Hey guys, I am so excited for today's guests.
Her name is Melanie Moore and I am a huge fan.
She's the UK's leading vision board expert
and award winning coach.
She inspires clients to tap into their big vision
and gives them the mindset tools
that they need to change the trajectory of their lives.
She's the host of the weekly show, "Tapping with Mel"
and the creator of "Transformational Noural Technique,"
a unique process that clears the past,
which then clears the path
so that lasting transformation can happen.
Melanie is on a mission to help millions of people
dream bigger, think bigger, and act bigger.
So let's get into it.
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You're listening to the Soul Online Self-Care Podcast.
I'm your host, Tina Stinson,
and I had a stroke at the age of 39 from stress
and burnout that shook my world.
Now I'm laying it all out.
The deep level self-care practices and mindset shifts
that I needed that kept me healthy, balanced, and thriving.
Join me in this intimate space
as we explore healing, resilience,
and a soul's journey to alignment.
This is where real conversations
about deep level self-care happen.
Let's get into it.
(soft music)
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- Hello and welcome, Melanie.
Thank you so much for coming on the Soul Online Self-Care Podcast.
I'm very excited to talk to you today.
- Thanks for having me, Tina.
- So to get started, could you just tell me
a little bit about yourself
and then start moving into tapping
or what we call EFT, emotional freedom technique,
is that correct?
- Sure, yes.
So my name is Melanie Moore.
I am a life coach, mindset coach,
and I like to help women crossroads in their lives.
And the tools I like to help people
with our vision-boarding, visualization,
and tapping, because first you've got to have a vision
of what you want your new chapter
of your life to look like.
But then also the mindset tools that you need
to help you through the ups and downs of life.
Life provides us with so many challenges.
I feel that I live through a lot of them.
And tapping has been the tool that's just kept me saying.
And yes, I've been an EFT practitioner
for over 10 years now.
I actually started off my holistic therapy practice
doing raky and reflexology, helping women
with their pregnancy and their childbirth journey.
And then I discovered tapping, which for me,
because women who were going through fertility issues
and childbirth and pregnancy,
had a lot of emotional issues.
And I found that tapping was a wonderful tool
that helped cut through to a lot of core issues.
And as my practice grew, as my business grew,
I then wanted to help people more
in a workshop setting.
So I kind of started my business went online.
I started doing tapping videos on YouTube.
And I don't have all one-to-one therapy practice anymore.
In fact, I'd say there's probably a 60% split
of my audience being overseas.
And with that 40% being in the UK, which is where I live.
So yeah, my business is really evolved over the years.
But at the core of it now is tapping.
My business is called tapping into your big vision.
And one of my beliefs is that I really believe
that we can create a tapping video for literally anything
that's going on in our lives.
And that's how my clients to challenge me.
What do you want me to create a tapping video on?
And yeah, and I think that's probably how most people
find me these days from my YouTube channel.
Absolutely, yes, that's how I found you.
And I am a big fan.
And I recommend your videos to a lot of my clients
because you have a very soothing voice, which is helpful.
And I like how you have shorter tapping videos.
So they're not too long.
And if I'm trying to get somebody to try something--
What's short?
--and wait, what is it?
Yeah.
Yeah, so it-- and it always is better, even with meditation, too.
Same thing.
If you start off with a shorter period of time,
it's people are more likely to take part in it, right?
So for people out there, for the listeners out there
that don't even know what tapping is,
could you explain what that is?
Of course, yes.
So tapping-- it's official title is emotional freedom technique.
So it's known as EFT or tapping for short,
because we use our fingertips to tap
on certain acupressure points on our face and our body.
And it's often described as acupuncture without needles
because it's got its roots in traditional Chinese medicine
that acupressure points are related to points
that come from Chinese medicine.
And so it's a cross-f型 acupuncture and modern day
psychology, because it's a talking therapy as well.
And it can be used for so many different things,
for phobias, anxiety, post-traumatic stress, for insomnia.
I think that's how a lot of people get introduced to tapping.
