Boundaries Series Week 3 - Rebuilding Self-Trust and Setting Personal Boundaries

Rebuilding Self-Trust and Setting Personal Boundaries

Listen Here: https://www.tinastinson.com/podcasts/soul-aligned-self-care/episodes/2148879857

In the third week of my boundary series, I delve into the critical topic of understanding personal boundaries and cultivating self-trust on the "Soul Aligned Self-Care Podcast." Drawing from my own experiences as a people pleaser and survivor of a verbally abusive relationship, I offer profound insights and actionable advice to help you reconnect with your feelings, wants, and needs. This blog post will break down the key themes and tips from the episode, providing a comprehensive guide to setting and maintaining healthy boundaries.

Understanding Personal Boundaries

The Unique Nature of Boundaries

I emphasize that personal boundaries are unique to each individual and cannot be dictated by societal norms or external opinions. This is a crucial point: there is no one-size-fits-all approach to setting boundaries. Each person's boundaries are shaped by their experiences, values, and needs.

Actionable Advice:
Reflect on Your Values: Take time to identify what is most important to you. Your values will serve as a foundation for your boundaries.
Journal Your Experiences: Write about situations where you felt your boundaries were crossed. This can help you recognize patterns and understand where boundaries are needed.

Trusting Your Feelings and Instincts

I encourage you to trust your feelings and instincts when it comes to identifying where boundaries are needed in your life. Often, our bodies and emotions provide clear signals when something is not right.

Actionable Advice:
Body Scan Meditation: Regularly practice body scan meditation to become more attuned to physical sensations that may indicate stress or discomfort.
Emotional Check-Ins: Set aside time each day to check in with your emotions. Ask yourself how you are feeling and why.

Rebuilding Self-Trust

The Impact of People Pleasing and Abuse

I share how my experiences as a people pleaser and my time in a verbally abusive relationship led me to lose trust in myself. Rebuilding self-trust is a gradual process that involves reconnecting with one's inner voice.

Actionable Advice:
Affirmations: Use positive affirmations to reinforce your self-worth and trust in your decisions. Examples include "I trust myself" and "My feelings are valid."
Small Decisions: Start by making small decisions independently and acknowledging your ability to make good choices.

The "Take Five" Method

I introduce the "take five" method, where you take a few moments to breathe, reflect, and assess your feelings. This practice can help clarify what boundaries need to be set or adjusted.

Actionable Advice:
Practice Daily: Incorporate the "take five" method into your daily routine. Set a reminder on your phone to take five minutes to breathe and reflect.
Use in Stressful Situations: When feeling overwhelmed, use the "take five" method to regain clarity and determine your next steps.

Recognizing Energy Dynamics in Relationships

Identifying Energy Drainers and Energizers

I discuss the importance of recognizing the energy dynamics in relationships. Some individuals may energize you, while others may drain your energy. This awareness can inform boundary-setting decisions.

Actionable Advice:
Energy Journal: Keep a journal to track how you feel after interacting with different people. Note who leaves you feeling energized and who leaves you feeling drained.
Set Boundaries with Drainers: Limit your time with individuals who consistently drain your energy. Communicate your boundaries clearly and assertively.

The Role of Self-Care and Self-Love

Embracing Self-Care as a Foundation

The importance of self-care and self-love as foundational elements of a fulfilling life. Setting boundaries is an act of self-care that protects your well-being.

Actionable Advice:
Create a Self-Care Routine: Develop a self-care routine that includes activities you enjoy and that nourish your mind, body, and soul.
Prioritize Yourself: Make self-care a non-negotiable part of your schedule. Remember that taking care of yourself enables you to show up fully for others.

Overcoming Guilt

I emphasize that setting boundaries is a personal responsibility and not about seeking validation from others. This shift in mindset is crucial for overcoming the guilt often associated with boundary-setting.

Actionable Advice:
Reframe Your Thoughts: Challenge any guilt you feel by reminding yourself that setting boundaries is necessary for your well-being.
Seek Support: Join a support group or seek therapy to work through feelings of guilt and reinforce your right to set boundaries.

This week's episode serves as a powerful reminder of the importance of personal boundaries and self-trust. My insights and personal experiences provide valuable guidance for anyone looking to navigate their own boundary-setting journey. By tuning into your feelings and honoring your needs, you can cultivate a deeper sense of self-awareness and empowerment in your life.

You can begin to rebuild self-trust, recognize and set personal boundaries, and prioritize self-care. Remember, your boundaries are unique to you, and honoring them is an essential step towards living a fulfilling and authentic life.

Xo, T