressing
the goal or whatever you want that you're trying to move towards. It could just be shifting up your
day, like taking a different route to work. If you're a runner, taking a different route to running,
go run someplace pretty, eating different food, eating breakfast at different time, having a different
morning routine every single day, change it up because sometimes when we start to change it up,
we get out of, we kind of bust ourselves out of that stagnancy that we might be experiencing,
and then it might be easier for us to make some of those changes that are different, that are
helping us move towards a different trajectory, right? We're trying to go in a different direction.
If we're going down the river and there's, you know, we always go, there's like a split in the river,
and we always go to the right. We always go to the right. It always brings us to the same town,
right? The same, and there's the same restaurant in the same town in the same hotel. We stay at
in the same town, but maybe this time I want something different. I'm getting tired of that,
so I'm going to go to the left, right? So it's about making those little changes, and that'll change
the hotel that I stay in, it'll change the restaurant that I stay in, it'll change the people
that I meet. It's going to change everything, and those little changes build on all the other
changes that you're making in your life, and just make more things available to you, more options
available to you, if that makes sense. So it just means do different, like change it up a little bit,
even if it's one small step, like the small, I always have oatmeal for breakfast, so this morning,
I'm just going to have, what am I going to have instead of oatmeal? What do you guys have? Some avocado
toast, maybe some eggs? I don't know. So how do you want to rewrite your story? That's the question.
So if you're doing the journaling work, how do you want to rewrite your story? What is the direction
you want to go in? How do you want to show up in the unstuck stage of your life? How do you want to
show up when you're living in this place where everything you want is coming true? It's in your
present moment. How do you show up? What do you look like? Who are you surrounding yourself with?
Where do you live? What are you doing? What are your hobbies? What is your job if you're working?
What is it? You get to decide. So make it good. You might as well make it good, if we're making it
up as we go along, you might as well make it good, or maybe actually you might as well make it great,
right? You might as well make it awesome. So that's your assignment this week. I just wanted to
share that quote with you guys and give you some contemplation on how to move forward. I think it's
the perfect time for this podcast because we're a day after the new moon and the eclipse and it's
the beginning of a new year and I think it's the perfect time to really examine how we want to show
up and what's the direction we want to go in and how to bust out of our stuckness and our stagnancy.
So I love you guys and I will see you next week. Bye. Did you guys know that the SoulAlign
Self-Care podcast has a community? It's called the SoulAlign Self-Care Insiders and I would love
you guys to join us over there. So the link will be in the show note and I want to say we do so many
cool self-care practices over there. So if you really want to up-level your self-care, join us on the
insiders. Okay, I'll see you there. Bye.