And I often like to share that here in the UK
there's a big airline called EasyJet,
and they run a two-day fear-flying course
and it's to help people overcome their flying phobia.
On the first day, they just do tapping or day long.
It's the modality they found that had the biggest shift
for people with phobias.
So some people come across something,
it's a bit strange, a little bit woo-woo.
But I say if a company like EasyJet can put their money
where their mouth is and run a course,
I think it's got about 80% success rate.
We've moved way past woo-woo.
This has got its roots in science.
And it's effective.
You know, people who try it,
I don't think there's been a person,
even real skeptics who I know,
they come on, just give it a go.
They find immediate benefit.
They cannot deny that they feel a bit more relaxed,
a bit more soothed.
So, yeah, I'm willing,
I love trying to convert the skeptics.
Yeah, and I love that.
I didn't know that.
That's actually a really, that's very interesting,
there's tons of people that have a fair flying.
I myself used to be one of them.
I don't have trouble with it anymore.
I also read a little bit,
I don't remember when this was,
or where it was, I wish I could remember,
that there's a lot of people, like famous people,
like performers when they go out on stage,
they use different tapping techniques.
And there was even a picture of someone
like doing tapping with their fingers,
while they were performing on stage.
And I was like, that's very interesting.
So, it could be really, really helpful
for those types of things too,
like public speaking,
or like you said, almost anything.
So, I know for a fact,
when I first started doing tapping,
one of the things I always wondered about,
so I'm gonna ask you a few of these questions,
is I see different people doing tapping
in different ways?
Does it really matter the order,
or how you do it, or which tap and point you hit?
Does it really make a big difference?
'Cause I see people using like two hands sometimes,
and then they see some people use one hands.
The different points where you tap,
some people use the ones that you see over and over again,
I guess, you know, like the eyes below the nose,
the chin, and then on the color bones.
I always call this the bra point, like under arm,
under your arm with a bra and then the tap at the head,
but I see sometimes people skip certain ones
like the one under the arm.
I see people skip sometimes.
Does it really matter?
- Not really, not really.
I like to go, this is the classic formula,
going through all the points that you just described.
This was as was taught by Gary Kray,
kind of you know, the founder of tapping,
but sometimes if I'm driving or I'm a bit stressed,
you know, you can't really do a full round of tapping
when you're driving, I might just tap on my collar bones
if I'm not stressed and traffic,
or you can do this fingertip points as well, finger bed points.
They're a bit more discreet, say if you're on a train
or you're somewhere in public.
Or there's a touch and breath technique
where you literally touch the points and you breathe,
and you can just save statements internally.
And sometimes you know, you might just want to do
the cry to chop point.
Each of these points, they do relate to a different
emotion in traditional Chinese medicine.
And that's why we often go through all the points
because they can be related to overthinking
and they can relate to fear, guilt, shame, anxiety
and there's different points and that I must admit,
I kind of forget which point is which.
So that's why I go through all the points.
That way we can't miss anything out.
That's when I do a proper round of tapping,
but I think there's a lot of power in just the words
that are used as well.
For me, you know, all my clients often call me
the language police.
I really monitor people's language and their words
because our words, particularly the ones we use
towards ourselves are so powerful.
They, you know, I don't know if this is true or not,
but we talk about, you know, words and spellings
and actually it's like casting a spell on ourselves.
- Yeah.
- And I do really believe that the words have extraordinary power
and that, you know, coupled with one or two
of the acupressure points is extremely helpful
and sometimes just saying the words without tapping
can be really powerful as well.
- So when you're doing tapping, I know just from doing it
myself that a lot of times you're working through
specific order of the way you use the words.
And so a lot of times you're talking about,
so you have a phobia for as just to use that as an example,
you're gonna talk about the phobia you have
and so you're gonna make those statements
and then you're going to kind of, I don't know,
if reverse is the right word,
may you have a better way of explaining?
- I call it the, it's like a triple layer sandwich
so the first part is acknowledging the problem
and a lot of people say, you know, why are you focusing
on the problem?
Isn't that, you know, by law of attraction,
you're just making it worse?
