Life On My Terms: A Letter To My Younger Self

I have given a lot of time to think about how cool it would be to go through your younger years of life with all the knowledge I have now as a woman in my mid-life era or what I like to call my Villan Era, oh how much fun it would be. I would be so powerful it would be dangerous. 

This is why when I see the younger generations of women stepping into their power so amazingly I am in the front row of their cheering section. I’ll do anything to champion these young girls and women and live through their experiences with the pride of a mother. I will also do everything to raise that generation up. 

That’s where the topic came from for this blog. If I could send my younger self all my knowledge from the life that I lived so far, what would it be? What would I say to that young, insecure girl with a full life ahead of her? 

Here are some of the things on my list:

Don’t care about what anyone else thinks or says.

Nobody out there cares what you're doing. I swear, NOBODY.  Everyone is focused on their own self. We are all so focused on ourselves and so worried about what other people think of us that we are afraid to be a full expression of ourselves. Now I know that this is exactly what we need to be doing to have success in all areas of our lives, be a full expression of ourselves unapologetically. Now, in those little instances when you pick up a hater. It’s still not about you. It’s about that person and their insecurities. So just send them some love and keep going. If you have haters, you’re a bad-ass.

Don’t let fear stop you.

Fear is a lie. I mean, sometimes it can be true. In a dark alley at night or when you’re being chased by a lion. Most of the time though, it’s a lie. At least in a way, we allow it to affect us. Fear is our body's way of telling us, something is different, out of our regular activities and comfort zone where we feel safe. Fear is the excitement of the unknown of what’s yet to come. It’s kind of a way our bodies tell us to pay attention because this is different and it might actually be dangerous. Most times though, it’s exactly what you need to do to grow. As a matter of fact, now I use fear as a sign that whatever I’m afraid of is exactly what I need to do next in my life to grow and expand. Fear is the introduction to growth. 

Keep romantic relationships on the back burner, for now.

I think we start dating way too young. At least I did. I believe I was 13-14 years old. We just don’t really know who we are yet. We are moving from being a child to being a teen and we are just starting to form a deep understanding of who we are. It's a time we should be focusing on ourselves learning our talents and strengths. Learning our core values. This time should not be spent trying to impress a boy or worrying about what a boy thinks of you. Ugh! This is a big one for me because I really let this throw me way off. There is plenty of time for romance as we get older…plenty. Focus this time on becoming the most confident happy version of you that you can be!

Embrace and nurture your close relationships with other aligned women.

When I was younger I didn’t realize how much these relationships shape our life and support us. I also didn’t realize how important it is to always be raising other women up, praising them, and loving them. We have enough crap in this world that doesn’t support us the least we can do is support each other. I would tell my younger self to take good care of these relationships because they will be with you throughout your lifetime. 

Always put yourself first and take care of yourself at the highest level.

When we’re young we feel indestructible. Like nothing will ever slow us down. We are taught to take care of everyone else first and to wear this behavior as a badge of honor. This is how society raises girls. This is a bunch of B.S. When we put our health and care for ourselves first we can then put the best version of ourselves into the world. This is not about being selfish and not caring for others. It’s about being mature and responsible enough for yourself to know that when you're well-rested and cared for at the highest level then it’s at that high level you can then give back to your family and community. You are an asset to everyone around you. We need to start teaching this to girls and boys at a young age. This is so important. 

Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Nobody gets to a high level of success at anything without help. It might look or seem that way when you’re outside looking in. But I know now that there is no need to start from scratch when there is usually someone who has done what you're doing before. Save yourself some time and headaches and ask them for help. Also, when you know how to do something, don’t gatekeep. Give and help freely. There is no such thing as competition when we are all completely unique beings. There is no competition, there is no one who can replace you even if they tried. 

Always be open to advice, even when you think you might be an expert. If you think you know it all you’ll be closed off to learning all the things that will make you even better than you are right now!

Do the things that make you happy, not what everyone thinks you should do.

Pay close attention to all the things that bring you joy. That light you up inside. That makes you lose time when you’re doing them. Every time you feel this way, pay attention, and then when something makes you happy, do more and more of that. Don’t pay attention to society's expectations and rules. As a matter of fact, break all the rules. Stay passionate and true to whatever your calling may be and never stray too far from that. EVER. 

These are just a few to start. I wish my younger self could go forward into her life with a deep knowledge of all these things while at the same time being open to all the things that she will still be able to learn and master.

• I would absolutely not stress over All the Small Things.
• I would spend more time with the people who loved and cared about me, the people who championed me always and I would worry less about the people who didn't.
• I would spend more time learning and less time working.

So the one thing I'm going to do right now is all of those things and more!

• I'm going to focus on the things I love and the things I'm passionate about.
• I'm going to embrace the people I love and deepen those relationships.
• I'm going to surround myself with the people who love me champion me and raise me up and spend less time with the people who don't.
• I'm going to bring my core values and passions into my business and share all of those with my clients.
• I'm going to always have a mentor and ask for help to make things easier for myself.
• I'm definitely going to rest more and play as hard as I work.

I will never hesitate to reach for my goals no matter how big they are, Nothing is out of my reach and if I don't know how to do it I will find someone who does and get them to help me.

I’ve learned to create this in my life, and I love the work I do, leading other women through their life and all their challenges so they too can create the experiences they want in their lives too.

What I want to share with you today is that it doesn’t matter where your starting point is. It doesn’t matter who's ahead of you and who's behind you. All you need is the desire for change, the desire for more. You know that you are meant for more and you’re ready to step forward and take it. 

So what is it that you want, is it balance and health in your life? Do you want to reach a big goal? Do you want to get unstuck and move to the next level of you? Do you need support through a difficult transition? 

“The first step you need to take is to know and decide that everything you want for yourself is possible. Thats it. Then you just need to take one baby step every day toward what you want.”

You don’t need to know every step, just the next one.

As I said earlier in this letter in the advice to my younger self. Don’t wait, why wait? 

The best time to start is right now. 

Xo, T

P.S. If you have been in my world for a while, or even if you're new and would like the support and guidance that I offer, now is the time to get started. I’m running a fall special right now for my Private VIP Monthly coaching, if you’re interested, be sure to send me an email at tina@tinastinson or DM me on Instagram @tinastinsoncoach and ask me about my amazing fall VIP special. There are limited spaces for Fall so be sure to contact me ASAP.