Finding Your Flow: 6 Steps to Rediscover Joy and Meaning in Your Life

I went through different moments in my life where I would feel very stuck. Sometimes even feeling stuck for a while and then getting into a grove only to be thrown off my path again by feeling stuck yet AGAIN.

I believe feeling stuck is just a symptom of being out of alignment with yourself. Maybe you’ve grown or changed in some way. This is good, growth and expansion are a part of our human experience. 

If you’re feeling stuck right now, then this is just a sign that your life needs a small adjustment, and you need to do just a little bit of detective work to find out how to re-direct yourself. 

I used to see this as a bad thing, now, it feels kinda exciting. I know I need some changes, and I get to try new things and see what feels right. What feels like, a hell yes.

Now if you’re the type of person who hates change then just take it slow and make small changes. But remember, nothing changes if nothing changes. If you’re stuck and want to get unstuck, you’ll have to try something new

So, let’s look at this journey as a journey of self-discovery, fueled by reflection, joy, and unconditional self-love.

1.Know Your Starting Point: You can’t move forward without understanding where you are.

I always say that to get unstuck is like setting a GPS. You need to know your starting point and where you want to go. The steps in between don’t really matter right now.

If you were in New York and you wanted to get to LA, you would put those locations in the GPS and then it would spit out some directions. You would follow these directions knowing full well that roads could be closed, there might be construction to slow you down and some of the directions might even be wrong. But you’ll re-direct, and the GPS will change a little bit, and you’ll keep moving forward. 

Life is so similar. Even when we know where we are right now and if you’re reading this then I’m thinking you’re not the happiest about that right now, and we also know where we want to go, there's going to be quite a few hiccups. It’s just part of the journey and if we accept that it won’t be perfect and as planned then we can actually enjoy it. 

We do however need to have an idea about where we’re starting and then where we want to go. 

To start to learn more about where you’re at, let’s ask ourselves a few questions.

What feels out of alignment in your life right now? 

What activities drain your energy? 

What are you constantly avoiding?

What feels stagnant in your life?

Journaling exercise: Describe your current life in great detail and write out what you would like to change.

2. Revisit Past Joys: Your past holds clues to what lights you up.

This is something I do in my book, The Ultimate Guide to Getting Unstuck, for good this time. You can get your copy HERE.

Think about all your past experiences in your life. When you were a kid, a teen, in the different phases of adulthood. What brought you the most joy, where did time seem to stand still. A lot of times we will see some things pop up over and over again. These are the clues. 

For example, when I was a kid, I loved being in nature, going to the beach, digging in the sand, getting real dirty. I would get so into it I was in another world. Now, I love gardening. I get really dirty and totally immersed in it. Time seems to stand still and it's so satisfying and I’m so content. 

While these two things are not exactly the same, you can see the similarities.

Here's an action step for you because I’m all about taking action and moving forward. 

How, when, and where can you add some of these things back into your life. This will help stir the pot a bit. 

When we are stuck, stirring the pot helps us get unstuck. It might not be the perfect solution or your purpose in life, but it will create movement and fun. You never know, it might just be your purpose!

I also believe that it is our purpose in life to follow what lights us up and what brings us joy so this is a start.

3. Find What Lights You Up and Creates Flow: Flow happens when you’re fully immersed in something that aligns with your true self.

I talked a little bit about this in #2. So, what does flow feel like? Here are a few clues.

When you’re in flow you don’t notice time. Either you’ll be in a trance doing something you love and then when you lift your head up and return to the real world a whole bunch of time has passed and you didn’t ever realize it. Or it will feel like you’ve been in this wonderful zone for an entire day and hardly any time has passed. For reference, I love when the second one happens. I love this feeling though, this is flow, this is the zone.

When you’re doing something you love, it will energize you, light you up inside. If it's something you don’t like, you’ll feel drained. You just have to be intentional about paying attention to how you feel when you’re doing certain activities. 

We subconsciously go about our day just going through the motions. I call this, riding the hamster wheel. You need to hop off the hamster wheel and start paying attention to your actions. Asking yourself along the way, what feels good? What doesn’t? 

Here's a journaling exercise: What do I feel drawn to explore that excites or intrigues me? What is a hell yes? What is a hell no?

4. Love Yourself Unconditionally: Self-acceptance is the foundation for growth and purpose.

This is something that I struggled with for a long time and still to this day I still have to work on being intentional with this. It does not always come naturally to me. 

One of the best ways I practice self -love, and deep-level self-care is by asking myself the question in any situation. If this was my best friend in this situation, how would I support her? What would I say to her? How would I tell her to support herself? And then do these things for yourself, talk to yourself the same way you would talk to your best friend

When you do see yourself judging and participating in some negative self-talk, correct it immediately. I usually say in my head or out loud, Cancel-Clear-Delete and then I say something more positive or think of something more positive. I learned this phrase from my friend Christine Clifton, also a coach, and it stuck with me, I love it!

Repeat after me: I am enough exactly as I am

5. Embrace Authenticity: Living in alignment with your true self unlocks purpose.

Pay attention to when you are wearing a mask, muting yourself or acting a certain way to make others comfortable, or to avoid conflict. Sometimes even because you’re afraid of losing a person or being an outcast in a certain situation. 

One of my favorite quotes by Penny Reid is, “You should not have to light yourself on fire in order to keep someone else warm”. 

When you allow yourself to step into who you are meant to be, but you are living the true expression of the puzzle piece you are in the universe. There is no one else like you, no one can do what you are meant to do in this world, so it is your job, responsibility, your purpose to show up as YOU. 

This is so much easier anyway. When you’re living a lie it's a lot of work, when you're being you, you’re in flow, you get carried along. Much less work and much more fun. 

To address the thought of losing people in your life. If you do lose people from being yourself they most likely weren’t meant to be on your path in the first place. They are not aligned with your true nature. When you show up as YOU, the right people will be attracted to you and the people who are not aligned will just slowly lose interest and fall away. No drama needed, it just kinda happens.

Journaling Exercise: Describe who you are when you’re being your true authentic self. As you do this, what fears pop into your head? Write them all out and ask yourself, what would happen if I showed up this way anyway? 

The truth is we really don’t know, and you might be really pleasantly surprised. The person you’re hiding your true self from might be hiding the same exact traits from you and you're both using an enormous amount of energy NOT being yourself. I’ve seen this happen and have also experienced it myself.

6. Focus on Progress, Not Perfection: Perfectionism keeps you stuck; small steps forward create momentum and the wins you need

Small steps and small wins create the momentum you need to keep going and to stay inspired.  So, the focus should always be to move forward. Even if it’s just one tiny step. It's all about progress, movement, getting unstuck.

No matter how small the step or movement is, celebrate for god's sake!!!

I’m so tired of women specifically not celebrating. Most men don’t have a problem with this. 

From this point forward let’s all promise each other to celebrate each other. Raise each other up. Always build other women up. There is no COMPETITION because we are all different. So, let’s start a gang and support each other unconditionally. Let’s make this the norm

This is officially a Pinky Promise, one that cannot be broken.

Repeat after me: Every step forward, no matter how small, is meaningful.

This is just a start and a process of self-discovery and adventure. Next week I’ll go even deeper and share more about core values, create a vision, find your support system, and why deep-level self-care is a necessity not a luxury.

Until then, if you would like more support and a way to uplevel your self-care and go deeper on these topics then head over to the Soul Aligned Self Care Insider Community HERE.

Until Next week,

Xo, T