And it's like, well, no, it's acknowledging it.
You're bringing it up to the surface, you know,
even though I have this fear of flying or driving
or spiders or whatever,
I choose to love and accept myself.
And then, you know, for the first round, we'd like,
even though I have this fear is keeping me awake at night,
it's causing me anxiety, it's making my heart race.
This phobia, you know, it's going round and round in my head,
we're acknowledging it, we're dressing it.
And then the next round would be, I'm ready to let it go now.
I choose to let go of this fear.
I'm letting go of this fear of flying,
I'm letting go of the way spiders make me feel,
I'm letting go of all this anxiety,
all this trauma in my body, I'm letting it go now.
So the second round is about letting go.
And the third round is this is when we infuse the positive,
this is like, I choose to know that I'm safe.
Then I'm okay with flying,
that I choose to know that I'm safe when I fly
and I choose to know it's the safest mode of transport
and I choose to feel confident,
I choose to feel happy and positive about this.
And maybe I can even enjoy the experience.
So the third round is all about the positive positivity
and bringing in the affirmation of what it is we want.
So I always like to end around the tapping on the positive.
So you're actually feeling good about that thing,
that phobia, the trauma.
And yeah, and that's really it.
It's acknowledging it, letting it go,
and then infusing in the positive affirmation.
- That's explained perfectly.
And also, I really appreciate you explaining
that the different points are really focused
on different feelings.
And so that explains like a lot.
- I can send you a little char afterwards, actually.
- Cool. - Yeah, which explains that.
- That would be really cool.
So I didn't know that and that's really good to know.
And I like the way you explained it.
And then the next question would be for the people out there,
like how long do you need to do this?
I know when you start off, you kind of have like a starting off
point, like how am I feeling right now, right?
And so is that how long you decide to do it
when you start feeling better?
- Yes, I always say just tap for as long as it feels good
to tap, you know?
If you feel that you need a little bit more relief,
then you might want to do it around again.
And I had different types of camping as well.
Sometimes it's just a motivational one,
just to get your days started,
just to get you feeling good and motivated
and telling you something,
"I can do this."
And you might just see that one round
that just gets you out of bed and gets you into taking action.
When there's something like a phobia or say public speaking,
choosing to identify, you know, all your life,
you may have identified as somebody who is not very confident
when it comes to public speaking, has a lot of anxiety.
And I do actually, I do have a tapping video for communication.
And it's just too, and yes, you could do one,
that, you know, 'cause everyone gets a little bit nervous
if they have to do some public speaking.
So you might just have to do,
depending on your level of anxiety around it,
you might just, you know, one round before you get on stage
might be enough.
But if it's a crippling anxiety,
and if you say you've never spoken on stage before,
but you've been asked to speak in an event,
and you like, "Oh my God, I cannot do this, I can't do this,
this just fills me with dread."
You might want, you might need to tap on it, say, for a month.
But if it's a desire to want to do the thing,
you can work on it.
And it's just rewiring a neural pathway in your brain
that is going to tell you, "I can do this."
And sometimes it might take 30, 60, you know, maybe even 90 days
to, to almost, this is what I love the most about tapping.
How you can literally change your identity.
You can, one minute, you can identify as somebody who is nervous,
anxious, but say if you're wondering,
have more confidence in your life?
And I think confidence, self-belief,
these are things that, you know, hold so many people back
in changing their lives, in doing the things I've always wanted to,
because they just scared, they don't feel brave enough.
And, but if the desire is there,
then tapping is such a wonderful tool to help you
make that shift from that person who can't do it,
who's scared, afraid, anxious, who'd like, don't I can do this?
And I've had so many stories of people who will just change their story
through daily tapping.
Yeah, yeah.
I definitely could speak on that for myself,
because I used to have panic attacks when I was driving.
And it wasn't something that instantaneously helped me,
because it was such a powerful experience,
the first time that happened to me.
After I had that first panic attack while driving,
which was terrifying, after I experienced that,
then the fear was that it was going to happen again.
It wasn't really like the panic attack itself.
It was like the fear of that happening again while I was driving.
And so it took a while, like for me, to really work through that.
It wasn't like this instantaneous thing,
but you could also, and that's why I wanted you to have you
on the podcast, because I talk about deep-level self-care,
but I also talk about things that you could do every day
to take care of ourselves.
And you talked about using it as a motivation to start your day,
and stuff like that.
And you could do these little things,
or you could use it to relax before you go to bed.
Or if you know you're going to be stepping into a stressful situation,
or a situation where you're feeling some type of anxiety,
you can use it before that.
And I think you talked about the first part where you acknowledge,
you know, you're acknowledging what the fear is.
I think that's really important, because acknowledgement is always
where you start when you're trying to change something about yourself.
It's almost like it's your starting point,
and then you're deciding where you want to go.
So it's almost like you're setting a GPS, right?
So if you're in New York and you want to go to California,
you can't omit the part that you're starting in New York.
You have to put it in that part.
Otherwise, you're never going to get to California, right?
So it's like that acknowledgement is like your starting point,
and there's a lot of power, I think, in acknowledging your fears,
or the things that you're anxious about, or anything.
There's so much power in that.
Absolutely.
You know, an acceptance as well is acknowledging and accepting.
And often the first phrase in tapping is even though I have this worry,
even though I'm feeling guilty, even though I have this craving for sugar right now,
I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
It's just like, we're loving and accepting what is,
even though I have this problem, I'm loving and accepting it,
without shame, without guilt.
And because there are so many emotions wrapped up around the problem,
and we end up beating ourselves up over it, and that love and acceptance of it is so powerful.
I've got two teenagers, and I've been tapping with them since they were really signing.
And I think, and I love that, I love tapping with children, it's so powerful.
And if children can just say that phrase, I love and accept myself,
regardless of whatever, it's such a valuable tool for them to take through their lives
because I think that lack of self-love ends up causing so many destructive,
self-sabotaging behaviors when we don't love ourselves.
And it sounds like such a corny phrase, but it's so important.
And being somebody who is in the art of business of helping people with self-love and self-care,
you know the importance of this, that when we love ourselves,
we would take it, there's that classic phrase,
that we take care of the things that we love.
And often we don't really take that much good care of ourselves,
because it's a story, because it's a feeling,
and the stuff that kind of gets in the way.
Yeah, it's almost like the programming that we received from when we're young children,
and I love that you do that with, you were able to like raise your children that way.
That's huge, I think.
And I had to practice on someone.
Well, yeah, it's huge to be able to teach children to love themselves,
because what they learn out in the world is to do the opposite,
to judge themselves, to be hard on themselves, to not support themselves,
not to accept exactly how they are, you know?
And both little boys and little girls,
but it is very like the outward appearance thing with girls is even worse, you know?
And so learning to deeply love and support yourself when you're younger
would be, that would be life-changing for, I think, the planet,
just because most of us do not ever learn how to do that.
And if you learn how to love and support and accept yourself exactly as you are,
and at the same time want more for yourself, right?
And grow and expand, then you could put your best,
the best version of yourself into the world, into your relationships,
into your parenting, into your business, whatever.
If you can't love and accept yourself, you're only putting a small fraction of yourself
into the world of who you deeply and truly are.
So I think it's almost foundational to really, for relationships, just for self,
just for growth and everything.
It's foundational to be able to love yourself and accept yourself exactly as you are.
So doing the work that you do is absolutely life-changing for people, I believe.
And I guess what I want to step into next is maybe you could tell people how to get started
and how they can find you.
So as I said earlier, I do believe we can find a tapping video for everything.
And I aim to put new videos on my YouTube channel regularly.
One of my most popular ones, actually, to funnily enough,
two of my most popular ones are one start the day, which is tapping for a great start to the day,
which is just setting your intention for the day.
And I find that when we can set our intentions, that's just kind of,
you're almost like telling the universe in advance, you know,
"Wake up, you know, today's going to be a great day."
Because often we can kind of get out of bed and say, "Oh, it's January, it's cold."
I'm broke and I'm built on that.
And it's just like, "Oh, that's not a very good way to start the day, is it?"
So, well, what if I just go to set my mindset that today is going to be a great day?
And so that's one of my most popular ones.
That's a great one to start with, you know?
Just give it a go to see how you feel afterwards.
And just my other really popular one is tapping for a good night's sleep,
because a lot of people have sleep issues.
Yes.
And so many people have found me through that one and they actually say,
"Oh my gosh, you know, literally I was couldn't sleep scrolling through YouTube,
find your video, and oh my gosh, I've had the best night's sleep for years."
And they write lovely messages on my YouTube channel, you know,
to come back and thank me for this tool.
And it's just, again, it's the language, the language of that tapping video is,
I choose to have a good night's sleep, I choose to feel calm, I choose to feel relaxed,
because usually when we can't sleep, the story we're running and I hate it,
we can't sleep.
So the universe would say, "Okay, then."
Yeah, that's all we're going to give you.
You got it.
And I actually did one tapping video with my daughter.
It was quite, it was, was she's 16 now?
She was eight years old at the time and it was quite funny actually because
the video starts on its side and then I have to correct it.
And it was tapping with my daughter and it's one of the things we,
I said, "Love doing that one."
She was younger just to tell her that I'm safe and I'm loved and I choose to have a good night's sleep.
And the number of people who've messaged me and because I put it on YouTube ages ago, before I,
it was only really kind of around 2020 that I felt right.
I'm going to actively grow my channel now.
I just used to put random videos here and there.
No, no, no, my gosh, I've had a lot of views that video.
And people would say, "Oh my god, my son, my daughter won't go to sleep unless they tapped with Bonnie."
Oh, I love that.
Oh, my daughter, she went through a phase of, "Can you take that video down?"
It's too popular.
That's so funny.
I love that.
I haven't seen that one.
Now I'm going to go search it out.
That's great.
I was thinking of something like packing with your children at bedtime or something or, yeah,
something like that.
All right, so those are you new, so they could find you on YouTube.
So I'll put a link in the show notes so that they could find you on there.
Now I know that you have a membership, don't you?
I do, yes.
I do.
It's got the tapping into your big vision members community.
And this started about four years ago because I actually used to,
when I started my online business, I used to have a program called tapping into abundance.
I still do actually, it's a program of tapping into abundance because one of the things
so tapping is great for anxiety and releasing blocks and all that kind of stuff.
And I only used to really do tapping with women, supporting them through childbirth.
But when my marriage ended, gosh, eight, nine years ago,
facing life as a single parent, feeling with all the bills and raising kids away,
I have big financial anxiety that suddenly descended upon me.
And then I thought, oh my gosh, I wonder if I could tap on my financial anxiety.
So anyway, long story short, this whole kind of new thing was born out of my business
because I'm very much into law of attraction, manifesting money.
You know, one of my big fun stories that I love to share is that
when I used to kind of work in my corporate career, I used to do IT recruitment and head hunting
in London, my children were just born and I wanted to start my own holistic therapy practice
but I needed to manifest the money. So I just read the secret and I was just kind of into this
law of attraction. And I thought, I'm going to manifest money. I need to manifest money so that I can
leave my job and start my own business. I'm ready to cut a really long story short, this is kind of how
I got really into visualisation as well. I would visualise being on a game show and it was
who wants to be a millionaire which I think it was popular all over the world. And I put out this
intention that I needed 20,000 pounds. So anyway, I was like, how can this money come to me? So I applied
to be on the game show. I visualise being on the show every day because I used to work very near
the studios where it was filmed and actually my lunch hour, there was a big poster, it was
L Street Studios, the home of who wants to be a millionaire. And I would visualise my lunch hour,
being on the show. A long story short, I got on the show and I won 20,000 pounds.
You know how to hear? Yes, it's great to be. Which is the exact amount of money that I'd
put out into the universe so that all these kind of interesting things have happened. And I
thought I'm going to create a programme to help people to manifest money. This was kind of what I
became known for. But after a couple of years of running this programme, I realised there was actually
so much more that I was interested in. I was really interested in relationships, helping people to
improve relationships, to get out toxic relationships. But also to manifest new love, I was really
interested in helping people to manifest all sorts of things, their new home, their environment,
and also health as well. I'm very into health, nutrition, fitness and positive aging as well, helping
women through parry menopause and menopause. So I thought I need to create a community where I can
bring all the stuff in that I love talking about. And each month we go through a different pillar
of abundance, health, relationships and environments. We create vision boards twice a year. But then
throughout the month, we have twice a month, we Zoom calls where we check in on everybody. And I
also love to support women entrepreneurially as well. I think we all, I say all, most
legalised speaks too, they have a special gift or a talent or an experience they've been through
that they can help others with or an artistic side. This is where the whole money making thing has
been, I believe we all have gifts and skills that we can monetize. So I love to support women
in getting the confidence because there's all that confidence as well having the confidence
and self-belief to get that business off the ground, to sell their artwork, to teach, to
you know, to share their experience in, you know, their healers, coaches, authors. And we just
need a little more confidence to tell ourselves, I can do this, I can make money of this, I can
support myself, I can, you know, I can increase my income. And a lot of people, you know,
you know, because a lot of my tapping videos involve manifesting money as well. Because I think
yes, I love your money video. I did, I did, I did, fun as well, because people think, well, how do you
manifest money? I think, well, I can give you thousands of examples of people who've literally
manifested money. And it's, when we stop thinking of it as being a finite resource and we know that
there are channels of abundance available to all of us, it's just, it's literally
upping into those channels of abundance and allowing the universe to present it with opportunities
and possibilities, you know, presenting us with ideas and inspiration, you know,
inspiration, where's it come from? It comes from when you open your mind to the universe and the
possibilities. And when, when, you know, if you break down the word inspiration, it's being
in spirit, spirit, God, of course, universe, whatever word you want to call it, has put an idea in
your head, then it's up to you to take action and bring it out to the world. But then it's,
that's when the tapping comes in, tap into that courage, the self-belief, and you can do this and
let go of the fear of what other people think, let go of fear of putting yourself out there and just
jolly well, do it. Just do it. Yeah, I tell people all the time, I'm like, don't worry, what other people
thinking, because they're just worrying about themselves, nobody's thinking about you. I was like,
just, just do it and do it, do it wrong if you have to, make as many mistakes as possible. And
it took me, it took me so long to step into that, like I didn't step into that until I was in my 40s,
you know? And so when I see somebody and they're 20 stepping into that, I'm like, yes, I love that
for you, you know? Like if I see, I have two daughters, when I see them stepping into themselves,
and I think the younger generation, I don't know if you agree with this, but I feel like they really,
they do a better job at it than the older generation. So I feel like this is improving over time.
And so I think the evolution, isn't it? Yeah, it's good to see, it's good to see. I love seeing that in
my daughters, like my youngest is 23, she'd be mortified right now, me talking about her, but
yeah, she's, she's powerful and I love it because when I was her age, I didn't have as much power,
like I had maybe like a little tip of my pinky power that she has. And so I'm always amazed,
yeah, I'm always amazed by that. So if you did a beautiful job explaining your membership,
you did such a beautiful job, like I feel like everyone's gonna want to join you in that. So maybe we
could put a link in the show notes for that. Oh, thank you. I could connect with you that way. Other than
YouTube and your membership, could they find you on social media also? Where do you hang out? Yeah,
mostly Instagram these days and Facebook, probably a bit more. I use Facebook for my community,
have Facebook groups. I have a free Facebook group, free Facebook group. And but yet Instagram,
I love to respond to DNs and connect with probably the most quickest way. It's probably spent
a bit too much time on Instagram, but yeah, same. Yeah. Okay, well, I'll put that in the show notes also.
I want to thank you so much for coming on and sharing yourself with all the listeners today.
It's been such a pleasure talking with you. Oh, thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate
its opportunity. Thank you so much.
